Teacher 2 Santa:Ur son is a fool c report Card

Teacher 2 Santa:Ur son is a fool c report Card
Eng- 6Maths- 7Sci- 4Sst-8Pbi- 8TOTAL- 33
S:'Total' me to kamaal hi kar diya, Iski to tution b nhi thi

Santa Sasural Gaya

Santa Sasural Gaya
Uski sasu ne use 7 din tk subeh-sham Palak ka sag khilya
8ve din pucha kya khaoge
Santa- khet dikha do khud hi char Aunga.

Do Machar Aapas me bate kr rhe the-kaisa kalyug aa gya he

Do Machar Aapas me bate kr rhe the-kaisa kalyug aa gya he

Chuhedani me chuha
Sabundani me sabun
Pr
machhardani me hmari jagah aadmi sota hai

BV-Mera Manna hai Shadi ek lotery Hai

BV-Mera Manna hai Shadi ek lotery Hai
Pati-Mai aisa nahi manta
BV-Kyu
Pati-Qki lautry me dobara kismat azmane ka mauka jo milta hai

Santa bakri leker bus me chadha is baat pe cndctor ne

Santa bakri leker bus me chadha is baat pe cndctor ne use dhakka maar k bahar kar diya.santa bola-Agar mere sath ladies sawari na hoti to phir mai tujhe batata.

Lion- O budhia ruk, mujhe tera khooon peena hi.

Lion- O budhia ruk, mujhe tera khooon peena hi.
Budhia- lion bhai kisi javan ladki ka pio uska khoon garam hoga,
Lion-nahi aaj mera COLDDRINK pine ka man hai.

Baap: (Bachay Se)

Baap: (Bachay Se)

Ravi Or Chanab Kahan Par Hain?

Bacha: (Ghabra Kar)

Ammi Jaan Se Pochain.

.
.
.

Wohi Chezain Idhar Udhar Rakh Deti Hain. :-)

Husband Makes a Glass of Whisky & asks wife:

Husband Makes a Glass of Whisky & asks wife: Lo Pio isko!

Wife tastes & says: Chhi, Kitni karvi hay!

Husband: Aur tu sochti hay K mein Roz Ayyashi Karta hun!

Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kar Li

Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kar Li, Aap Unse Kuch Kehte Q Nahi

Pati-Q K, Unhone Mujhse Wada Kia H

Koi Acha Sa Rishta Dekh K Teri B Karwa Dunga.

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha
Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gya
Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi
Boy- Are Nhi Re Pagli, HmTo Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte He

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai,

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai, Fir Bhi Tu
25,000 Mang Rha He.
Santa-Tuze Cow Dudh Pine K Liye Leni Hai Ya Nain-Matkka K Liye

Santa:Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi

Santa:Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi Thi Ki Mujhe Usase Rishta Todna Pada.
Banta: Uski Mang Kya Thi

Santa: Shadi ki.

Bikari- Rupia Dede

Bikari- Rupia Dede
Snta-"Sharam Nai Aati Itne Hatte Katte Khubsurt Ho K Bheek Mangte Ho
bikari- Acha To Phir Apni Behen Ka Rishta Dede

DAD apko pata chale ki me 1st division

DAD apko pata chale ki me 1st division pas hua to apko kesa lgega
DAD -me to
KHUSI SE PAGAL ho jaunga
KID -Bus isi DAR se me FAIL hogya

Wife- Pados wale Pappu ki beti ko

Wife- Pados wale Pappu ki beti ko Math mein 99 marks mile


Husband- Arre yaar!
1 no. Kahan gya??


Wife- Wo hmara
beta laya hai.

santa & banta

Santa: Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati h?
Banta: Kyun nhi jayegi? Jab mera ghar, khet, paisa sab kuchh chala gaya to teri khansi kya cheej h

Chinese Larki KO Dekh Kr Mom Boli-

Chinese Larki KO Dekh Kr Mom Boli-Beta ye Kya Le Aye hO?

Santa-ApNe khud hi To Kaha tha k Ghar Aate huye cheeni Lete Aana.

Geogrphy sir:Batao bacho bharat

Geogrphy sir:Batao bacho bharat me sabse jyada baarish kaha girti he?
After thinking &
Jai said" Zameen par.

Lion- O budhia ruk, mujhe tera khooon peena hi.

Lion- O budhia ruk, mujhe tera khooon peena hi.
Budhia- lion bhai kisi javan ladki ka pio uska khoon garam hoga,
Lion-nahi aaj mera COLDDRINK pine ka man hai.

Baap: (Bachay Se)

Baap: (Bachay Se)

Ravi Or Chanab Kahan Par Hain?

Bacha: (Ghabra Kar)

Ammi Jaan Se Pochain.

.
.
.

Wohi Chezain Idhar Udhar Rakh Deti Hain. :-)

Husband Makes a Glass

Husband Makes a Glass of Whisky & asks wife: Lo Pio isko!

Wife tastes & says: Chhi, Kitni karvi hay!

Husband: Aur tu sochti hay K mein Roz Ayyashi Karta hun!

Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kar Li, Aap Unse Kuch Kehte Q Nahi

Patni-Sasurji Ne Dusri Shadi Kar Li, Aap Unse Kuch Kehte Q Nahi

Pati-Q K, Unhone Mujhse Wada Kia H

Koi Acha Sa Rishta Dekh K Teri B Karwa Dunga.

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha

Ek Boy Bike Se Ja Raha Tha
Ladki Ko Dekh Achanak Gir Gya
Ladki-Oh My God! Lagi To Nhi
Boy- Are Nhi Re Pagli, HmTo Aise Hi Bike Se Utarte He

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai, Fir Bhi Tu

Customer-Teri Cow Ki 1 Ankh Kharab Hai, Fir Bhi Tu
25,000 Mang Rha He.
Santa-Tuze Cow Dudh Pine K Liye Leni Hai Ya Nain-Matkka K Liye

sant & banta

Santa:Meri Premika Ki Mang Itani Badi Thi Ki Mujhe Usase Rishta Todna Pada.
Banta: Uski Mang Kya Thi

Santa: Shadi ki.

DAD apko pata chale ki me

DAD apko pata chale ki me 1st division pas hua to apko kesa lgega
DAD -me to
KHUSI SE PAGAL ho jaunga
KID -Bus isi DAR se me FAIL hogya

Bikari- Rupia Dede

Bikari- Rupia Dede
Snta-"Sharam Nai Aati Itne Hatte Katte Khubsurt Ho K Bheek Mangte Ho
bikari- Acha To Phir Apni Behen Ka Rishta Dede

Wife- Pados wale Pappu ki beti

Wife- Pados wale Pappu ki beti ko Math mein 99 marks mile


Husband- Arre yaar!
1 no. Kahan gya??


Wife- Wo hmara
beta laya hai.

santa & banta

Santa: Kya Daru Pine se khaansi jati h?
Banta: Kyun nhi jayegi? Jab mera ghar, khet, paisa sab kuchh chala gaya to teri khansi kya cheej h

Chinese Larki KO Dekh Kr Mom Boli-Beta ye Kya Le Aye hO?

Chinese Larki KO Dekh Kr Mom Boli-Beta ye Kya Le Aye hO?

Santa-ApNe khud hi To Kaha tha k Ghar Aate huye cheeni Lete Aana.

Geogrphy sir:Batao bacho

Geogrphy sir:Batao bacho bharat me sabse jyada baarish kaha girti he?
After thinking &
Jai said" Zameen par.

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.


Naukar- Galti Ho Gai Malik.
Lagta Hai Maine Aapko Aapni Roti De Di Hai

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya


Ye sb kya he?



AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli Dard Bataa Rahe They, Lekin Tumhari Toh Dhadkan Bhi Kaafi Badhi Huee Hai
Sonu- Woh Toh Aapki Fees Dekh kar Badhi Hai.

WIFE: Tum toh Kehte the Ki Shadi

WIFE: Tum toh Kehte the Ki Shadi K baad bhi Mujhe Bahut Pyaar Karoge,
HUSBAND: Sorry yar! Mujhe Malum Nhi Tha Ki Tumhari Shaadi Mujhse Hogi

TEACHER:Wo 3 Words Batao

TEACHER:Wo 3 Words Batao
Jo Sabse Jyada Bole Jate He?



STUDENT:Muje Nahi Pata.



TEACHER:Shabash Beta, Baith Jao.

SANTA ne Apni Car k Niche Kutte ko

SANTA ne Apni Car k Niche Kutte ko Leta Hua Dekha to Kutte ko Punch se Khicha or Kaha








Bahar nikal Saale, Bada aya Automobile Enginer

customer:Bhai sahab is underwear

customer:Bhai sahab is underwear ki kya garranty hai?shopkeeper:5 v manjil se kood k dekho,tum phat jayoge par underwear nahi...!!

Raavan sita ka haran karne k liye cycle lekar ay

Raavan sita ka haran karne k liye cycle lekar aya.
Ye dekh kar sita ne ram ko phone kiya to ram bole are tum fikar mat karo usko do savari nahi ati hai.

Sharma:- Ek Problem He

Sharma:- Ek Problem He
Yaar, Meri Beti Jawaan Ho Gai He Kya Karu.?

Verma:- Jawaan Ho Gai Hai To Border Pe Bhej De,
Sare Jawan Wahi Jate He

RGTY5E

Cute prayer Child:god:Plz i don't want 3rd world war

Cute prayer Child:god:Plz i don't want 3rd world war
God:Y? u luv ur country so much?
Child -No God i am weak in history i can't study another war..:-(:-)..

Teacher to boy:

Teacher to boy:

1 taraf paisa,
1 taraf dimag

Kya hoga?

boy: paisa

teacher:galat, agar main hoti to dimag leti

boy: jiske pas jo nahi vo wahi leta he

Dr.Ab tum bilkul thik ho gaye ho

Dr.Ab tum bilkul thik ho gaye ho phir b kyo dar rahe ho?
Mariz: Ji, Jis gadi se mera accident hua tha uspe likha tha 'phir milenge'

if a girl get 98% mark her response,

if a girl get 98% mark her response,
kamina 2 mark or de deta to uska kya jata tha,
if boy gets 35% mark he says:
check karne wala farishta tha yaar:-)

Boy to friend:

Boy to friend: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai.

Friend: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli bar tumari shakal dekhi thi to 3 din apni hassi nahi rok paya tha.

Santa sabji lene gya.

Santa sabji lene gya.
Sabji wala sbji pr pani chidk rha tha.
Santa intzar krta rha,
Jb kafi der ho gai to bola:-Agar ineh hosh aa gya ho to 1 kilo tol de...

Pati ke marane ke 2re din

Pati ke marane ke 2re din
patni ne paper me advtz diya
mere pati ki antim
yatra me aane ke liye
sub ko thanks.
Kavita
(Age-32, Hight- 5ft 2inch,
Rang-Gora, NO-Child)

Ek chor chori karne ek ghar me ghusa:

Ek chor chori karne ek ghar me ghusa:

Malik-Kaun hai..??
Chor-Miyaau
Malik-Kaun hai..??
Chor-Miyaau
Malik-Kaun hai..??
Chor-Saale billi hun billi.....!!

Teacher- Ladki ka paryavachi batao.

Teacher- Ladki ka paryavachi batao.
Boy- Maal. Teacher- Wo kaise?
Boy- Shashtron me likha hai ladki laxmi ka roop hoti hai, aur laxmi matlab Maal.

Advocate-Talak kar wane k 5000 lagenge.

Advocate-Talak kar wane k 5000 lagenge.
Men-Pagal ho kya? Panditji ne 51 me shadi karye thi.
Advocate-To saale dekh liya na saste kam ka natiza.

Baniya : kal tumhare mayke jane

Baniya : kal tumhare mayke jane ke baad raat ko chor aa gaye. Unhone
mujhe khub pita aur murga bhi bana diya.
Wife : to kya aapne shor nahi machaya.
Baniya : mein kya darpok hu jo shor machaunga!!

