ragging ke waqt ladko ne 1 ladki

ragging ke waqt ladko ne 1 ladki se kaha,1 sawal ka jawab do-patna kahan par hai?
ladki-bihar mein
boys-yahin pat jao itne dur jaane ki kya jarurat hai....!

teacher ne bachhe ki copy par note

teacher ne bachhe ki copy par note likha kripya bachhe ko nahalakar bheja kare.
bachhe ki mom ne note padne ke bad likha kar bheja bachhe ko padaya kare sungha na kare

father-beta tumne college me sabse

father-beta tumne college me sabse mushkil kaam koun sa sikha?
beta-2 kaam sikhe.
1 danto se bear ki bottal kholna.
2 tez aandi me 1 tilli se cigerete jalana

sonu-yaar,maine gf ko sms

sonu-yaar,maine gf ko sms kiya ki main raat ko aaunga...raat me geya to wo kisi aur k sath thi
monu man chota mat kar yaar msg nhi mila hoga

Sharma dial a no. & hear

Sharma dial a no. & hear, iss call ke liye aapka balance kafi nahi hai."


sharma: koi baat nahi jaane man tumse baat ho gai bas itna hi kafi hai.

Teacher:me ksi pe 1 nazar dal k

Teacher:me ksi pe 1 nazar dal k bta skte hun k wo mere bare mai kya soch rha he
Student:mis jb ap ko pata chal jata hoga to bari sharmindagi hoti hogi na.

Hmari dosti Tb Khtm hogi jb...

Hmari dosti Tb Khtm hogi jb...


1 ghunga 1 behre ko call kar
k btyega ki 1 andhe ne dekha
ki 1 langda bhag rha tha Ghanze
k peeche Baal katne k liye......

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene ke liye kia sharayat lazmi hoti hain ? Wakil Bola “Talak lene ke liye aap ko shadi shuda hona zarori hai”

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha

Santa ka baap UK se aya,usne pucha teri

Santa ka baap UK se aya,usne pucha teri ma kaha ha santa bola wo to mar gai
bap bola saale tune mujhe bataya kyu ni
santa:

Maa: Beta ya Kar Rahe Ho??

Maa: Beta ya Kar Rahe Ho??
Beta: Padh Raha Hoon.
Maa: Shabash! Kya Padh Rahe Ho??
Beta: Ji, Film Shole Ki Story..

7-chatai par 7-sadhu bethe the,

7-chatai par 7-sadhu bethe the,
1 Aadmi ne sbse bade sadhu se
pucha-"Baba Ladkiya line nhi
deti ky karu?
Sadhu(chote sadhu se )- 1 chatai
aur laga bhai ke liye.

Teacher: Ek Saal Main Kitni Raatain Hoti Hai?

Teacher: Ek Saal Main Kitni Raatain Hoti Hai?
Aman :10 Raatain Hoti Hai!
Teacher: 10 Raatain Kaise ?
Aman: 9 Navaratri Aur 1 Shivratri….

H A P P Y . . N E . . HAPPY NE padosi ki ladki ch

H
A
P
P
Y
.
.
N
E
.
.
HAPPY NE padosi ki ladki chhed di..
.
.
Aaj panchayat bulayi hai..
.
.
Agle k ghar KALESH ho gaya aur aap naye saal ki badhai dhoond rahe ho...

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene ke liye kia sharayat lazmi hoti hain ? Wakil Bola “Talak lene ke liye aap ko shadi shuda hona zarori hai”

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene

Ek aurat ne 1 wakil se pocha k talak lene ke liye kia sharayat lazmi hoti hain ? Wakil Bola “Talak lene ke liye aap ko shadi shuda hona zarori hai”

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar liTeacher

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar liTeacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li

Teacher : usne khudkhushi kar li, use khudkhushi karni padi, farak batao student : pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusra shadi-suda tha

Santa ka baap UK se aya,

Santa ka baap UK se aya,usne pucha teri ma kaha ha santa bola wo to mar gai
bap bola saale tune mujhe bataya kyu ni
santa:

Maine socha surprise dunga.

LADKI ne Ghar choda Sasural mila.

LADKI ne
Ghar choda
Sasural mila.

Bhai choda,
Dever mila.

Bahan chodi,
Nanad mili.

Maa-baap chode,
Sas-Ssur mile.

KYA Choda
JO PATI mila????;-)

Aniversary Par Santa Apni Biwi K Liye Gulab

Aniversary Par Santa Apni Biwi K Liye Gulab Ka Phul Le Kar Aya

Biwi:Muje Yeh Nahi Chahiye

Koi Sone Ki Cheez Do

Santa:Ye Le Takiya Aur So ja.

