A judge irritated by a lawyer's behaviou

A judge irritated by a lawyer's behaviour, admonished him,
"You are crossing the limits."

"Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai," roared the lawyer.

"How dare you call me saala ? I'll have you charged for
'contempt of court'," said the judge angrily.

"My lord misunderstood me," replied the lawyer coolly, "I do not
call you saala, all I said was kaun sa law aisa kehta hai...

A 60 years old bachelor advertises his

A 60 years old bachelor advertises his Zaoorat-e-rishta
after a month he got a letter
"mian sahib" iss umar mein RISHTA nahi FARISHTAY aata hein.

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar।The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar !"

What is the Similarity Between

What is the Similarity Between a Dianasour and an Intelligent Girl?

Dono ab iss Duniya Mein Nahi Rahe..!!

A Britisher came to India to travel

A Britisher came to India to travel across the country and after travelling though out India, one day he asked a Desi person...

British : Why you Indian are different colours,we British are all same colour White

Desi : Sir,have you seen horses,they are different in colours but all Donkeys are same in colours.

Bholaji goes to a Udipi hotel to have

Bholaji goes to a Udipi hotel to have something to eat. He orders for Masala Dosa. The waiter promptly gets him the dish but is surprised to see that Bhola eats only the masala leaving the dosa behind.

Bhola then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again this time the waiter notices that Bhola eats only the filling and not the shell. ; Waiter is very curious. Bhola next orders for Batata Vada. This time around also Bhola eats only the filling and leaves the shell behind. Waiter is losing his patience and walking upto Bhola asks him, "Bholaji, aap dish ke under ka hi cheez kyon khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?"

Bhola says,"Arre bhaiyya, aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye doctor ne kaha ki baahar ki cheez mat khaya karo..."

Two brothers open shops in front

Two brothers open shops in front of each other. One of them gets good business from the beginning the other remains to sit idle. He though to contact the other, he went to his shop.
Tum ne kia kia k aap ka business acha chalta hai.
He replied Maa ki Duaa.
The other replied in anger shutup pahlay toon dawa.

If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;

If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;
these could be the caption in Newspapers:

Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
English Babu Desi Mem.
Brain marries Beauty!?
Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe....!?
Ooo Windows mein Bill hai mera...
The next version of Windows will be "Windows MD."
Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.
Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual honeymoon.
Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN..
Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain
Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera...
Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...
Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... !

Dear meri dil ki Katori,

Dear meri dil ki Katori,

Mai kya ji, it was ji very well since the time I put my eyes on you at

babli's wedding. The parrots flew out of my hands, when u turned like

a truck on a blind curve and smiled at me.

Now I see ur face everywhere, even in my chicken-curry. The butter

chicken reminds me your sweet voice. Mai kya ji, would you be the

butter on my naan and the chicken in my curry of life....!!!!

Koi gal nahi, take ur time but don't put the foot on the Brakes of my

love ji. What to do, I to have started thinking about Shaadi-Vaadi.

Karao maat wait, say yes for a date!

Bale Balle......

The phone rings at Punjab Police headquaters.

The phone rings at Punjab Police headquaters. They answer : "Hello?"
"Hello, Is that the Punjab Police?"
"Yes. What do you want?'
"I'm calling to report my neighbour Santa Singh as an enemy of the
state. He is hiding diamonds in his firewood."
"This will be noted."
Next day, the Punjab Police goons come over to Santa Singh's house.They search the shed where the firewood is kept,break every piece of wood,find no diamonds,swear at Santa Singh and leave.
The phone rings at Santa Singh's house. He answers,"Hello."
"Hello Santa! Did the Punjab Police come?"
"Did they chop your firewood?'
"Yes they did."
"O.K., now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"

Man: Oye, mai kal English film

Man: Oye, mai kal English film de cassette le gaya tha, voh kharab hai, kuch dikhai-sunai nahi deta.
Cassete wala: kya nam hai film ka?
Man: HEAD CLEANER.

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a Jatt joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm Jatt. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is Jatt. The bouncer is Jatt. The man sitting over to your left is also a Jatt. Still wanna tell that Jatt joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a Jatt joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm Jatt. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is Jatt. The bouncer is Jatt. The man sitting over to your left is also a Jatt. Still wanna tell that Jatt joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

A blind man walks into a bar,

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a Jatt joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm Jatt. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is Jatt. The bouncer is Jatt. The man sitting over to your left is also a Jatt. Still wanna tell that Jatt joke?"

The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."

In a very small village, a man goes

In a very small village, a man goes to the village optician and tells him that he sees everything very small. The optician had only one hypermetric glasses left with him till he gets the new stock. Optician says please use them as much as you can. Anyway the man goes out of his shop and there is a fruit store. He indicates to the fresh fruits on a tray and asks " Eh naram je kharbooje da ki bha hai?
Fruit seller says"(e kharbooje nai angoor ne Bauji"

A Jatt is travelling in a DTC bus in Delhi.

A Jatt is travelling in a DTC bus in Delhi. It's a busy day and our Jatt is roughing it out, standing up in the aisle and all. In his
right hand is his briefcase (which appears to contain some valuables), with his left he is grabbing on to the railing for dear life.

The conductor approaches him for a ticket. The Jatt who doesn't have a free hand to pull out his wallet gives the conductor a helpless look. The conductor reaches out for the jatt's briefcase in an effort to help him out.

"nahin! tum upar pakdo" says the Jatt clutching onto his briefcase

She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.

She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears.

Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.

He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *AGAIN* barefeet!"

A dipper and a gora are sitting beside each

A dipper and a gora are sitting beside each other on a plane. It was a long flight to India so the gora said:"Let's play a game." The dipper said sure. The gora said let's play I spy. The dipper said sure. The gora started. He said I spy with my little eye something black. The dipper said suitcase? He was right. Then he said I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter B. The gora looked hard for about ten minutes. Then finally he gave up .He said what was it. The dipper said look stupid gora "bindow"!

One sardarji professor asked a plumber

One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college.

U know Why?

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...