Master- Maine Tujhe Kutte pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha tha,

Master-
Maine Tujhe Kutte pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha tha,
Likh K kyu nai Laye?

Santa-
Masterji,
Jaise hi Maine Kutte pe Pen Rakha wo Bhag gaya.

Ek bacha mummy se pitne k bad apne papa se!

Ek bacha mummy se pitne k bad apne papa se!
Papa kabhi aap Egypt gaye ho?



Papa:Nahi beta



Bachcha: Phir itni khaufnaak mummy kahan se le aaye.

santa & banta

Santa-Yaar Banta hum dono me kya Rishta hai ?

Banta-jo Besan or Pakode ka hai

Santa-wo kaise?

Banta-Qki jab Besan SANTA hai

Tabhi to Pakoda BANTA hai.

Girl: muzpe shayari karo na..

Girl: muzpe shayari karo na..
shayar: ye resham si julphe karti hai andhera..
ye resham si julphe karti hai andhera..
Ho ja takli aur kar de savera

Girl- Ladka kaisa he..?

Girl- Ladka kaisa he..?
Brother-Ladka achha he,Engineering kiya he,
Dikhne me FILM ka HERO Lagta he..!
Girl : kaun si FILM ka HERO ?

" PAA"

Ek bacha mummy se pitne k bad apne papa se!

Ek bacha mummy se pitne k bad apne papa se!
Papa kabhi aap Egypt gaye ho?



Papa:Nahi beta



Bachcha: Phir itni khaufnaak mummy kahan se le aaye.

Math ki ladki ki gaali:saale dharti pe unsolved eq

Math ki ladki ki gaali:saale dharti pe unsolved eq,
trignometry k undefined angle,vector k dubl product,
kutte itna diferntiate krungi k kbi intergrt nhi ho paega

Teachr 2 studnt-past

Teachr 2 studnt-past, present, future ka 1example me deti hu or 1tum do
Tchr-"m sundr thi,sundr hu,sundr rhungi.
Stdnt-apko vham tha,vham h or vham rhega.

English class-kid

English class-kid: Me sleep with dad last night Madam corrected : NO beta,I slept with dad last night..

Kid : Aap mere sone k baad aayi hogi..

Snta- pant ki silai kitni h

?Snta- pant ki silai kitni h?
Tailor-150 rs.
Snta- Aur nikkar ki?
Talor -50 rs.
Santa- Chal nikkar hi sil de or lambai pairon tak rakhiyo..gm.

beta & papa

Beta : Papa,ye Girlfrnd kya hoti hai ?
Papa: jab tum bade ho kar aacha ladka banoge to tumhe b 1milegi..
Beta: agar aacha nahi bana to ?
Papa : to bahot milengi..

Patni ne kaha- Tum mujhe pehle jaisa pyar nahi karte

Patni ne kaha- Tum mujhe pehle jaisa pyar nahi karte,
shadi se pahle to pados ki chhat se kudkar mujhse milne aate the,
Pati bola- ab sochata hu ki usi chhat se kud jau.

Gajodhar:Hello amma khush khabri h

Gajodhar:Hello amma khush khabri he!
Amma-Ka he?
Gajodhar-Amma hum 2 se 3 ho gye he!
Amma-Ldka hua ki ldki?
Gajodhar-Nahi tuhar bahuriya 2sri shadi kr li hai.

Snta k bete ka accident hua

Snta k bete ka accident hua
Doc:Apke bete ki 2no leg katni padegi
Snta sir pakad lia
D:Kya hua?
Snta:Kal hi Nalayk ko nyi chapal dilayi thi.

sant & banta

Santa- yar mujhe ajeeb msg aya or mera mobile off ho gaya!!
Banta- kya lekha tha.?
Santa- battery low..
Banta- mujhe send kar sab ko tang karunga!!!

Boy-Ro Q rhi ho?

Boy-Ro Q rhi ho?


Grl-Mere marks bahut kam aaye h.



Boy-Bata kitne aye h?



Grl-Sirf 88%

Adiwasi area me 1 teacher ki posting ho gayi.

Adiwasi area me 1 teacher ki posting ho gayi.

Students se unka pehla question- "Pehle wale teacher kaise the..?"

Adiwasi students ka answer-







"Swadisht"

A woman ws kidnapped...

A woman ws kidnapped...
The kidnaper sent a piece of her finger to her husbnd n demanded money...
Husbnd replied- I want more proof
MUNDI BHEJO MUNDI ;-)

Two Frogs Sitting Together 1St Frog

Two Frogs Sitting Together 1St Frog: Trrrrr 2nd Frog: Trrrr 1st Frog:Trrrr 2nd Frog:Trrrr 1st Frog: Taratrrr 2nd Frog: Yar Topic Change Na Kar....

Mouse To Elephant:

Mouse To Elephant: 2 Din K Liye Apni Kameez Dena. Elephant: "Ha....Ha....Ha..... Pehney Ga Kya ??" Mouse: Nahe,Beti Ki Shadi Hay, Tent Lagwana Hay..

Nikah K Bad Dulha: Fees? Molvi

Nikah K Bad Dulha: Fees? Molvi: Bv Ki Khubsurti K Mutabiq Dedo Dulha Ne 10 Rupay De Diye Achank Hawa Se Lrki Ka Ghunghat Uth Gya Molvi: Baqaya To Lelo Bhai

Aik Aadmi Ki Biwi Sey Sawal Kia

Aik Aadmi Ki Biwi Sey Sawal Kia Geya Key Aapko Konsi Book Sab Sey Ziada Pasand Hai? Biwi: Apney Husband Ki Cheque Book….

Teacher: Hero Bhadur Hota Hai,

Teacher: Hero Bhadur Hota Hai, Heroin Khubsurat Hoti Hai, Tum Kia Banna Chahtey Ho? Bhadur Ya Khubsurat? Student: Dono, Yani . . . "Heroinchi"

Teacher: DELHI May Kutubminaar Hai.

Teacher: DELHI May Kutubminaar Hai.. A Student Was Sleeping.. Teacher Wakes Him Up & Asks: "Wht Did I Say"? Student: "Delhi Mey Kutta Bimar Hai" :-)

Man Knows Man’s Nature…

Man Knows Man’s Nature…
Customer:
I Need A Ladies Suit…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Shopkeeper:
Begum K Liye Chahiye Ya Koi Acha Sa Dikhaon?

Man: Among My 4 Sons 3 R MBA’s.

Man:
Among My 4 Sons 3 R MBA’s.
Friend:
4th?
Man:
He Didnt Study & Became A Barber
Friend:
Y D0nt U Throw Him Out?
Man:
Woi To
GHAR Ka Kharcha Chala Raha Hai.

Aik Pagal Dosray Pagal Say

Aik Pagal Dosray Pagal Say: Tum Kis Din Paida Howay? Dosra Pagal: Itwar Ko. Pehla Pagal: Tum Mujay Pagal Bana Rahay Ho Itwar Ko To Choti Hoti Hay Ha...

Rocky -vicky tu tina ko line marna 6od de

Rocky -vicky tu tina ko line marna 6od de .Vicky-kyu ?Rocky- kyunki uska 1 boyfriend he .Vicky- usme kya hua , fotball me bhi goalkeeper hota he fir bhi samne vali team goal marti he na .

Ladka: Hey bhagwan!Kisi samajhdar ladki ko meri g.

Ladka: Hey bhagwan!Kisi samajhdar ladki ko meri g.
frnd bana do.Bhagawan:Ghar chale jao beta,
Samajhdar ladki kabhi boyfrnd nai banati.

A muslim couple after divorce.

A muslim couple after divorce.
Husband:- ab hamare beech koi rishta nahi bacha hai.
Wife:- aise mat bolo salim k abba.
Hum abhi bhi mousere bhai-behen hai...

Pujari ko loosemotion lag gaye,

Pujari ko loosemotion lag gaye, to woh doctor ke pass dawai lene challa giya, doctor ne dawai di to pujari ne poocha, doctor sahib PARHEJ kya karu ?
Doctor bola : bas SHANKH jor se mat bajana ...

Pujari ko loosemotion lag gaye,

Pujari ko loosemotion lag gaye, to woh doctor ke pass dawai lene challa giya, doctor ne dawai di to pujari ne poocha, doctor sahib PARHEJ kya karu ?
Doctor bola : bas SHANKH jor se mat bajana ...

garmi ka din tha aur ek machchar

garmi ka din tha aur ek machchar bahut pareshaani se baitha tha...thabhi ek saathi machchar wahaan aaya aur poocha... " kyu bhai tum itne pareshaan kyu ho"

pahale machar ne jawaab dia...." dekh yaar kamaal ho raha hai....choohe daani mai chooha.... saabun daani mai saabun aur machchar daani mai aadmi so raha hai...."

Sir: Chalo Newton's law batao..?

Sir: Chalo Newton's law batao..?

SANTA: Sir Mujhe pura nahi bas last ka aata hai.

Sir: chalo utna hi batao..

SANTA:-".. And dis is called d Newton's law"

SANTA & BANTA

Santa: agar me Bus pe chadu ya Bus mujh pe chade,
dono me kya fark hai?

Banta:koi fark nai,

Dono bar ticket teri hi kategi.

SANTA & BANTA

Santa- Kal Raat Ko party main maine ek ladki ko RAPE se Baachaya.
Banta -Wah Bhai Par Kaise??

Santa-Self Control Yaar Self Control !!

Santa & Banta

Santa:-Agar Teri Bivi Ko Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kya Karega?
Banta:-Mujhe Kya Karna ! Ye Do Behno Ka Aapsi Mamla Hai

"DHAKKAA !"

Wife : Agar Main Mountain Everest Pe Chadhun Toh Aap Mujhe Kya Doge ?




Husband : Pagli, Isme Pucchne Wali Kya Baat Hai..


"DHAKKAA !"

Snta K Tange Nili Ho Gyi

Snta K Tange Nili Ho Gyi,
Dr: Zeher h Katni Padegi.
Tang Kat Kr nakli Laga Di.
2Din Bad, Nakli Tange B Nili Pad Gyi.
Dr: Ab Bimari Smjh Ayi JEANS Rang chorti h.

Sonu: Ladki fasaani aati hai. Monu: Nahi.

Sonu: Ladki fasaani aati hai. Monu: Nahi.
Sonu: Kagaz ka jaahaz banake class room mein uda de,
Madam puche to ladki ka naam lagade, bas ladki phas gayi.

two agarbattis on a boat but

two agarbattis on a boat but no source of fire. How will you light an agarbattis if you are in the middle of the river?” Some answers are:
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

Boy: Bade Zalim hain teri Gali k bache.

Boy: Bade Zalim hain teri Gali k bache.
Girl: kya hua..





Boy: Kutte piche laga k kehte hain,
PYAR KIYA TO DARNA KYA.

Ek hotel me naye shaadi shuda

Ek hotel me naye shaadi shuda jodon k liye ek line likhi hui thi:"Khidki par parde daal dijye" Aapka pyaar andha ho skta hai," Magar humara staff nahi'...

Teacher- What is Ur Father?

Teacher- What is Ur Father?

SANTA- I.C.S In Summer & P.C.S In Winter

Tchr-What?

SNTA- Icecrem Seller In Summer& Pakoda Chat Seller In Winter

Ram lanka jeet k vapas laute tab soorpnakh ; Prabhu mere kya hoga ?

Ram lanka jeet k vapas laute tab soorpnakh ; Prabhu mere kya hoga ?
RAM : Kalyug me ayodhya par raj karegi,lekin teri shadi phir bhi nahi hogi..
Naam hoga..
" MAYAWATI"

Boy: Me 4 years ka hu, aur tum?

Boy: Me 4 years ka hu, aur tum?
Girl: Me bhi 4 years ki hu
Boy: To fir chal na, sharmana kya?
Girl: kaha?
Boy: Polio ki dawai pine...