Teacher: Insaan wahi hai jo dusron ke kaam aaye

Teacher: Insaan wahi hai jo dusron ke kaam aaye
.Student: Par Ma'am exam mein to na aap hamare kaam aati hain aur na dusron ko aane deti hain

Employee-

Employee-
" boss meri shadi ho gayi,meri salary bhada do"

Boss-
"factory ke bahar hone wale hadso ke liye company zimedar nahi hoti"

har kadam par koi katil hai kahan jai

har kadam par koi katil hai kahan jai koi zinda rahna bada mushkil hai kahan jai koi
ans.jahannum me koi pareshan nahi karta

Pathan sharab peeta raha or rota raha.

Pathan sharab peeta raha or rota raha.

Ek admi ne pucha:
"kya huwa khan sahab?"

Pathan: "jis larki ka nam bhulana chahta hon uska nam yad nahi aa raha&qu

Pathan: ye bakray ki raan kidhar gai?

Pathan: ye bakray ki raan kidhar gai?
Qasai: Bakra langra tha
Pathan: r Dil?
Qasai:Wo bakri legai
Ptan:Baba dimagh to hoga?
Qasai:Sorry Lala.
Bakra b PATHAN tha.

Q:Wo Konsi ek Baat hai jo Hazaroon

Q:Wo Konsi ek Baat hai jo Hazaroon Saal Pehle bhi Students kehte the,Aj b Kehte hen Or Qayamat tak Kahngay?








Ans:Bus Kal se Parhai Start.

Ustaad: Sab se ziada nasha kis cheez mei hota hai?

Ustaad: Sab se ziada nasha kis cheez mei hota hai?
Shagird: Taleem me...
Ustaad: Wo kaisy
Shagird: Janab,
.
.
.
.
Kitaben kholte he neend aa jati hai... :-)

Geo Tv ka wo konse programs he jin k

Geo Tv ka wo konse programs he jin k nam khawateen lene se hich kichati hain?
.
.
.
.


"HUM SUB UMEED SE HAIN".
or

'AAJ RAAT KAMRAN KHAN K SATH'. ('.')

Pathan mobile company mei job k lye gya

Pathan mobile company mei job k lye gya
1st question k answer pr hi usay laat maar k bhaga dia


Ques:Which is the most popular network?


Pathan: AL-QAIDA :-D :-D :-P

Ek Larka Ghar Dair Se Lauta,

Ek Larka Ghar Dair Se Lauta,

Maa: Kahan Thay.?

Beta: Film Dekhne Gaya Tha,
"MAA DA PYAR"

Maa: Ab oopar Ja k ek Aur Film Dekh...
"peoo DI MAAR"

Girl: Teri judai mein neend urti hai,

Girl: Teri judai mein neend urti hai, jan jati hai, chein khota hai, dil rota hai...!

Boy: Check karwaley bibi Dengi Virus me bhi aesa hi hota hai!

1 bibi janat ma gai to farishty se boli.

1 bibi janat ma gai to farishty se boli.
"mari shadi kisi molvi nal hi karayo.."
farishta: "sabr kr la bibi, pehly kisi molvi nu janat vich aan te de"

Boy: main tmare lia asman se taray tor k la skta hu

Boy: main tmare lia asman se taray tor k la skta hu

girl: ye to aam bat hay. Agr scha lv krte ho to utility store se cheeni la k dikhao :-P

Biwi pathan se:

Biwi pathan se:

khan hum ko hamara salgirah me chain gift karna.

pathan: wai qurban!
Laalay ki jaan!

zaroor dega batao

CYCLE KA DE
YA moter cycle KA?..

Papa:Beta, mummy bahut chup-chup baithi hai

Papa:Beta, mummy bahut chup-chup baithi hai kya baat hai?Beta:Papa, mummy ne LIPGUARD maanga tha, maine FEVIQUICK pakra diya...

Santa:"Maths vich fail kyu hoya"..

Santa:"Maths vich fail kyu hoya"..

SON:1st day Tchr kendi 5+3=8..

Agle din kendi 6+2=8..

fir kendi 4+4=8
ullu di pathi khud confusd hai menu ki padaeygi..:-

Jagjit Singh: Ye daulat bhi lelo..

Jagjit Singh: Ye daulat bhi lelo.. Ye Shaurat bhi lelo. . . Ye daulat b lelo,ye shaurat b lelo... Santa: Ye bechara bahut pareshan hai iski aurat bhi lelo..

naukar - sahab aapka kutta to

naukar - sahab aapka kutta to admi jaisa dikhta hai.. kya khilate ho?
sahab - kamine ye kutta nahi h. mera beta h CA kar rha h. abhi exam chal rahe hai..

Phathan ne ghar ka darwaza ukhara aur

Phathan ne ghar ka darwaza ukhara aur kandhay pe rakh k bazar mai gya, ek aadmi ne poocha khan kya dawaza bechna hy?
pathan: nahi yaar taala khulwana hy :)

Rat k 3 bje santa k phn per phn aaya

Rat k 3 bje santa k phn per phn aaya=HELLO yahan FATIMA MAHFOOS rahti hai kya? Santa-kutte itni rat ko ager fatima mere pas hoti to kya mahfoos rahti..

Grandpa: Teri Teachr aa rahi hai.Ja chup jaa.