Mom: My dear son, why your Wife sitting so silent..?

Mom: My dear son, why your Wife sitting so silent..?

SON: Nothing mom, she asked lipstick, but i gave fevistick that's all.
No chip chip
no chik chik:-)

Apni Naraz GF ko manane k bad Ladka Pyar se bola:

Apni Naraz GF ko manane k bad Ladka Pyar se bola:
Jaan,kaho to Tumhare liye chand tare tod lau

Ladki halki c Muskurai OR boli
Phir Haramipan Shuru.

Snta & Bnta moving on road at 12midnight

Snta & Bnta moving on road at 12midnight

Snta:Bahut garmi he yaar

Bnta:HA yaarDin hota to kahi chhao me baith jate.

Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.

Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.

Banta- to isme prob kya hai?

Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi

GF-Mai Kisi Or Se shadi kar rahi hu

GF-Mai Kisi Or Se shadi kar rahi hu
Muje Bhul Jao
BF-Na Tere Aane ki khushi
Na tere jane ka Gum
Ja Behan Ja Aj Se Tera Kissa Bhi Khatam.

SANTA ka school me 7th class me new admision huwa.

SANTA ka school me 7th class me new admision huwa.
Teacher-Batao Sachin Tendulkar kon hai ?
SANTA-Humko kya pata mai To school me naya hun

Ramu apne 16 bachho or biwi

Ramu apne 16 bachho or biwi
k sath dost k ghar lunch pe
gaya.
Dost ne itni badi family dekh
kar gusse mein kaha: Lajja
nahi aayee. Ramu: Nahi uska exam hai …!

JUDGE to Santa, Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he

JUDGE to Santa, Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he, kal tumhe Fansi pe chdhaya jayega.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: Wo to thik he,lekin utara kab jayega . . .

Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?

Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?
Intresting Jawab:

Taki Break-up Krte Waqt Ye Keh Sake Ki Tum Mere Piche Pade The,Mai Nai. .

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Mulzim:QK Unho Ne Kaha Tha K Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
K Thanda Ho Jau Maine Zehar Daal Kar De Diya

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H
"@@@@@@@"

Student: Mere Pitaji Ka.?

Tchr:Aisa Kaise?

Student:Ji,Wo "JALEBI" Bechte Hai..Hath Aise Hi Chalte Hai

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se:

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se: Ghar ka rashan khatam ho Gya hai jaldi se le k aaye
Chor: Le aaouga aisi b kya jaldi he zara dukane To band hone do

Mariz-Dr. sahab Mujhe bimari h

Mariz-Dr. sahab Mujhe bimari h,Mai baat ko kehne
K bad bhool jata hu
Or 1dum gali de deta hu
Doc.=Ye bimari kb se h
M=kon c bimari Kamrne, kutte

संता: मेरी पत्नी मेरा बहुत ख्याल रखती है!

संता: मेरी पत्नी मेरा बहुत ख्याल रखती है! रात मैंने उससे गर्म पानी मांगा उसने मिन्टो में मुझे गर्म पानी दे दिया!
बंता: पर आपने पानी क्या करना था?
संता: मैं हमेशा गर्म पानी से ही बर्तन साफ़ करता हूँ!

बंता: आप क्या कर रहे हो?

बंता: आप क्या कर रहे हो?
: आप क्या कर रहे हो?
संता: मैं अपनी जीतो को चिट्ठी लिख रहा हूँ!
बंता: पर आपको तो लिखना नहीं आता!
संता: उसे कौनसा पड़ना आता है!

संता बंता तंग सीढ़ियों में एक दूसरे के सामने अड़ गए!

संता बंता तंग सीढ़ियों में एक दूसरे के सामने अड़ गए!
बंता: मैं मूर्खों के लिये रास्ता नहीं छोड़ता!
संता: (पीछे होकर) लेकिन मैं छोड़ देता हूँ!

GOLU:Yaar, mai kuch bhI

GOLU:Yaar, mai kuch bhi karta hu to meri biwi beech me
aa jati Hai

MOLU:Yaar,tu car chala kar dekh

Daant nikalne ke liye Muh kholiye

Daant nikalne ke liye Muh kholiye

Lady:
Aa..aa

Dr:
Aur thoda

Lady:
AA..AA

Dr:
Aur thoda Kholiye

Lady:
Dr, kya aap muh mein baitke daant nikalenge?

Doctor's Wife Nvr Allowed Him 2 Come Near Her!

Doctor's Wife Nvr Allowed Him 2 Come Near Her!
She Used A Very Unique Technique,
Guess Wat?
.
.
?
.
.
By Eating Apple,
An Apple A day
Keeps The Doctor Away:

Santa- mera ghar itna bada hai ki andar local train chalti hai

Santa- mera ghar itna bada hai ki andar local train chalti hai

Banta- mera ghar to itna bada hai ki kone me chale jao to roaming lagti hai.

Tchr-Batao Kutta Puch Q Hilata Hai?

Tchr-Batao Kutta Puch Q Hilata Hai?

Boy - Q ki Puch Me Itni Taakat Nhi Hoti K Wo Kutte Ko Hila Sake!!

Sidhi Baat
No Bakvas..
Clear hai!!;-)

Ek din Hanuman ji patang uda rhe the.

Ek din Hanuman ji patang uda rhe the.
Upar se Yamraj ne patang ki kanni kaat di.
Hanuman ji Bole- Mangal Bhavan Amangal Haari,
Neeche aao tohe patak k mari.

Ladka Ladki dekhne gaya,

Ladka Ladki dekhne gaya,
Thodi der chup baithe ke baad bola= English chalegi na?
Ladki(Sharmate huye)= Soda saath me ho to Desi bhi chalegi..

Papa- ye kya tumhare maths me 1 marks aaya h

Papa- ye kya tumhare maths me 1 marks aaya h

Son- jab irado me ho dugni chamak to hoslo me Q nhi

Papa-Wat?

Son- sirf 2 zero ka frk he papa..aa jaenge;-)

Train M Sawar GOLU:Thookna H,Kaha Thooku

Train M Sawar GOLU:Thookna H,Kaha Thooku
MOLU:Agle Aadmi Ki Jaib Me Thook
G:Use Pata Chala To
M:Jb Maine Teri Jaib Me Thooka To Tuje Pta Chala Tha

BOY to GIRL:Oye Hoye Kaha Ja Rai Hai

BOY to GIRL:Oye Hoye Kaha Ja Rai Hai

GIRL:-Tere Ghar

BOY:-Mai Bhi Ata Hu

GIRL:-Aja Besharam Ammi Ko Bataugi Apni Behan Ko Cherta Hai

Beta -Kya pari aakash me udti hai?

Beta -Kya pari aakash me udti hai?
Ma- Ha
Beta - To apni kamvali Q nahi Udti?
Ma- Wo Pari Nahi Hai.
Beta - Per papa to use pari kahte hai.
Ma - kal suha ud jaygi.

SANTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud

SANTA Roti Ka 1 Tukda Khud or 1 Murge Ko Khila Raha Tha.

BANTA- Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?

SANTA- Hum Khaandani Log Hain
Roz Roti Chickn Ke Saath Khate hain.

Theacher- "LAdki sab ladko se hans ke baate karti hai.

Theacher- "LAdki sab ladko se hans ke baate karti hai.
Batao is sentence me ladki kya hai?"
Student-"Sir, ladki bahut chaalu hai"

teacher 2 student art ki copy pe sab train banao me 5min me aarhi hu

teacher 2 student art ki copy pe sab train banao me 5min me aarhi hu

10min baad

te-train dikhao

stu-aap late ho gyi train 5min phle hi chali gae..

boy:what is ur name?

boy:what is ur name?
girl:kyun bataun? main tumhe jaanti bhi nai
boy: mat bata mai bhi kaunsa tujhe apni FERRARI mein baitha raha hoon
girl:anjali,B.com,2nd year,tution time 6-8pm

MAA=beta kya kar rhe ho...?

MAA=beta kya kar rhe ho...?

BETA=pdh raha hu.

MAA=excelent ! kya pdh rhe ho...?

BETA=ji...GIRL FRIEND ke message..C

1 dost ne dusare dost se 7 saal baad milne per pucha

1 dost ne dusare dost se 7 saal baad milne per pucha:Yaar tumhare bache Pappu or munni ka kya haal ha
Dost-Ji pappu pas ho gya
or
munni badnam ho gai.

Ek Aadmi Ladies ward me admit ho gaya

Ek Aadmi Ladies ward me admit ho gaya.

Nurse:-
Tumko sharm nahi aati.

Aadmi bola:-
Sharm kaisi...!
Hum to Paida hi Ladies Ward me hue the.

Senior Doctor Junior Doctor Se:

Senior Doctor Junior Doctor Se:
Ward No. 12 Main Behosh Paray Patient
Ki Kya Report Hai?

Junior Doctor:Sir Uska Tou Maine Postmortem
Kr Diya

Kirshna Ke Kadmo Pe

Kirshna Ke Kadmo Pe Kadam Badhate Chalo
Citi Bajate Chalo
Radha to Ghar Wale dilayenge hi
Magar tab tak Gopiya Patate Chalo

एक झगडालू पत्नी पति पर बरस रही थी और वह

Jokes >> Husband - Wife

एक झगडालू पत्नी पति पर बरस रही थी और वह बेचारा मुंह लटकाए खडा हुआ था।
पत्नी बोल रही थी। कायर कही के, तुम आदमी हो या चुहे?
पति गिडगिडाया- श्रीमतीजी , मैं आपका पति ही हूं, अगर चूहा होता तो तुम थर-थर कांत रही होती।

Jab vo andar jayega toh Dard hoga pehli baar aisa hi hota hai par tum aawaaz mat karna warna sabko pata chal jayega ki TUM???????????????????????????????????????

injection se bahut darte ho.

पतिः डार्लिग! यह सच है न कि एक बार देखा हुआ चेहरा तुम कभी नह

पतिः डार्लिग! यह सच है न कि एक बार देखा हुआ चेहरा तुम कभी नही भूलती ?
पत्नीः हां, मगर क्यो ?
पति: वो दरअसल तुम्हारे ड्रेसिंग टेबल का महंगा आईना अभी-अभी टूट गया है
और नए आईने का जुगाड होने तक तुम्हे अपनी याददाश्त से काम चलाना पडेगा।

Nikah K Bad Dulha: Fees

Nikah K Bad Dulha: Fees? Molvi: Bv Ki Khubsurti K Mutabiq Dedo Dulha Ne 10 Rupay De Diye Achank Hawa Se Lrki Ka Ghunghat Uth Gya Molvi: Baqaya To Lelo Bhai

पत्नी: अपने कंजूसी पति से :- भगवान के लिए

पत्नी: अपने कंजूसी पति से :- भगवान के लिए मुझ पर दया करो और जल्दी अस्पताल में फोन करके एंबुलेंस को बुलाया लो। मेरे दिल में बहुत दर्द हो रहा है।
पति: श्मशान घाट फोन करके मुर्दागाडी बुला लेता हूं। मैं तुम्हें अस्पताल ले जाकर फालतू पैसा खर्च करना नही चाहता।

Aik Aadmi Ki Biwi Sey

Aik Aadmi Ki Biwi Sey Sawal Kia Geya Key Aapko Konsi Book Sab Sey Ziada Pasand Hai?
Biwi: Apney Husband Ki Cheque Book….

Teacher: Hero Bhadur Hota Hai,

Teacher: Hero Bhadur Hota Hai,
Heroin Khubsurat Hoti Hai,
Tum Kia Banna Chahtey Ho?
Bhadur Ya Khubsurat? Student: Dono, Yani . . . "Hero

Teacher: DELHI May Kutubminaar Hai..

Teacher: DELHI May Kutubminaar Hai..
Student Was Sleeping..
Teacher Wakes Him Up & Asks: "Wht Did I Say"?
Student: "Delhi Mey Kutta Bimar Hai" :-)

PRINCIPAL : Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gay

PRINCIPAL :
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time
200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.


MUNNA BHAI :
Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

CIRCUIT :

CIRCUIT :
Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT :
Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.

Man Knows Man’s Nature…

Man Knows Man’s Nature…
Customer:
I Need A Ladies Suit…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Shopkeeper:
Begum K Liye Chahiye Ya Koi Acha Sa Dikhaon?

Man: Among My 4 Sons 3 R MBA’s.

Man:
Among My 4 Sons 3 R MBA’s.
Friend:
4th?
Man:
He Didnt Study & Became A Barber
Friend:
Y D0nt U Throw Him Out?
Man:
Woi To
GHAR Ka Kharcha Chala Raha Hai..

MUNNA BHAI :

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, tu kitna padha hai?
MAMU :
B.A.
MUNNA BHAI :
Sala, two lafz padha aur woh bhi ulta?
____________ _________ _________

MUNNA BHAI :

MUNNA BHAI :
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU :
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI :
Yaad nahin hai yaar. Bahut purani baat hai.
___________ _________ _______

Aik Pagal Dosray Pagal Say

Aik Pagal Dosray Pagal Say: Tum Kis Din Paida Howay? Dosra Pagal: Itwar Ko. Pehla Pagal: Tum Mujay Pagal Bana Rahay Ho Itwar Ko To Choti Hoti Hay Ha...

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is

Circuit takes a flight to Singapore and he is seated next to an Englishman.
Circuit open his tiffin and serves himself a roti.


ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Bread India
Circuit then open the box of jalebi.
ENGLISHMAN :
What is this?
CIRCUIT :
Sweet India
With all the food he hogged on, Munna farts. The Englishman is offended and
in shock asks ...
ENGLISHMAN :
What is that?
CIRCUIT :
Air India

Husband wife ki godh mein leta

Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua tha. Aur wife ne pyaar se apne husband se puchha:

Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.

Husband: Aise, jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.

1 Khubsuti

1 Khubsuti
1 Taazgi
1 Dosti
1 Narazgi
1 Sapna
1 Apna
1 Aas
1 Ehsass
1 Rishta
1 Pyas
Kuch Dur
Kuch Pas
Kuch Log
Bahut Khaas..Jaise AAP!

"Sardi ki Dhup me Chamakta

"Sardi ki Dhup me Chamakta Profile hai," Sabse alag sbse juda Apka Smile hai,"Wah kya Ada kya Style hai,"Naak Pochhne ki Tameez nahi aur Hath me Mobil

Rocky -vicky tu tina ko line marna 6od de .

Rocky -vicky tu tina ko line marna 6od de .
Vicky-kyu ?Rocky- kyunki uska 1 boyfriend he .
Vicky- usme kya hua ,
fotball me bhi goalkeeper hota he fir bhi samne vali team goal marti he na .

1 Andha aadmi air force mein bharti ke liye gaya

1 Andha aadmi air force mein bharti ke liye gaya

Major: Main tumhe kiss kam ke liye rakhu?

Aadmi: Sirf andhadhundh firing ke liye!

a lecture waz going on

a lecture waz going on
suddenly a boy went out of the class

lecturer: ye bahar kyu gaya??

boy's friend: sir, usko neend me chalne ki aadat hai

Teacher:Montu tere Papa kya krte hai?

Teacher:Montu tere Papa kya krte hai?
Montu:Sir HDFC ke Malik hai!

Teacher:WAH! HDFC Bank?

Montu:Nahi Sir, Henu Dahibade & Faryali Center

Aadmi Kafi Der Se WAITER Ko KHUJLI Karte Dekh Raha Tha

Aadmi Kafi Der Se WAITER Ko KHUJLI Karte Dekh Raha Tha

Aadmi Ne Use Bula K Pucha-KHUJLI H Kya

Waiter-SAAB, Agar Menu Me Likhi H To Zarur Milega.

Yaar me ye msg ap ko apne

Yaar me ye msg ap ko apne
Brand new
i.pod
6 mega pxcl camra
8 GB memory
Blue/Infra/GPRS/MMS
Ur
Touch Screen

Se to nhi kr rha
Pr
DUA krna jald az jald kr sku

Madom - Bachcho batao kis devi par kaun sa prasad chadhta hai

Madom - Bachcho batao kis devi par kaun sa prasad chadhta hai ?

Ek bachcha - Yes mam RAVRI DEVI par LALU PRASAD chadhta hai.

nsan sub se zyada mafi kis se mangta h?

nsan sub se zyada mafi kis se mangta h?
BOSS k samne?
WIFE k samne?
GIRL Frnd k samne?
Nahi?
?
?
Phir
?
?
Bhikari k samne
"Maff Karo Baba,Aage Jao.....

Ladka:hum 25 bhai bahan he

Ladka:hum 25 bhai bahan he
Ladki:kya aap ke ghar family planning wale nahi aate?
Ladka:aaye the par school samajh ke vapas chale gaye

1 Andha aadmi air force mein bharti ke liye gaya

1 Andha aadmi air force mein bharti ke liye gaya

Major: Main tumhe kiss kam ke liye rakhu?

Aadmi: Sirf andhadhundh firing ke liye!

Khuda se kya mangu tere vaste

Khuda se kya mangu tere vaste, Sada khushiyo se bhare ho tere raste,Hasi tere chehre pe rahe is tarah,Khusbu phool ke sath rehti hai jis tarah.

Aasooyon ko na dosh do..

Aasooyon ko na dosh do... Kambaqt yahi to wafaa karte hai... Akelepan me yeh dil behlaane ko humara.. bin pooche... chale aate hai

Best friend wo nahi jo

Best friend wo nahi jo kabhi kabhiek sms kare.
Best frnd wo hai jo sms ka poora truck bheje..

"Garmi aur Insult"

"Garmi aur Insult" jitni zyada mehsoos karoge, utni hi zyada lagegi... So be careless & be besharam!! ENJOY LIFE, THINK HATKE.

Param Pujya Mitra,

Param Pujya Mitra,
Prnam,Apke sndesh na milne se hm ati vichlit avastha me hain Krpya apne
"chalit durbhas yantr"se sndes bhejte rhen, man Prafullit rahta hai

Karlo YAAD Tab Tak Hum Zinda Hain

Karlo YAAD Tab Tak Hum Zinda Hain

Dost

Phir Mat Kehna Chala Gaya Hai Dil Mein Yadein Basa Kr.

kisi ne kya khub kaha h

kisi ne kya khub kaha h

Zindagi tasveer b hai aur taqdeer bi
Manchahe rango se bane to tasveer h
Aur
Unchahe rango se bane to taqdeer hai

Nach meri bul bul TUJHE paisa milega,

Nach meri bul bul TUJHE paisa milega,

wah..wah


Nach meri bul bul TUJHE paisa milega,


Hum Log CID se hai koi apni jagah se nahi HILEGA

Dil Ki zyada gahraiyon me mat jana raj

Dil Ki zyada gahraiyon me mat jana raj
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kyunki
.
.
.
Dil ke niche Kidny hoti he.

a lecture waz going on

a lecture waz going on
suddenly a boy went out of the class

lecturer: ye bahar kyu gaya??

boy's friend: sir, usko neend me chalne ki aadat hai

Teacher:Montu tere Papa kya krte hai?

Teacher:Montu tere Papa kya krte hai?
Montu:Sir HDFC ke Malik hai!

Teacher:WAH! HDFC Bank?

Montu:Nahi Sir, Henu Dahibade & Faryali Center.

Aadmi Kafi Der Se WAITER Ko KHUJLI Karte Dekh Raha Tha

Aadmi Kafi Der Se WAITER Ko KHUJLI Karte Dekh Raha Tha

Aadmi Ne Use Bula K Pucha-KHUJLI H Kya

Waiter-SAAB, Agar Menu Me Likhi H To Zarur Milega.

father- 1 zamana tha k mai Rs 10 me kirana, saag, dudh

father- 1 zamana tha k mai Rs 10 me kirana, saag, dudh, or nashta leke aata tha.

Beta-Ab possible nahi hai Dad Qki ab wahan CCTV camera hota hai

1 darzi logon k kapde lekr farar hogya

1 darzi logon k kapde lekr farar hogya

Koi kehta meri pant,

Koi kehta meri Shirt,

1 Santa bhi Ro raha tha Logo ne puchha Q Ro Rahe ho?

Santa:mera naap le gaya.

Wife-Aji sunte ho ghar me namak khatam ho gaya h

Wife-Aji sunte ho ghar me namak khatam ho gaya h
daal me kya daalu.
husband-Dimaag to h hi nhi
naya colgate active salt daal de
usme namak hai..

Dur se dekha barish ho raha hai

Dur se dekha barish ho raha hai
Dur se dekha barish ho raha hai
Samne gaya bhig gaya

serious comedy kab hoti hai?

serious comedy kab hoti hai?
jab comedy karne wale ki comedy sun ke public ko gussa aa jaye aur vo usse pit de usse serious comedy kahate hai

('.') <')I('> Oye _/'/_Hello

('.')
<')I('> Oye
_/'/_Hello

Sun rahe ho ya nhi
.

.

.

.




Aaj mujhe msg aapke padosi karenge kya.?
KAMAAL Hai...
Zimmedari ka koi ehsaas hi nhi hai..?

Muskurahat apke"sms"se milti thi,

Muskurahat apke"sms"se milti thi,Dil ko rahat apke "sms"se milti thi,Band kyun kar diya"sms" karna,Hamari to sms factry bhi apke"sms" se chalti thi.

Kisi Ne Sach Kaha Hai...

Kisi Ne Sach Kaha Hai...

Ki Jise Tum Sabse Jyada Chaho Usko Kabhi Mat Aazmana,

Kyonki Agar Wo Gunehgaar Nikla, Tab Bhi
Dil Tumhara Hi TutegA.

Zindagi mei jo hum

Zindagi mei jo hum
chahte h,,,
Wo Aasani se nahi milta lekin zindgi ka sach ye h ki...

Hum bhi wahi chahte h jo Aasan nhi hota.

Najane Ye Waqt Kaha Se Aata Hai,

Najane Ye Waqt Kaha Se Aata Hai, Kitno Ko Apne Sath Le Jata Hai, Is Waqt Ko Abhitak Koi Samajh Na Paya Na Samjhenga, Ye Waqt Kal Phir Aayenga Aur Kisi Apne Ko Apne Sath Lejayenga.!

DIL He To Pyar H

DIL He To Pyar H
Pyar He To IshQ h
IshQ He To Mohbat H
Mohbat He To Dard H.
Dard He To"ZANDU-BAAM" H
Or...
Zandu baam he to MUNNI BADNAM he!

Chintu: Didi Ro Kyo Rahi Hai?

Chintu: Didi Ro Kyo Rahi Hai?
Maa: Wah Sasural Ja Rahi Hai.
Chintu: Mujhe Laga Use School Bhej Rahe Hai.

Santa- Maa kehti he bhains ka dodh pine

Santa- Maa kehti he bhains ka dodh pine
se dimag tez hota he
Banta- Ma bewakuf banati he
Agar aisa hota to bhains ka baccha SCIENTIST nahi ban jata

Girl Demand For Ice Cream..

Girl Demand For Ice Cream..
Boy Purchased it..
Girl: Thank U
Boy: Only Thank U?
Girl: U Want Ki$S Na?
Boy:Chup Kar!! Aadhi Ice Cream De Mujhe.

Ek newspaper me chapa"50%"

Ek newspaper me chapa"50%"
"ladkiya bevkof hoti hai"
Is pr ladkiyo ne khub halla machaya.
Fir chapa"50% ladkiya bevkuf nahi hoti"
tab jakr ladkiya shant hui.