Grandpa: Teri Teachr aa rahi hai.Ja chup jaa.
Grandson: Pehle aap chup jao. Aapki maut ke bahane maine do hafton ka leave le rakha hai.

Santa- Ladki ko chidate hue, or sohneo k

Santa- Ladki ko chidate hue, or sohneo ki Haal chal hai twade?
Ladki-(Gusse me) jo teri bhen ka hai,
Santa-(hass ke) wo to maa banne wali hai.

santa & banta

Santa aur Banta k bich me fight ho rahi thi..
Banta- Saale main tere kapde phaad k tujhe nanga kar doonga!!
Santa- Dekh serious ladai me Romantic baat mat kar!!!!

Ik “PATHAN” apnay Ser pe “TOTA” bitha

Ik “PATHAN” apnay Ser pe “TOTA” bitha kar ja raha tha,

Rastay main 1 admi ne rok k pucha,

bhai ye konsa janwar hai

“TOTA” bola ”
PATHAN” hai salaa.

Santa found cigrate in daughter's room"o

Santa found cigrate in daughter's room"o God she smoked?" Den found wine"o God she drink?" "Den he saw a boy,"thnk god! Toh ye sab iska hai.

Pthan ka Air Hostes sy jagra hogya

1 Pthan ka Air Hostes sy jagra hogya Pilot:Sir kia hua? PTHAN:isny hmari chai me Taweez milaya hy Air Hostes:Sir Khuda ka nam len,wo.."Tea Bag"tha..

Lady doctor: Tum rooz subah clinic ke bahar khare

Lady doctor: Tum rooz subah clinic ke bahar khare ho kar auratoon ko kyun ghoorte ho? Pathan:Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai:AURATOON KO DEKHNAY KA WAQT 9am-11am

Son:Mujhy circus dekhna hai.

Son:Mujhy circus dekhna hai.
Dad:Main busy hoon
Son:Wahan 1 nangi larki cheetay pe sawari karti hai
Dad:Chalo chaltay hain buhat din hogaey cheeta nahi dekha...

santa & banta

Santa 60th B'day
Bnta-Ye Cake Pe bulb Q lagaya he?
Snta-60 Candls lagane Me Mushkil ho Rhi thi Isliye 60Watt k bulb laga diye

santa & banta

Santa= Aisi ki tesi kab hoti hai.
Kab lagta hai ki ab to bhagwan v nahi bacha saakta.
Banta= Jab loose motion lage ho aur pajame ka naala na khule...

wife:mere irade bade nek hai, aap 1000 me se 1 hai

wife:mere irade bade nek hai, aap 1000 me se 1 hai.
Husband: dimag ke hum bhi don hai,pehle ye bata kamini,baki ke 999 kaun hai....

Molana sahab jumay k khutbe mein:

Molana sahab jumay k khutbe mein: Ajkal cable pe channel bohot kharab aa rahe hen!Pathan: Nahi, hamare ghar to saaf aa rahe hain. Aap apna taar check karo..

Wife:- Bakray ki zubaan pakaai ha khaao gay?

Wife:- Bakray ki zubaan pakaai ha khaao gay?
Husbnd: Main moonh se nikli huvi cheez nahi khata.,.
Wife: To phir anda bana doon?:-P

A person never smoked, Drank,

A person never smoked, Drank, no Affair, no Girlfriend, No Flirt, when died. Insurance Company refused claim,They Said " Jo Jiya hi nahin mara kaise ?"

1 boy to another:

1 boy to another:

Yaar tum ne kabhi koi larki phansai hai?

2nd boy!
Yaar larki main ne phansa leni thi pr tum logon ne ye mohalla hi chor diya…! Hahahaha

Bubbli ne ghar se bhag k shadi ki

Bubbli ne ghar se bhag k shadi ki
5 din bad Bubbli rote hove waps aagae
Baap:Ab kyu aai ho?
Bubbli:
Papa wo BMW ka driver nikla
N95 b china wala tha

santa & banta

Santa-Mere pass gadi hai ,bunglow hai,paisa hai tumhare paas kya hai ?
Banta- Mere paas bhi gadi hai bunglow hai paisa hai.
Santa-to saale apni maa kiske paas hai ?

santa & banta

santa:tu kis din paida hua?
banta:itwar ko
santa:chal jhute, us din to chhuti hoti hai..!!

ek bhera scooter start kar raha tha..

ek bhera scooter start kar raha tha..
2 bhera:kya hua petrol khatm ho gaya kya ..
1 bhera :nahi petrol khatm ho gaya ..
2 bhera:mujhe laga ki petrol khatm ho gaya ......

All happy Husbands behave like Amir Khan in

All happy Husbands behave like Amir Khan in Ghajini -
Biwi ki sunte hain,
Samajhte hain,
Aur.







15 Minute ke Baad sab Bhool Jaate Hain.Gud mrng...

Ek baar exam me question aaya-

Ek baar exam me question aaya- HIPS PE ESSAY LIKHO!
Santa apni pant kholkar hips dekh raha tha tabhi Banta bola- MAM! USNE KUNJI KHOL RAKHI HAI!!

patient-mujhe aisi dava do jise khane per me

patient-mujhe aisi dava do jise khane per me murker jinda ho jau?
doctor-aisi dava to sirf Ekta kapoor hi de sakti hai.

Santa saw a board at d centre of a Pond.He tried re

Santa saw a board at d centre of a Pond.He tried reading bt culdnt.Atlast he swims to the centre of the Pond & Reads,"CROCODILE PRESENT,DONT SWIM"

santa & banta

Santa : Kal papa Kuwe me Gir gaye, Bahut Chot Lagi, Bahut Chilla rahe the.
Banta : Ab Kaise hai?
Santa : Thik hi Honge, Kal se Kuwe se Koi Awaaz Nahi aayi Na.

Munna bhai:apun ko kaisy pata chalay ga k ye

Munna bhai:apun ko kaisy pata chalay ga k ye bakra hai ya bakri?”
circuit:”simple bhai ,pathar mar kar dekho,
ager bhaga to bakra aur ager bhagi to bakri.

Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.

Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.



Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.

Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de.

Student : Sir pyar ka izhar karne k

Student : Sir pyar ka izhar karne k liye sabse suitable jagah kya hogi?
Sir : Mandir
Student : sir kyo?
Sir:kyunki waha ladki chappal utar k jati hain

Student : Sir pyar ka izhar karne

Student : Sir pyar ka izhar karne k liye sabse suitable jagah kya hogi?
Sir : Mandir
Student : sir kyo?
Sir:kyunki waha ladki chappal utar k jati hain

3 Dost Bike pe ja rhe the..

3 Dost Bike pe ja rhe the.. Trafficwale ne Rok kr bola : "Tumhe malum nhi TRIPLING Apradh hai.." 1Dost : Hume Malum hai islie to 1 ko Ghar Chodne ja rhe hai..

PrincipaL= Late Q Aaye Ho?

PrincipaL=
Late Q Aaye Ho?
Pappu=
Bike Bigad Gyi Thi Sir
PrincipL=
Bus Me nhi Aa Sakte?
Pappu=
Maine Bola Sir
Par Apki Beti Nhi Mani.

Nurse ! Dr. Ur Wife�s phone

Nurse ! Dr. Ur Wife�s phone
Dr. I�m busy whats the matter ?
Nurse : She wants to kiss u
Dr : I am Busy . U take her kiss n give me later.

Ek sharabi chaand ki or ishara karke puchhta hai:

Ek sharabi chaand ki or ishara karke puchhta hai: Ye chand hai ya suraj? Dusra sharabi: Mujhe nahi pata, main bhi iss shaher mein naya hun..!

Son:papa jab sab shadi kar ke

Son:papa jab sab shadi kar ke pareshan hai tu shadi kyu kartay hai?
Papa: Beta aqal Badam khanay
Se nahi Thokar kha ke aati hai:->

Dulha: Aaj se tum meri Zeenat ho, Tabasum ho

Dulha: Aaj se tum meri Zeenat ho, Tabasum ho, Tamanna ho…
Dulhan:
Sharma k…
Ji Aaj se aap b mere liye
Naveed ho,
Tahir ho,
Imran ho.
Kamran ho..;-)

eh sher ne ek budde ko pakad liya

eh sher ne ek budde ko pakad liya
budda: mera khoon thanda ho chuka hai kisi jawan ka garam khoon piyo
sher: nahi aaj mera cold drink peene ka mood hai

santa & banta

Satna’s BV: Janu sawera ho gya jago

Banta’s BV: Chaand dhal gya jago

Singh’s BV: Darling it’s dawn get up

Major Rohail’s BV: OYE! Subha ho gae mera husbnd ane wala hai

Man saw a snake on bed of his Mother-in-law.

Man saw a snake on bed of his Mother-in-law.

Man to snake: Meri saas ko das lay.
Snake: Abay Kya das lay? Main esi say to apna zehar recharge karwata hon.

santa ki sadi nurse se ho jati hai banta ek din

santa ki sadi nurse se ho jati hai banta ek din santa se mila pucha yar kasi hai tumare bb santa: yar mere baat hi nahi sunti jab tak use mai sister na bulau.

ek sharabi dosre se: ek hathi pool mein gir jay

ek sharabi dosre se: ek hathi pool mein gir jay
to kaise nikle ga?
dosra: very simple wet ho kar nikle ga.

shehzada saleem: humari amma aur abba humse

shehzada saleem: humari amma aur abba humse
aitna pyar karte tahe k humare sone tak
humare pass baithe rahte aur hum phir bhi na sote.
wazeer: isiliye to aap iklote rah gaye.