Chora bola chori te- "janeman tere liye chand

Chora bola chori te- "janeman tere liye chand tare tod du"Chori b gani badmas thi nu boli-"pehla apni compartment to tod le sussare

Koi Diwani Apko Hr Tarf Dhund Rhi He,

Koi Diwani Apko Hr Tarf Dhund Rhi He,
Apke Vzud ko Bekrari Se Puch Rhi He,
Khuda Apko Slamat rkhe,

Suna He Mayawatiji Apne Liye Dulha Dhund Rhi He..

Lady- Kya tumhari bus mein bachho ka aadha kiraya lagta hai,

Lady- Kya tumhari bus mein bachho ka aadha kiraya lagta hai,
Conductor-Haan,Agar 12 Se Kam ho,
Lady- Theek hai, Mere to 10 hi hain,..

ek ladka dusre ladke se kahta hai

ek ladka dusre ladke se kahta hai- aaj maine railway station par khari train ki sarihowo nikL DI.
DUSRA- WELL, wahi train hamari shop par pincer judwane aayi thi.

Raza: 13 days ago

Raza:
13 days ago
Santa apna sar pani me duba rha tha
Biwi-kya kAr rhe h?
Santa-Dimag chalta nhi h Sala

dekh rha hu kahi Puncher to nhi.
:-)
Smile wit me..!!

Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Pathan: Bhai sahab 1 kala bulb dena.

Storekeeper: Aap kaley bulb ka kia karainge?

Pathan: Dopaher me soney k liye andhera karna ha

: I Decided to SUICIDE.

:
I Decided to SUICIDE.
.
.
.
.
.
I Went to Railway Track..
.
And Then Your message Came
.
I Thought
.
"Jab tumhare jaise JEE Rahe Hai
.
TO MAIN KYU MARU?

bas tuhi hai jiska muze intezar

bas tuhi hai jiska muze intezar
tha bas mai hi hun jisaka tuzako intezar tha haan tuhi hai wo meri 11 no ki bus

Ibadat ke zriye DIL ko saaf rhna,

Ibadat ke zriye DIL ko saaf rhna,
Jismo rooh ko Gunaho se paak rakhna.
DOST Meri YE ilteja hai Aap se,
Is Gunehgaar ko Dua me yaad rakhna..

mai" market me hu, tumhare

mai" market me hu, tumhare liye diwali pa kya lu. kapta ya aur koi cheez rply fasht..................






Aisha mushje kab puchoge kanjuso..

Sholey ki team ne IPL me part

Sholey ki team ne IPL me part liya,Gabbar ke bowler ne 20 Over me 150 run diye aur extra me 200 run diye
Batao kyun?. . . . .. .. . .. . . .
Kyunki wicketkeepar thakur tha

Q-Ye pyar kaise hota hai

Q-Ye pyar kaise hota hai






Ans




jb tym kharab ho,shani ki dasha kharab ho,apka mangal bhaari ho,aur bhagwan maje lene k mood me ho,tb pyar ho jata hai

tum mujjhe chhod kar chale gaye,

tum mujjhe chhod kar chale gaye,
is baat ka mujjhe gham nahi hai,
gham hai toh sirf is baat ka ,ki tum,
humse apna dil bhi chhheen kar chale gaye

Jab Yaad Meri Aye To Rukna Mat

Jab Yaad Meri Aye To Rukna Mat
“Mere Paas Laut Aana”
Jab Raat Ka Diya Bhuj Jaye
Or Kuch Saaf Nazar Na Aye
To Darna Mat
“Mere Paas Laut Aana”

Jis din aap hame bhool jayenge

Jis din aap hame bhool jayenge
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
1 0
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
Gino mat!
Sare daant tod diye jaenge !

Zindagi main SHADI Karna b Zaruri hai

Zindagi main SHADI Karna b Zaruri hai

Poucho q?

?

?

?

kyon k

Zindagi main khushyan hi sab kuch nahi hoten

Ab Shikwa Krte Ho Hm Se K Humare Lab Q Sil

Ab Shikwa Krte Ho Hm Se K Humare Lab Q Sil Gae?

Mangi Thi Tum Se Chipstick

Aur Tum Humain Elfee De Gae.
( '=' )
<))>
/! Dekh yar kameena pan.

Mangi Thi Tum Se Chipstick

Aur Tum Humain Elfee De Gae.
( '=' )
<))>
/! Dekh yar kameena pan.

Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is

Lalu to Rabri: Agar tum batao ki is bag ke andar kya hai, to sare eggs tumare, agar batao kitne eggs to 8 ke 8 tumare, aur agar tum bata do ke ande kiske hain to vo murgi bhi tumari.

Rabri: Lalu Ji, Koi hint do na?

Police: Park me aise Q baithe ho?

Police: Park me aise Q baithe ho?

Srdar: Hm dono sadi-suda hain!

Police: To Ghar me baitho

Srdar:nhi baith sakte na Q K
iska Pati or meri Biwi nhi Manegi.

kitne khush nseeb hain wo log jo

kitne khush nseeb hain wo log jo patther se pyar pa lete hain,hum to itne bdnseeb hain ki mom se bhi chot pa lete hain.

Pujari ne apni GF k kandhe pe 1st

Pujari ne apni GF k kandhe pe 1st time hath rakha aur bahut dhire se nervously bola: "I love u.!"

GF- "Zor se Bolo'

Pujari- "JAI MATA DI"

Teacher 2 GOLU -Tum Me Kuch Kamiya Hai

Teacher 2 GOLU -Tum Me Kuch Kamiya Hai.GOLU Next Day Coat Pant Pehan K Aata Hai.Teacher:What's This.?GOLU -Raymond, The Complete Man..

GIRL-dear,sunday 1st show k BALCONY

GIRL-dear,sunday 1st show k BALCONY k"CORNER"wale 2 ticket book kr k Rkhna..

BOY-Lekin"CORNER"wale ticket nai mile toH??

GIRL-TO MOVIE dekhenge...

Height of caring..

Height of caring..
Ek bar chiti hathi ke upar beth kar jaa rahi thi.Raste me kaccha pul aata hai.Usko dekh ke chiti-"Jaanu cross kar loge ya main utru?

Train me laloo ne apna trunk upar samaan

Train me laloo ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya. Neeche Mayavati baithi thi.

Mayawati: Lalooji, apna samman kahi or rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega.

Funny Lalu: Koi baat nahi behanji, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.

result aa gaya....

result aa gaya....
aisa maazak eng.. students ke saath nahi karna cahiye ...jaan leva ho sakta hai

RAVAN: cigarate hai kya

RAVAN: cigarate hai kya
HANUMAN: nahi hai
RAM: ek packet hai na
HANUMAN:chup rahiye aap prabhu uske 10 sir hai pura packet pee jayega

Girl:mai tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi

Girl:mai tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi
Boy: ma baap
Girl:Yes
Boy: khana penna
Girl: Yes
Boy: sari dunya
Girl: Yes
Boy:Star Plus
Girl: apna mou sambhal kar baat karo…!!!

santa & banta

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga

santa &banta

Banta: What's the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm?
Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain

santa & banta

Santa: I've Been Sending E-mails To William Shakespare...

Banta: William Shakespare Is Dead, Stupid...

Santa: No Wonder He Hasn't Replied As Well

Beta: baap idhar aa

Beta: baap idhar aa
Baap: beta papa ko aise nahi bolte
Beta: to kaise bolte hai
Baap: izzat se
Beta: baap izzat se idhar aa

wif: bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho

wif: bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subah ke 8 ho chuke hai.thake nahi?
husbd: abhi to kuch nahi kiya ab to din rat karuga q k.mere 1000 msg free hai.

Santa kissed his GF in park Gf: Plz ye sab shaadi se pehle Santa: Oh Soniye Don't worry I'm married

Santa kissed his GF in park

Gf: Plz ye sab shaadi se pehle

Santa: Oh Soniye Don't worry I'm married

Sardar Bunks office n goes to home. He saw his wife with his boss. He comes back running office and says, "baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daa

Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
"baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta".
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
"baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta".

santa & banta

Santa:Mujhe to aankhe band karne par b dikhayi deta hai

Banta:Acha! Kya dikhta hai?

Santa:Andhera!

Pitaji: jab bhi tu koi galti karta hai,

Pitaji: jab bhi tu koi galti karta hai,
chinta ke maare mera ek baal safed ho jata hai.
Ladka: tabhi mein sochu dadaji ke saare baal safed kyu hai.

Khan: Yar Abi Tumhara Amma Ka Khansi Kaisa

Khan: Yar Abi Tumhara Amma Ka Khansi Kaisa Hay?
Friend: Band Ho Gai Hay, Magar Sans Ruk Ruk K Aa Rahi Hay
Khan: Koi Bat Nai,Allah Kary Ga,Wo Bi Band Ho Jaye Ga

santa & banta

Santa sing ka 20 saal bad bacha hua.
Wo udas ho gaya.


Banta : Yaar udas kion ho?
Santa : 20 sal baad bacha huwa wo bhi itna sa.

santa &banta

ssanta : sholay ke waqt kitne aadmi the...








banta : mujhe kya pata shooting ke samy mai wahan nahi tha








banta : mujhe kya pata shooting ke samy mai wahan nahi tha

1st child-mere papa bhahut darpok hai.2nd child-kai

1st child-mere papa bhahut darpok hai.2nd child-kaise?ist child-jab bhi road cross karte hai meri ungli pakad lete hai.

Banta santa se-teri dukan pe mitthai

Banta santa se-teri dukan pe mitthai rakhi h tera dil isko khane ko nhi krta,santa- yaar krta to bhut h par papa marenge isliye chaat kar rakh deta hu

teacher- is muhawre ko samjhao

teacher- is muhawre ko samjhao
"kiya karaye par pani firna"


student-very simple
jese hi mene toilet ka flush chalaya, mere kiye karaye par pani fir gaya

Teacher: tum ro Q rahe ho?

Teacher: tum ro Q rahe ho?

Ladka:meri mummy mere papa ko kutta kehti h.
or papa unko BILLI,

mujhe samjh nhi aata ki main PILLA hu


ya BILLA??

1 Snta ne apni bhabi ko jan se mar diya.

1 Snta ne apni bhabi ko jan se mar diya.
Logo ne pucha k tum ne apni bhabi ko Q mara?

snta bola:

O yar mai jis-se b puchta k tum phone pe kis-se bat kr rha h to wo khta.
Teri bhabhi se.

Boy 2 grl- Apni body to dekho jaise haddiya hi haddiya Ho!

Boy 2 grl- Apni body to dekho jaise haddiya hi haddiya Ho!



Grl-isliye itni der se soch rhi hu k mere pas Kutta kyo khada h?

Ek sharabi Ka Court Mein case Chal Raha tha

Ek sharabi Ka Court Mein case Chal Raha tha.
Judge Ne Kaha
" ORDER ORDER"
Sharabi Replied..
" Ek CHILI CHICKEN,EK Qtr ROYAL STAG With SODA' Jaldi...

Sadhu-kuch daan karo Beta?

Sadhu-kuch daan karo Beta?
Santa Ne Jeb Se 5/-Nikal K De Diye
SADHU-Khush Hoke Maang Beta Kya Mangta He?

Santa-Babaji,Mere 5/-wapas De Do

Police:Khabar hai k aapke ghar me visphotak samagari ha

Police:Khabar hai k aapke ghar me visphotak samagari hai.
Santa-Sir khabar to ekdum pakki hai par Wo abhi Maike gyi H

Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho

Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.

Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?

Malkin: Nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.

santa & banta

Santa Platfrom k side leta tha
Banta-Kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-Sucite
Banta-to beach me leto
Santa-Dar lagta he...

SMS karne ke fayde

SMS karne ke fayde
1.mai bhi khush

2.jise bhejo wo bhi khush

3.yado ka silsila bana rehta hai

4.kaun KANJUS hai wo bhi pata chalta hai...!

santa comleated his MBBS &did his 1st

santa comleated his MBBS &did his 1st operation soon after finishing the patient dead
he prayed: Bhagavan mera pehla "Gift" swikar karo.

nurse-mubarak ho aapke ghar beta paida huwa hai

nurse-mubarak ho aapke ghar beta paida huwa hai
santa- wah g wah kya technology hai BV meri hospital me hai aur baccha ghar paida huwa hai.

Teacher: Batao saal me kitne mausam hote hain?

Teacher: Batao saal me kitne mausam hote hain?
Student: “Sir 4 mausam.”
Tchr: Kaun kon si?
Stdnt:”Hadtaal, Election, Imtehanaat, Hungame

Mere Paas Ghar Hai,

Mere Paas Ghar Hai,
Car Hai,
Computer Hai,
2,2 Mobile Phones Hain.

Tere Paas Kya Hai?

Maine Kaha:

Mere Paas.

.
.
.
.

Cheeni Hai. :-)

teacher- 1 saal me kitni raten hoti hai.

teacher- 1 saal me kitni raten hoti hai.
santa-10!!!!
teacher- wo kaise??
santa- 1 shivratri, aur 9 din navratri!!!!

Shivji-Bhakt main tumhari tapasaya se

Shivji-Bhakt main tumhari tapasaya se khush hua,bol tujhe kya chahiye.?
Bhakt-D.J System dedo Prabhu.
Shivji-Abe SALE D.J hota to main Damroo kyon bajata.:-D

Teacher: "dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka"

Teacher:
"dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka"

ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao.....


Student:
sania ka baccha na india ka na pak ka !

BHIKHARI:Saab, Pariwaar Se Door Ho Gaya Hu

BHIKHARI:Saab, Pariwaar Se Door Ho Gaya Hu,Milne Ke Liye 120 Rs Ki Zarurat Hai.

SETH:Kaha Hai Tera Pariwaar?




BHIKHARI:Samne PVR Me DABANG Dkh rhe..;-)

Dentist to santa Apka daant nikalna padega

Dentist to santa Apka daant nikalna padega
Santa kitne paise lagenge?Dentist 200
Santa ye lo 50 rupye thoda sa "DHEELA" kr do nikaal main khud lunga.

Height of dhoka- Student to his friend:

Height of dhoka- Student to his friend:
Yaar dhoka ho gaya. Friend:Kya hua?
Student: Yaar book ke liye paise mangwaye they,
ne book hi bhej di.

Father- Beta agar sasural waale

Father- Beta agar sasural waale
Scootar de to Car mangna,
Shop de to Ghar,
Cooler de to AC mangna.
Son- Papa agar wo Ladki de to kya uski MAA ko manglu.

RAAZ: Maine kal easy load

RAAZ: Maine kal easy load wale ko bewakoof banaya
FARAZ-Wo kese?
RAAZ- Maine usko 100 Rupey diye
or number galat likhwa diya..

One boy went to meet his girlfriendOne boy went to meet his girlfriend

One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye:D

Santa: Bahi Jaldi Jaao tumhare Ghar Mein Barsta ka Pani Ghus Gaya hai,
Banta: Kyun Jhooth Bolte Ho, Gahr Ki Chabbi to mere Pass Hai..?

santa & banta

Santa Haircutting k kitne lete ho?
Banta Barber:- Rs 30
Santa:- Shaving ke?
Banta:- Rs10
Santa:- Shave My Head

GOLU Ne A.C Lgwaya

GOLU Ne A.C Lgwaya
MOLU-Apko To Sardi Bahut Lagti He?
GOLU-Oye Mene Ulta Lgwaya He
Garam Hwa Andar Or Thndi Hawa Bahar Jati Hai

S: Premika ne aisi maang rakhi k Maine Use chhod

S: Premika ne aisi maang rakhi k Maine Use chhod diya
B: Lekin uski Mange Kya Thi
S: Shadi Ki

munna bhai: amirican rastrapati sala kaha rehta hai....? circut: dhobigath pe.... munna bhai: dhobigath bole to.....? circut: bhai eng

munna bhai: amirican rastrapati sala kaha rehta hai....?
circut: dhobigath pe....
munna bhai: dhobigath bole to.....?
circut: bhai englih main usko washington kehte hai....

JATT ka intezar to 11 colgs ki ladkiyaan

JATT ka intezar to 11 colgs ki ladkiyaan kar rahi hain lekin jatt ka aana mushkil he nahi namumkin hai, kyunki?

jatt

kank nu paani de reha hai.

Hmari dosti Tb Khtm hogi jb...

Hmari dosti Tb Khtm hogi jb...


1 ghunga 1 behre ko call kar
k btyega ki 1 andhe ne dekha
ki 1 langda bhag rha tha Ghanze
k peeche Baal katne k liye......

Tcher 2 Student: Beta Ans shee

Tcher 2 Student: Beta Ans sheet par sabse phle kya likhna chahiye.? Student: IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK HAI JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SMBANDH Nhi HAI..!

Husband gusse may:aaj tmne ye kesa

Husband gusse may:aaj tmne ye kesa khana bnaya hy?
Bilkul Gobar jesa!!

Wife: uff Mairey khudaia!! Iss Admi ne kia kia chakkha huwa hai.;-)

2 bache jungle me potty kar rahe the

2 bache jungle me potty kar rahe the
. Achanak sher aa gaya1st-chotu, tu dar raha hai?2nd-nahi, main nahi darta 1st-to saale apne dho, mere kyu dho rha hai.

BOY: Bus,train aur ladki ek jaise hote hai

BOY:
Bus,train aur ladki ek jaise hote hai

Ek jati hai to dusri aati hai

GIRL
Riksha,taxi aur ladke ek jaise hote hai

Ek ko bulate hai to 4 aate hai

3 idiots dekh ke kisne kya seekha??

3 idiots dekh ke kisne kya seekha??
Medical student :use of vaccum cleaner
MBA student:jo dil kahe wohi karo
Engineer:naak beech mein nahi aati

santa & banta

Santa-: Yaar nave surf naal apna kachha dhota si.. Sala chuttran kolo tight ho gya, hun ki kara..!! Banta-: Aida kar, ohi surf naal apne chuttar dho lai....!?!

Funny Lalu found answer to the most difficult

Funny Lalu found answer to the most difficult question ever: What came first- the chicken or the egg

What's the similarity beween Marriage & 11.59pm?

What's the similarity beween Marriage & 11.59pm?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Simple dono ke bad 12 bajte Hai...... Aur.....Din badal jate hain..!!!!!!!

Ek admi chupkay se jahanum se nikala aur jannat main chala gaya. Frishtay ne pakar kar khob mara. Maar khanay k baad admi utha, kapray jharray aur

Ek admi chupkay se jahanum se nikala aur jannat main
chala gaya. Frishtay ne pakar kar khob mara.
Maar khanay k baad admi utha, kapray jharray aur bola:
Tumhari in he harkaton ki wajha se koi jannat main nahi ata.

A woman at an embroidery shop: yahan gale milte hain?

A woman at an embroidery shop: yahan gale milte hain?
Sales man: milte to nahi hain magar aap kahte hain to mil lete hain:

ek pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar le gaye,

ek pathan ki behan ko daku utha kar le gaye,
sab ne kaha daku khatarnak hain khali haath mat jana
behan ko bachane.
Pathan 2 kilo mithayi le gaya. p

T.T: Bachy ka Tckt Half nai pora hoga,

T.T: Bachy ka Tckt Half nai pora hoga, iske Umer 12 se zeada hai.
Baap Ghusse Se: Iske umer 12 se zeada kese hoskte hai? 12 sal to meri shadi ko hue hain.
T.T: Me yahan ticket chk Krne Aaya hun,
Gunahon ka Aiteraf Sunne nai.

Interesting But True Facts About Marriage:

Interesting But True Facts About Marriage:
Q. Kya Shadi Jannat ka Darwaza hai?
A. Ji Han! Magar Bahir Jany ka.
Q. Insan Apni bewuqufi Par Kab Khush Hota hai?
A. Shadi k Din.
Q. Kya Zabani Larrai main Aurat se Koi Jeet Sakta hai?
A. Ji Han! Dusri Aurat.
Q. Talaq ki Sab se Barri Wajah kya hai?
A. Shadi.

Ek Aadmi Raat ko apne ghar gaya.

Ek Aadmi Raat ko apne ghar gaya.
Darwaza knock kia.
Biwi: Kon?
Admi: Guddu ka Abbu!
Biwi: Haye main Marr Jaawan,
Phir Andar kon hai?

Ek jatt jungle me se ja raha tha itne me ek bhutni acnak

Ek jatt jungle me se ja raha tha itne me ek bhutni acnak aa gayi aur boli-ha ha he he ho ho hey hey me chudail hu,jatt-re bawli dekhti kya h chipat ja

SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA..

SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA.. PLANE RUNWAY PER DOR RAHA THA.. SANTA NE PILOT KO THAPPAD MARA OR BOLA.. ABE SALE DEER HO RAHI HAI OR TU BY ROAD JA RAHA HAI....

boss 2 employee tumne iss sal mehnat se

boss 2 employee tumne iss sal mehnat se kam kiya h y lo 5000 rs ka cheque,
agar isi tarah kam karte rahoge to sign b kar dunga

Govt. School k Bachhe Kisi ko Ghaseet k School le ja rhe the

Govt. School k Bachhe Kisi ko Ghaseet k School le ja rhe the
Ye dekh 1Aadmi bola:Jane do Beta,Ye Khud School aa jyga.
Bachhe:Ye Bachha Nai Master Hai ;-)

Santa goes for railway reservation

Santa goes for railway reservation
Santa: Mera AC chair car ka reservation kar dena
Railwayman: Seat nahi hai
Santa: Aap reservation kare seat ki chinta na kare, ek kursi me ghar se le lunga.

1 ladki COKE pi rahi thi,

1 ladki COKE pi rahi thi,
achanak usme se 1 Machar nikla or bola "MAA"

Ladki-Me teri maa nhi hu.
Machar- Aisa na bol maa me teri COKE se nikla hu.

Jewllery shop me 1 Aadmi Ki

Jewllery shop me 1 Aadmi Ki Zabardast Pitayi Ho Gai Pucho Kyon???
Usne Sales Girl se Kaha Aapki EK EK Item Mast Hai.
Aaj SONE Ka Kya Bhav Hai???

Girl: Iss blue pen ki kia price hai?

Girl: Iss blue pen ki kia price hai?
Dukandar: Rs.700 Girl: uff! Aur goldon ki?
Dukandar: 2 baar uff uff. .

Ek Sharabi let kar gane ga rha tha

Ek Sharabi let kar gane ga rha tha

5-6 gane ga kar wo ulta let kar gane lga

Dusra shrabi yar ulta let kr kyo gane lga

Srabi: Pehle A side thi ab B side hai.

santa- soch raha huin ki usa ghum aauin

santa- soch raha huin ki usa ghum aauin, kitane paise lagenge.
banta- kuch bhi nahi
santa- wo kaise?
banta- sochane ke paise nahi lagate.

Beggar: Beta ek rupaya de, khana khaunga.

Beggar: Beta ek rupaya de, khana khaunga.
BOY: Ek kya take Rs. 5 but tell me,
itna sasta khana mil kahan raha hai? Saath chalenge.

Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal

Maalik: arey, tune 500 saal puraani ghadi thod dee hai.
naukar: bach gaya saab, main to samjha yeh nayaa hai

Santa: agar electricity nahi hota to kya hota?

Santa: agar electricity nahi hota to kya hota?
Banta: raat mein candle light mein TV dekhna padta tha

Sharabi ko Daru peta dekh American bol

Sharabi ko Daru peta dekh American bola-Pani to mila lo
Sharabi-Hum Indian hai itna pani to daru ko dekh ke he muh me aa jata he

Gabbar-Ye Hath Hum Ko De De Thakur,

Gabbar-Ye Hath Hum Ko De De Thakur,
Thakur-Nahi Yaar Gabbar,

Me Dil Ka Mariz Hu,

Agar Tune Mere Hath Kaat Diye To Mai B.P Kese Check Karwaunga..