Boy friend to his Girl friend:

Boy friend to his Girl friend:
"darling mere kaan main kuch garam sa
kuch naram sa, kuch namkin sa
kuch mitha sa kaho na"
Girl friend sharmate hue: " HALWA PORI"

Son: Abba idher aa

Son: Abba idher aa
Mother: Aise nahi boltey beta,
daddy ko izat k saath bulate hain,
Son: Abba izzat k saath idher aaja

santa & banta

SANTA- Tere kitne bachhe hain?
BANTA- 18
SANTA- Itne saare?
BANTA- Sasurji se wada kiya tha k unki beti ko kabhi khaali pet nahi rakhoonga ;-)

Nokrani : Malkin aap udas kyo hai?

Nokrani : Malkin aap udas kyo hai?
Malkin : Tumhare Saab apne office ki kisi ladkise pyar karte hai Nokrani: Naheeeeeeeee! Saab muje dhoka nahi de sakte.

School me 1 bacha chaku liye ghum raha tha

School me 1 bacha chaku liye ghum raha tha
. teachar ne pucha chaku liye kyo ghum rahe ho?
bacha: "GARIB HU SIR, bandhuk KAHA SE LAu.

Santa Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.

Santa Ne Bus Me Ek Ladki Ko Chhed Diya.

Ladki- Tumhare Ghar Me Maa Behen Nahi He Kya??

Santa- Kya Pata Me To Subah Se Ghar Se Bahar Hu..

Wife:Bathroom K Pardey Lagwa Do,

Wife:Bathroom K Pardey Lagwa Do,

Naya Parosi Dekhnay Ki Koshish Karta Hai.

Sardar:Ek Baar Daikh Lanay Do,

Phir Woh Khud Apnay

Room Main Parday Laga Le Ga!….

” Tum Kuttay Thay

” Tum Kuttay Thay

Kuttay Ho Aur
Kuttay Hii Rahoge
Tumhare Bache Bhi Kuttay Aur Aane Wali Saato’n Naslai’n Kuttay Hii Rahenge ”

Kutya Ne Kuttay Se Kaha Aur Maike Chali Gayi . . .

Zardari Doodh Waly Ki Dukaan

Zardari Doodh Waly Ki Dukaan
Pe Gya Aur Kaha :

“Kuttay K Liye
Ek Litre Doodh De Do …”

Doodh Wala :

“Idhar Hi Pio Ge
Ya
Parcel Ker Doon…”

Santa : Yaar Achha Hua

Santa : Yaar Achha Hua
Me India Me Paida Hua
America Me Nahi
Banta : Q America Me
Hota To Kya Hota ?
Santa : Tu B Na
Muje English Kaha Aati Hai

Anty chote puppy se: Oye hoye! kitna sona doggy

Anty chote puppy se: Oye hoye! kitna sona doggy hai!
Umma.. Umma.. Umma..!
Boy: Par anty..
Anty: Oye kiss karne de!
Umma.. Umma.. Umma..!!
.
.
.
Boy: Par anty iska muh idhar nahi us taraf hai!

santa & banta

Santa: bhagwan ka shukar hai ki India 14th August ko aazad nahi hua..
Banta: Kyun??
Santa: Are yaar, Phir hum 15th August kaise manaate ?

Biwi-mere khyal se hmari beti ki kisi ladke k sath setting ho gai h

Biwi-mere khyal se hmari beti ki kisi ladke k sath setting ho gai h

pati-vo kaise?

Bivi-q ki vo kafi dino se recharge k paise nahi maang rhi h.

"Wife- Main maayke ja rahi hu, tumhe talaak

"Wife- Main maayke ja rahi hu, tumhe talaak ka notice bhej dungi. Husband- Ja ja mithi-mithi bate karke mujhe khush karne ki koshish mat kar."

"Wife- Main maayke ja rahi hu, tumhe talaak ka

"Wife- Main maayke ja rahi hu, tumhe talaak ka notice bhej dungi. Husband- Ja ja mithi-mithi bate karke mujhe khush karne ki koshish mat kar."

santa & banta

Sant: meine khat likha tha ki meri shadi per jaroor aana, tum q nahi aaye?

Banta: yaar mujhe khat mila he nahi.

Banta: meine likha tha k khat mile ya na mile tum zaroor aana

1admi santa ke bete se poochta hai:

1admi santa ke bete se poochta hai: beta papa ghar pe hai????
santa ka beta SPRITE peete hue: uncle seedhe bolo mummy se milna hai,
Seedhi baat no bakwaas

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain.

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain. 10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?

Bania's son: Kutch bhi nahi.

Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.

Bania's funny son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

SHADI MEANS-:

SHADI MEANS-:
S-SHANTI BHANG
H-HIMMAT KHTAM
A-AAJADI SAMAAPTA
D-DIMAG KHARAB
I-IN "MAN'S" LIFE

American: Hamare paas MADONA, JULIA,BRITNE

American: Hamare paas MADONA, JULIA,BRITNEY jaise Item BOMB hai.... tumhare paas kya hai?

Indian: Hamare paas IMRAN HASMI jaise BOMB DEFUSER hai!!!

Teacher: Radio or akhbar main kia farq hai?