A Cute Proposal

A Cute Proposal:
Boy-I Love U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I'll Die For U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I Cant Live Without U
Girl-hattt
Boy-I'll Marry U
Girl - Really!
Boy- huttt.....

Santa ki Beti : "Papa kal Ghar me se 1 Member kam ho jayega."

Santa ki Beti : "Papa kal Ghar me se 1 Member kam ho jayega."
Nxt Day Santa ki Beti bhag gayi.
Santa : "Ladki ne kaam to Galat kiya lekin thi wo Jyotishi.&

A molvi went to Zardari home and said: Qaum ko tang mat karo warna Allah ka azaab aye ga.

A molvi went to Zardari home and said: Qaum ko tang mat karo warna Allah ka azaab aye ga.
Zardari: Tang to Musharraf kar raha tha, Main to azaab hon.

Constabl-Sir,kal rat kaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan ki thi

Constabl-Sir,kal rat kaidiyo ne jail me Ramayan ki thi Jailor-to isme itne pareshan Q ho
Const-Sir,Hanuman bana kaidi abhi tak sanjiwni lekar wapas nahi aaya.Hi

santa & banta

Santa radio lekar potty karne gaya
Banta: kaise rahi dost ?
santa: saale ain waqt pe VANDE MATRAM bajne laga..khade khade hi nipatana pada..

Banta dairy likh raha tha

Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me mama banunga ya mami"

Mobile Ko Ejaad Karne Wale Ka Sapna Tha K Dunya Me . . .

Mobile Ko Ejaad Karne Wale Ka Sapna Tha K Dunya Me
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

FAQEER oR BHIKARI K Hath Men B Mobile Ho

MUBARAK HO

Aap Ny uska Sapna Such Kar Dikhaya.

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?
santa : ji meri biwi.
interviewer : aur sab se bdi kamzori?
santa : ji dusre ki BIWI.

Constable-Sir,

Constable-Sir,

Humne sharab se bhara hua ek truck pakad liya hai.


Chulbul Pande-Usse kyaa hoga,
Ek truck sode ka aur ek namkeen ka bhi pakdo.

Santa- Aapka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai.!Kya khilate ho isey?

Santa- Aapka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai.!Kya khilate ho isey?

Banta-wo sher hi hai,saala PYAR-VYAR k chkkar me padke kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai..!

Mom: My dear son, why your Wife sitting so silent..?

Mom: My dear son, why your Wife sitting so silent..?

SON: Nothing mom, she asked lipstick, but i gave fevistick that's all.
No chip chip
no chik chik:-)

Snta & Bnta moving on road at 12midnight

Snta & Bnta moving on road at 12midnight

Snta:Bahut garmi he yaar

Bnta:HA yaar
Din hota to kahi chhao me baith jate.

Apni Naraz GF ko manane k bad Ladka Pyar se bola:

Apni Naraz GF ko manane k bad Ladka Pyar se bola:
Jaan,kaho to Tumhare liye chand tare tod lau

Ladki halki c Muskurai OR boli
Phir Haramipan Shuru.

Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye h

Santa- kal meri shadi hai aur ladki walo ne kam log bulaye hai.

Banta- to isme prob kya hai?

Santa-pata nhi papa mujhe le jaynge ya nahi

GF-Mai Kisi Or Se shadi kar rahi hu

GF-Mai Kisi Or Se shadi kar rahi hu
Muje Bhul Jao
BF-Na Tere Aane ki khushi
Na tere jane ka Gum
Ja Behan Ja Aj Se Tera Kissa Bhi Khatam.

SANTA ka school me 7th class me new admision huwa.

SANTA ka school me 7th class me new admision huwa.
Teacher-Batao Sachin Tendulkar kon hai ?
SANTA-Humko kya pata mai To school me naya hun

Ramu apne 16 bachho or biwi

Ramu apne 16 bachho or biwi
k sath dost k ghar lunch pe
gaya.
Dost ne itni badi family dekh
kar gusse mein kaha: Lajja
nahi aayee. Ramu: Nahi uska exam hai …!

JUDGE to Santa, Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he

JUDGE to Santa, Tumhara jurm sabit ho chuka he,
kal tumhe Fansi pe chdhaya jayega.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa: Wo to thik he,lekin utara kab jayega . . .

Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?

Q:Ladkiya Kabi Khud Pyar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nhi Krti?
Intresting Jawab:

Taki Break-up Krte Waqt Ye Keh Sake Ki Tum Mere Piche Pade The,Mai Nai. .

1 Knjus hath me Blade se cut maar rha tha

1 Knjus hath me Blade se cut maar rha tha
Wife-ye kya kr rhe ho?
Knjus-DETOL ki shishi foot gayi h
Aise hi thodi waste hone denge,La teri b ungli katu.

Santa- Doctor saab 1

Santa- Doctor saab 1 pareshani hain ki main jab bhi nahata hoon geela ho jata hu!
Doctor - kal se nahate samay nal band kar liya karo.

Ek Chor Ne Apni Bibi Ko Sone Ka MAHENGA Set Diya

Ek Chor Ne Apni Bibi Ko Sone Ka MAHENGA Set Diya.
Bibi Khush Hoke BOLI-Janu IsKi Kimat Kya hai?
Chor:3 Saal Ki Qaid !

Boy- I love u

Boy- I love u
Ladki-tameez se baat karo.
Boy-Om manglam bhagwan vishnu with due respect I BEG TO SAY THAT "I LOVE U"
DEVI JI !...

Tcher-agar ek diwar banane me 10000

Tcher-agar ek diwar banane me 10000 ka kharch ata h to 2 diwar banane me kitna ayega?

Stu-10 Crore

Teach-nalayak kya nam hai tere baap ka?
Stu-Suresh kalmadi

IK LARKA LARKI SE : KABHI BHI KISI KO

IK LARKA LARKI SE : KABHI BHI KISI KO PATANA HO TO USE KHUD SE DUR HI RAKHANA..
LARKI: ISI LIA TO TUMHAI KHUD SE DUR NAHI JANE DETI..............

Girl-Mujhe Apni Heere ki Ring De Do

Girl-Mujhe Apni Heere ki Ring De Do,
ME Ring Ko Dekh K Tumhe Yad kia Krugi
Boy- Tum ye Soch k Yaad Karna ki Kamine se Ring Mangi Thi Or Usne Nhi Di

Teacher to Pathan: 10 Fruits k Naam Batao

Teacher to Pathan: 10 Fruits k Naam Batao?





Pathan:

5 Amrood
5 Aanar. :-)

Teacher-bina daant k 2 jaanwaro ka naam bataao.

Teacher-bina daant k 2 jaanwaro ka naam bataao.
GOLU-Sir , Dada aur Dadi. . .

Grlfrnd - mera dil mobile hai or tum SIM ho

Grlfrnd - mera dil mobile hai or tum SIM ho
Boyfrnd - O very good I am very happy!
Girlfrnd - zyada khush mat ho naya offer milte hi me SIM change kar deti hu.

Grl:Agr Mujse Shadi Krni Hai

Grl:Agr Mujse Shadi Krni Hai To Tume Hr Hafte Mumi Ko 10kg Atta aur Papa Ki Car Me 20 litre Petrol Dlwana Hoga.Boy:Acha BEHAN chalta hu Ami-Abu Ko Salam Kehna.

1 Chuha sharab ke drum me gira.

1 Chuha sharab ke drum me gira.
Nikal ke mast ho kr soyi hui billi k muh pe laat maar k bola.
"Uth Munni
aaj ye chulbul tera mujra dekhne aaya he

Larki ke Gaal Pe Gulab maarne par Responses

Larki ke Gaal Pe Gulab maarne par Responses

English Girl:you are too Naughty sweet heart!

Urdu Girl: Nahin karo na!

Punjabi Girl: Lakh laanat begairta...

Pathan Kone Me Chup K Mobile Pe Kisi Se

Pathan Kone Me Chup K Mobile Pe Kisi Se
Ahista Se Bat Kr raha Tha



Aadmi: Khan Sahab Larki Se Baten Kr rahe Ho

Pathan: Khuda Ka Qasam Larki Nahi Mangetar Hai.

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.


Naukar- Galti Ho Gai Malik.
Lagta Hai Maine Aapko Aapni Roti De Di Hai

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya


Ye sb kya he?



AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli Dard Bataa Rahe They

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli Dard Bataa Rahe They, Lekin Tumhari Toh Dhadkan Bhi Kaafi Badhi Huee Hai
Sonu- Woh Toh Aapki Fees Dekh kar Badhi Hai.

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya


Ye sb kya he?



AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!

Sir 2 me :Padai karo varna koi tumhe job nai dega

Sir 2 me :Padai karo varna koi tumhe job nai dega



Me 2 sir :Padai wo log krte h jise job chahiye ham to job dene walo me se hai

Teacher- Batao banjar kise kehte hai

Teacher- Batao banjar kise kehte hai GOLU- sir jis par hariyali na ho
Teacher- bahut khub kisi banjar jagaha ka example do
GOLU- Ji aapka sir

GOLU:Dehaat se aye ek admi ko

GOLU:Dehaat se aye ek admi ko english ke sirf do words aate the,
phir b usne shehar ja ke lakho rupye kamaye.
MOLU: Kaunse words
GOLU: HANDS UP

Knjus-Ek Or Ice-cream Khaoge

Knjus-Ek Or Ice-cream Khaoge
Beta:Pr apne 1 icecream b nai dilai ab tk
Bap:Bhool Gye jab hum pichle sal yaha aye tha to 1 icecream nai khai thi

1 gav me nadi pe bridge banaya Gya

1 gav me nadi pe bridge banaya Gya
People:bahut accha ho Gya
GOLU: ha ji pehle dhup me tair ke nadi paar krte the ab Chav me tair ke par krenge

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Mulzim:QK Unho Ne Kaha Tha K Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
K Thanda Ho Jau Maine Zehar Daal Kar De Diya

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H
"@@@@@@@"

Student: Mere Pitaji Ka.?

Tchr:Aisa Kaise?

Student:Ji,Wo "JALEBI" Bechte Hai..Hath Aise Hi Chalte Hai

His Sicilian wife Gina

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'
His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my first guess."

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se: Ghar ka rashan khatam ho Gya hai jaldi se le k aaye
Chor: Le aaouga aisi b kya jaldi he zara dukane To band hone do

Q: Ladkiyan Kabhi Khud Pyhar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nahi Karti?

Q: Ladkiyan Kabhi Khud Pyhar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nahi Karti?

Intresting Jawab.

Taki Break-up Karte Waqt Ye Keh Sake Ki Tum Mere Pichhe Pade The
Main Nahi.

Judge-Fasi Se Pehle Kisse Milna Chahoge

Judge-Fasi Se Pehle Kisse Milna Chahoge

Sonu-Biwi Se

J-Ma Bap Se Nai

S-Wo To Agla Janam Hote Mil Jaenge..

..Biwi K Lie 21Yr Intzar Krna Pdega

Santa-Aaj breakfast kya kiya?

Santa-Aaj breakfast kya kiya?
banta -Sandwiches
Santa -Jhooth Muli ke parathe khaye h na?
Banta -How do u know?
santa-Lips Can Lie But Hips Don't Lie!

Judge- Tumne Samaaj K Liye Kaun Sa Bhala Kaam Kiya Hai

Judge- Tumne Samaaj K Liye Kaun Sa Bhala Kaam Kiya Hai

Mujrim- Saab, Humare Karan Hi Police Aur Adalat Me Lakho Logo Ko Naukri Mili Hui Hai

2lady ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kr rahi thi

2lady ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kr rahi thi

Achanak 1aam gira
1lady-ye aam kese gira

Aam bola-

PAK GAYA HU TUMHARI BAATE SUN-SUN KE

Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne

Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne Di or kha Bahar jake Na khna k maine nakal krai h
GOLU-na g hum kahenge sir to bhut harami tha,kutte ne hilne b nhi Dia

girl (pyar se): tum muze bhulna ma

girl (pyar se): tum muze bhulna mat.
boy: are tum jaisi panoti ko bhulega bhi kaun!