Teacher: Radio or akhbar main kia farq hai? Pathan (bohat soch k): Dekho madam, Akhbar mein hum Rotiyan la sakta hai, Magar Radio mein nahi.

Teacher- Tumhaare Ghar mein Sab se Chhota Kaun hai??

Teacher- Tumhaare Ghar mein Sab se Chhota Kaun hai??
Student- Mere Papa.. Teacher- Wo Kaise??
Student- Wo Aaj bhi Mummy ke Saath Sote hai..

Agar “Dil” ko aanda(egg) kehtey

Agar “Dil” ko aanda(egg) kehtey
to indian films k naam aisay hote

Hum Aanda de chuke sanam,
Yeh aanda aapka huwa,
Hum aap k aanday main rehte hain,
Aandy waale Bread le jayienge….

If Rakhi Sawant started acting in Ekta Kapoor

If Rakhi Sawant started acting in Ekta Kapoor soaps as the Drama Queen, what would be the name of the serials ?

Kyonki Saas bhi Kabhi Item Girl Thee
Kahin Kissing Roz
Kyaa Hoga Mika Kaa

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.

Husband apni wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.
Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
Husband : peche line main lago. :

Sheikh ka beta girl friend k sath ghoom k ghar aya

Sheikh ka beta girl friend k sath ghoom k ghar aya
to baap ne pocha, kitnay paisay kharch kiye?
Beta : 50 rupye.
Baap : itnay saray?
Beta : Abba us k pass 50 he tahe

Difference between dawa and daru.

Difference between dawa and daru.
Dawa is like a girlfriend. it has expiry date and
Daru is like a "wife" jitni purani hogi utni sar ko charti hai.

wife: bas karo kitna karoge? raat se kar rahe ho.

wife: bas karo kitna karoge? raat se kar rahe ho.
thaky nahi abhi tak?
husband: raat se kar raha hoon to kiya hua
aaj to main pora din karonga.
SMS itne saste jo hogaye hain.

teacher: boys aap ko aamir khan aur kajol ki film

teacher: boys aap ko aamir khan aur kajol ki film
fana se kiya lesson mila?
student: andhi, kani, langri, jo bhi mile,
phansa leni chahye.

ek murgi ne 3 ande diye aur dua ki ya Allah

ek murgi ne 3 ande diye aur dua ki ya Allah
mere bache naik niklain
to pehle andey main se bacha namaz parhta hua nikla,
dosra bacha tasbih parhta hua nikla,
tesra nahi nikla to murgi pareshan hogai
aur us ne bache ko awaz di to anday main se awaz aai
k main etqaf main betha hoon.

pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya,

pathan girl friend ko ghar le gaya,
sab darwaze khirkiyan band kardin,
parde gira diye light off kar k us k pass aya aur kaha
dekho humara watch main light jalta hai.

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.

Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.
ek admi ne pocha kya hua?
Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka opreation
karwane aata hai aur baal katwa k chala ata hai.

ek pathan k janaze main log bhangra daal rahe tahe

ek pathan k janaze main log bhangra daal rahe tahe.
wajha pochi to ek pathan ne bataya k
pehli dafa hum main se koi
Brain Hambrige se mara hai

Father: shaadi bachon ka khel nahi

Father: shaadi bachon ka khel nahi
Son: haan pata hai mujhe,
Father: kiya pata hai?
Son: yahi k shadi badon ka khel hai
jo bachon k liye khela jata hai

1 pthan ne 1 molvi se kch pucha

1 pthan ne 1 molvi se kch pucha

Molvi ne 2 thapar lagy
1 admi ne pthan se pucha tumne kya bola molvi ko?
Pthan:Mne srf pucha K
Valentine day ki nmaz kahan ho gi

1 boy ki G.Frnd ny usy lettr likha,

1 boy ki G.Frnd ny usy lettr likha, mujse milny 1 lrka aya hy,tumsy kahin acha hy,mei us se shadi karungi meri pic wapis bijhwa do
larky ny apne sary doston ki G.F ki 30 pics jama ki,drmyan me uski pic rkh k lettr likha,
lo,in mei sy nikal lo,me tmhari shakal bhool gya hn!!!

A Small child: Papa ap kisi larki ko pyar krte he?

A Small child: Papa ap kisi larki ko pyar krte he?
Papa: Haan tumhari maa se.
Child: Bare badmaash ho ghar me hi chakar chalaya howa ha.....'

Bhikari: Hello , Pizza Hut?

Bhikari:
Hello , Pizza Hut?

Pizza Hut:
Yes Sir

Bhikari:
1 Large Pizza Or 1 Litre Pepsi Bhej Do

Pizza Hut:
Sir Kis Ke Naam Se Bhejoon?

Bhikari:
Allah Ke Naam Pe Dede Baba!'

Bacha: Mene Hathi K Samne 12 Apple Rakhe

Bacha:
Mene Hathi K Samne 12 Apple Rakhe
Usne 11 Khaye Aik Q Nhi Khaya?

Aadmi:
Hathi Ka Pait Bhr Gya Hoga.