Ek baar ek pagal bidi bina jali bidi

Ek baar ek pagal bidi bina jali bidi
pee raha tha
Dusra Pagal : Yaar bidi se koi dhuan
nhi nikal raha hai?
Pagal : Kar di na phir paglon wali baat,
Yeh “CNG” bidi hai...!!!

Lucky Jha

Aman : Yar chaman, sir ka msg aaya hai

Aman : Yar chaman, sir ka msg aaya hai
ki aaj extra class hogi, kya karoon ?
Chaman : “Message sending fail” likh ke
bhej de...!!!

Ek baccha mummy se pitne ke baad apne papa se

Ek baccha mummy se pitne ke baad apne papa se :
Papa kabhi aap Africa gaye ho ?
.
.
.
Papa: nhi beta ..
.
.
.
Baccha: fir itni khofnak item kahan se le aaye...!!!

G:Maine Aisa Mashroob Banaya He

G:Maine Aisa Mashroob Banaya He
Jise Pete Hi Insan Such Bolne Lgta He Pi Kr Dkho
M:Aakh Thoo,Ye To Tail H
G:Dekha Such Bola,Ye Waqai Tail H

MALLIKA KO AIRPORT PE CUSTAM

MALLIKA KO AIRPORT PE CUSTAM WALO NE PAKAD K PUCHA IS TIFIN BOX MAI KYA HAI. . . MALIKA GUSSE SE, -KAMINO YE MERA SUTCASE HAI . . . . .

Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.

Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..

Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..

Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?

Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run Baki The Or mai Out Ho Gaya.

Banta:shit Yaar so close.. ;-)

Bivi ne pati ke gale main

Bivi ne pati ke gale main bahein dalker kaha- Kaisi lag rahi hun main?
pati- bulkul vaisi jaise bhagwan shanker ke gale me nagin latkati ho....

Suhag raat me santa cnfuse

Suhag raat me santa cnfuse ho gya ki nayi biwi se kya bolu..?
Akhir me bola- aapke ghrwalon ko malum hai, ki aap yahan mere saath ho?

Bunty film dekhne jane se pehle

Bunty film dekhne jane se pehle apni biwi ko 1 paan kharid kar deta he.Biwi: Apne liye b kharidlo.
Bunty:Mai paan ke bina b chup rehsakta hu

Teacher Asked Pappu

Teacher Asked Pappu: Jab Larki Ki Age 18 Saal Se Uper Ho Jaye To Usay Kis Cheez Ki Zarurat Hoti Hai? Pappu: Shanakhti Card(N.I.C) Ki. Ap B Apni Zehniyat Pappu Ki Tarah Saaf Rakhen.

Two Frogs Sitting Together 1St Frog

Two Frogs Sitting Together 1St Frog: Trrrrr 2nd Frog: Trrrr 1st Frog:Trrrr 2nd Frog:Trrrr 1st Frog: Taratrrr 2nd Frog: Yar Topic Change Na Kar...

Mouse To Elephant

Mouse To Elephant: 2 Din K Liye Apni Kameez Dena. Elephant: "Ha....Ha....Ha..... Pehney Ga Kya ??" Mouse: Nahe,Beti Ki Shadi Hay, Tent Lagwana Hay..

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

Aman and wife waiting

Aman and wife waiting
for train itne mein PUNJAB MAIL
aayi Aman bhag kar train mein
chad gaya or wife ko bola…
.
.
.
Jab PUNJAB FEMALE aaye
to tu bhi aa jana...!!!

Bhikari Pathan Sy!

Bhikari Pathan Sy!
Mujhy Khaany Ko Kuch Mill Sakta Hai.

Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha Lo Gy?
bhikari: G Han Bilkul.

Pathan: Acha To Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana... ;->

Mein Ne Socha Tum Miss Kar Rahe Hoge,

Larki:
Mein Ne Socha Tum Miss Kar Rahe Hoge,
Call Karlun.

Larka: Acha Aur Jo Aik Ghante Pehle Ki Thi Woh?



Larki: Ooh Sh!t...




Sorry Ghalti Se Dubara Tumhara Number Mila Diya. :

Control yourself

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

I made it alright.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Take my card

Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

Santa Singh at KBC

Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.
Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…
Amitabh Bachchan : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…
Santa Singh gets Tense…

Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan? Your options are…

Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He's quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]
But Santa is surprisingly still confused…

Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.
Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.
Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?
Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…
Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…
Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:

Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…
Santa Singh : I would like to use my last life line too – Phone A Friend…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??
Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…
Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan [Thanks to AirTel ]…
Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?”
receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..

GUESS WHY????????? ??
Scroll Down
|
|
|
|
V
|
|
|
|
V
Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?”

થાંભલો તાજો રંગેલો છે, અડકવું નહિ

એક ભાઈએ દૂરથી એક બોર્ડ થાંભલા પર ઊંચે લગાડેલું જોયું. તે પાસે ગયા, પરંતુ એ બોર્ડ પર લેખેલા અક્ષરો બહુ નાના હતા એટલે એમને બરાબર વંચાયું નહીં. છેવટે બોર્ડ વાંચવા એ ભાઈ થાંભલે ચઢી ગયા! ઉપર ચઢીને એમણે જોયું તો બોર્ડમાં એવું લખેલું કે ‘થાંભલો તાજો રંગેલો છે, અડકવું નહિ.’

તું મોટી થઈશ ત્યારે મને પરણીશ ?

દસ વરસના મનુએ તેની મિત્ર આનલને પૂછ્યું, ‘તું મોટી થઈશ ત્યારે મને પરણીશ ?’
આનલે કહ્યું : ‘અમારા કુટુંબમાં અમે અમારા ઘરના લોકો સાથે જ પરણીએ છીએ. જો ને મારા કાકા કાકીને જ પરણ્યા છે. મારા મામા મારી મામીને અને મારા માસા મારી માસીને પરણ્યા છે. આમ અમે અમારા સગાને જ પરણીએ છીએ.’

What 'which part'?

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

Police Inspector : Have you caught the thief?
Sharef : No, but I found some trace of him.

Police Inspector : What?
Sharef : Finger prints.

Police Inspector : Where?
Sharef : On my cheeks.

For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.

Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.

Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself."

And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

Shehzada Saleem: Main apnay maa baap ka iklota bea hoon wo sari raat mujhey loryan sunatay thay agar main nahi sota tha. Wazeer: Ishi liya to ap ikloty reh gye…

God made us body parts for a reason.
Eyes : to look at you
Hands : to pray for you
Mind : to remember you
Heart : to miss you
and…
Legs : to kick you if u ever forget me!!

wakeel: my lord kanoon ki kitaab ke saffha number 15 ke mutabiq mere muakkal ko ba izzat-bari kia jaye.
JUDGE: kitaab paish ki jaye
(kitab pesh ki gaye)
judge ny saffa khola to uss mei 5000, 5000 k do note thay.
JUDGE: is tarah k do saboot aur pesh kiye jayein.

One day an Angel tested me… He erased all my memory and asked: “Do you remember any 1 now?” I told your name, Angel smiled and said: Some viruses can’t be removed!

Ek lerki thi dewani si, Inter mein wo parhti thi…! Chashma laga ker, kitabin uhta ker, Library say guzrati thi… Kuch parhna tha shayed us ko, fail hony say wo darti thi… Jab milti thi mujh say, bus yahi pocha kerti thi: Yeh inter kaisy hota hai… Yeh inter kaisy hota hai…? Or mein sirf yahi keh pata tha: Kitabin khuli hon ya hon bund, perhna akhri raat hi hota hai, Kesa kahun main Oh yara ya inter kehsa hota hai… Dedicated to all Inter Buddie

Doctor: Bache ko paani dene say pehla ubaal lena chahiye! Pathan: Woh to theek hai par… Ubalne say bacha mar to nahi jaye ga?

Shehzada Saleem: Main apnay maa baap ka iklota bea hoon wo sari raat mujhey loryan sunatay thay agar main nahi sota tha. Wazeer: Ishi liya to ap ikloty reh gye…

Jab dekho to dil karta hai pakar lo, Jab pakar lo to dil karta hai daba dun, Jab daba du to dil karta hai choos lo… Kyun kia! Saal mein ek bar aata hai Mango…

Apni Zindagi mein tou faqat andhairay hi hain faraz, Woh aur loog hain jinhon nay U.P.S. lagwaye huey hain!

True Baygarti Is! To arrive home late at night, Cigarette in hand, Mom waiting for you with a Jharoo in her hand and you ask: Hay mom abhi tak safai kar rahi ho?

Teacher: What are the Similarities Among Quaid E Azam, Allama Iqbal, Sir Syed and Liaqat Ali Khan? Student: Thy all born and died on government holidays!

Jo tumko ho pasand wohi baat kahenge,
Tum din ko ager raat kaho! Raat kahenge,
Saraj ko agar chand kaho! Chand kahenge,
Kyun Kia, Pagalon say panga is not Changa!

Mere mobile main khud kush bomb dhamaka hogya hay
22 SMS moqay par halak hogaye
45 SMS shadeed zakhmi hoye
30 SMS lapata or
8 ne inbox main dam tor diya
APnay SMS k atiyaat isi number par jald behjen
Shukria!

1 Faqeer Bachi Se:
ALLAH k Naam Per De Beta
Bachi: Mai Beta Nahi Beti Hon.
Faqeer: ALLAH k Naam Pe De Beti.
Bachi: Mera Naam Nusrat Hai.
Faqeer: ALLAH K Naam Per De Nusrat.
Bachi: Mera Pora Naam Nusrat Parveen Hai.
Faker: ALLAH k Naam Per De Nusrat Parveen.
Bachi: Ye Hui Na Baat.
“Muaf Karo Baba”

Zindagi k KATHAN Or DUSHWAR Raaston Pe Kon Aapka Saath NIBHATA hai?
?
Aapka Dost?
?
Ya Phir Aapka hamsafar?
?
G Nahi. Sirf Or Sirf
Aapki “CHAPPAL”.

Mere kandhe pe Ser Rakh ker…
Usne Pucha ke kab Tak Apne Kandhe Pe Sone doge…
Maine Hanste howe kaha jab Tak
Log Mujhe kandhon Pe Na uthayen….

Newton’s 4th law ki shandar kamyabi ke bad
“Newton’s 5th law”:
If you move around a tree with the double speed of light,
You Can Kick Your Own Hips

Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mehal k
Her Khirki,
Her Deewar,
Her Meenar,
Her Cheez ko Dekha,
Aur Kaha
Maa Qasam,
Sab Filmi Hai.

An unmarried girl’s request:
Is msg ko itna phela den ke
Ye hamare hone waley HUSBAND tak pohanch jaye…
“Kahan hein ap?
Kab ayein gey?
Apni ammi ko jaldi bhejein.
Mein ne aur nahi parhna.”:-(

Ghalib ne girlfriend ko date per bulaya wo late aayi,
Girl: Am I late ?
Ghalib:
Falak pey chand sitaron ko neend aarahi hai,
Doosri ka time ho gaya hai, tu ab aa rahi hai.

Larka college me frst day ek larki se:
Hi,ap ka naam?
Larki :gussay se) muje sab Behen kehtay hen.
Larka:bari khushi hui apse mil k,mjhe sub Behnoi kehte hen:-)

God made us body parts for a reason.
Eyes : to look at you
Hands : to pray for you
Mind : to remember you
Heart : to miss you
and…
Legs : to kick you if u ever forget me!!

wakeel: my lord kanoon ki kitaab ke saffha number 15 ke mutabiq mere muakkal ko ba izzat-bari kia jaye.
JUDGE: kitaab paish ki jaye
(kitab pesh ki gaye)
judge ny saffa khola to uss mei 5000, 5000 k do note thay.
JUDGE: is tarah k do saboot aur pesh kiye jayein.