Bacha:
Nhi
12wa Apple Plastic Ka Tha.

Acha Dubara Mene Hahti K Samne
12 Apple Rakhe To Us Ne Aik B Nhi Khaya Q?

Aadmi:
Saare
Apple Plastic K Honge.

Bacha:
Nhi Galat
Is Dafa Hathi Plastic Ka Tha.'

Boy:chalte chalte yunhi ruk jata hun me,

Boy:chalte chalte yunhi ruk jata hun me, bethe bethe yumhi kho jata hun me,kya yahi pyar h?
Girl:nhi ye kamzori hai, "glucon-D pia karo!"

santa ki bewi mar gai--sardar ji kafan leny gia-

santa ki bewi mar gai--sardar ji kafan leny gia---dukandar nay kafan ka kaprra dia-----santa kuch bola ,, jisay sun ky dukandar bay hosh ho gia..
santa.. is may aur colors dikawo

Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa gift bataa jo seedha

Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi ke dil per lage...



Ruk sochne de

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Banta: Goli mar de [?]

santa & banta

Santa 500 k note pe likha number dial kr rha tha.
Banta = kya kr rhe ho?
Santa= mai dekh rha hu, gandhiji to chale gye par unka mobile kiske pass hai?

Husb: Aj Koi Aysi Bat Kho.,

Husb: Aj Koi Aysi Bat Kho.,
Jisse Dil Khush b ho Jaye or Jal b Jaye.,
Wife: Apke k sb Frnd's me sb se Acchi KISS Krne ka Style Apka h..

Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne

Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, “Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”

Mohabbat Kia Hai? .

Mohabbat Kia Hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jo
Yaqeen Ban K Soch Me
Ummeed Ban K Ankh Me
Raonaq Ban K Chehre Pe
Aitmad Ban K Baato Me
aur
Ehsas Ban K
Dil Me Rahe.

santa & banta

Santa:main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
BANTA: wow kab?
SANTA: meri 7 dec ko aur uski 13 jan ko.

Doctor - ye mar chuka hai..

Doctor - ye mar chuka hai..
(tabhi mariz bol pada) - main zinda hu..!
Mareez ki biwi boli - Tum chup raho ji, hamesha apni chalate ho, itna bada doctor kya jhut bolega?

England Mother- Good night dear.

England Mother- Good night dear.
Hindu Mother - Shubh ratri beta.
Muslim Mother - Shaba kher.
Aur
Apni MAA- Are Iss Mobile Ko AAG Laga De Aur So Ja.

MASTER G Class Me-Agar sache dil se

MASTER G Class Me-Agar sache dil se GOD se prathna ki jaye to wo puri hoti haiLADKA-Rahne do sir, agar aisa hota to aaj aap mere sir nahi sasur hote.

Modern world-Ek aadmi ka Ye Sun Kar

Modern world-Ek aadmi ka Ye Sun Kar Heart fail Ho Gaya Jab uski Kaam Waali Baai Ne Kaha, Sahab!Orkut Pe Mujhe Bhi Add Karlo;-)

Ik husband apni wife ke kirya kram

Ik husband apni wife ke kirya kram (cremation) kar ke ghar lot raha tha.

Tabhi asman me jor se bijli chamki aur badal garje.

Husband bola: Lagta hai pohonch gayi.

Santa: Dr.sahab main jb BV ko kiss karta hu to u

Santa: Dr.sahab main jb BV ko kiss karta hu to us k muh se
Smell aati hai.
Dr.“kamal hai jb mainne check kya tha tb to lipstick ki khushbu aarahi thi”

Question Paper in year 2050:

Question Paper in year 2050:
1. Name the cities of Pakistan where Electricity is found.
2. How does Sugar taste? Explain in your Own words.
3. Draw a Neat and Labeled Diagram of a Suicide Jacket.
4. In Ancient Times, What was Petrol Used for? Support your answer with examples

Bhikari Pathan sy!

Bhikari Pathan sy!
mujhy khaany ko kuch mill sakta hy.
Pathan:kal ki Roti kha lo gy?
bhikari: G han bilkul.
Pathan: acha to phir kal Time se Aa jana… ;->

Ek Sahab ki Lottery Mai PARIS ka Tour Nikla

Ek Sahab ki Lottery Mai PARIS ka Tour Nikla
Usne apni BV ko phone kya:
“Janu mere Sath Paris chalo gi?”
BV Khushi se boli:
“Yes, Bilkul, Paris Jana to mera khuwab tha,
Zarur chalu gi.
Par
Aap kon sahib bol rhe hain?”

Wife To Husband: Tum Mujhe Maar Kar,

Wife To Husband: Tum Mujhe Maar Kar,
Mera Sab Kuch Harrap Karna Chahtay Ho.
Husband: Chal!
Barri Aai, Benazir.

Main Zindagi Bhar Jisko Chahta Raha

Main Zindagi Bhar Jisko Chahta Raha
“DOST”
Aaj Us ka Beta Bola
.
.
.
.
.
Abbu Mujhe School Chor Do Na
.
Moral:
Har Koi Teri Tarha Mamu Nahi Banta

Teacher ne SHARAB ka nuqsan batany k liye

Teacher ne SHARAB ka nuqsan batany k liye
1 KEERA SHARAB me dala to wo mar gia
Teachr:Ap Ne Kia Seeka?
studnts: SHRAB penay se Pait k keeray marte hain

Major Rohail ne bank se loan le kr car le

Major Rohail ne bank se loan le kr car le
Lakin loan wapis na kr ska
Bank walay car le gy
.
.
.
.
Major Rohail: pehle pta hota tu shadi b bank se loan le kr krta

Munna Bhai:- a Circuit, apun k mind me 1 laucha chal rela he,

Munna Bhai:- a Circuit, apun k mind me 1 laucha chal rela he,
ye Bagla 1 tang utha k kae ko sota he?
Circuit:- aray simple Bhai,
bolay to agar Bagla dosri tang b utha lega to gir jai ga. . .

1 pagal khali paper ko bar bar choom raha tha.

1 pagal khali paper ko bar bar choom raha tha.
2pagal:Ye kya hai?
1Pagal: Love letter hay
2pagal:Magar ye to khali hay
1Pagal: Aaj kal bol chal band hai:-

Santa Jaldi se 1 Glass Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai

Santa
Jaldi se 1 Glass Juice Do Larai Hone Wali hai
Peny Ke Bad
1 Glass aur do Larai Hone Wali Hai
Juice Wala
Larai Kb Hogi?
Santa:Jab To Paise Mange ga

Aik pathan pani pee raha tha …

Aik pathan pani pee raha tha
…
Ab kya?
Pathan pani b nhi pee skta?? Is par bhi joke chahiye?
Jaan lay lo pathanon ki.

Bhakt-Baba Koi aisa job batao,jaha mujhe kam

Bhakt-Baba Koi aisa job batao,jaha mujhe kam na karna pade,Log apna kam khud kare aur mujhe paise bhi de. SWAMIJI-Ja beta,SULABH SHOUCHALAY me Naukri kar le

Dadi ko "BHAGWAT GEETA" ka path karte dekh pota

Dadi ko "BHAGWAT GEETA" ka path karte dekh pota apni ma se bola- Ma dadi kon se xam ki Tyaari kar rahi he, Ma boli- Beta dadi "FINAL" ki tyari kar rhi he...g.m

bahu ki vidai k baad ghar aane pe saas ne kaha

bahu ki vidai k baad ghar aane pe saas ne kaha "beti aaj se mujhe ma or apne sasur ko papa kehna.. sham ko pati k aane par biwi boli, maa bhaiya aa gaye...

santa & banta

Santa Banta se:
Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hain?

Banta:
Pata nahi bhai,
meri to kam umar me hi shadi ho gayi thi..

WIFE-KITCHEN SE. AJI SUNTE HO DEKHO ME AJ KAL

WIFE-KITCHEN SE. AJI SUNTE HO DEKHO ME AJ KAL BOHAL KHOBSURAT HO RAHI HUN...
HUSBEND-TUMNE KAISE JANA?
WIFE-AJ KAL MERI KHOBSURTI DEKH KER ROTI BHI JALNE LAGI HAI...

1 GADHA RO RO KER DUA KER RAHA THA?

1 GADHA RO RO KER DUA KER RAHA THA? YA KHUDA MUJHE PADHNE KI TOFIQ DE? 1 DIN USKI DUA QABOOL HUYE OR WO YE SMS BHI PADH RAHA HAI

SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA..

SANTA 1ST TIME PLANE ME BETHA.. PLANE RUNWAY PER DOR RAHA THA.. SANTA NE PILOT KO THAPPAD MARA OR BOLA.. ABE SALE DEER HO RAHI HAI OR TU BY ROAD JA RAHA HAI....

Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz laga

Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,santa nanga hi bahar aa gaya dost-kuch to pahen leta yaar,santa bhag k andar gaya or “chappal pahen kar aa gaya.

By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet,

By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet, All the ladies stood up.
santa -BAITHO-BAITHO,IZZAT DIL ME HO BAS YAHI KAAFI HAI...|||"

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.
Thakur: tere pas do haat to hai hi, do aur leke kya shera vali mata banega...

Father: wht abt ur result?Father: wht abt ur

Father: wht abt ur result?Father: wht abt ur result?Pappu 2 God: Plz give me 1 bag full of money, a job and 1 big vehicle full of gals.
God: Bless u!
2day Pappu is a bus conductor of a Girls College.

Father: wht abt ur result?

Father: wht abt ur result?
Son: wo headmaster saab ka beta fail ho gaya...

F: wht abt urs?
S: wo khan saab ka beta fail ho gaya.

F: n wt abt ur?
S: Wo dr. Saab ka..

F: u idiot m asking abt urs?
S: to aap kon se prime minister h jo aap ka beta paas hoga

bahu ki vidai k baad ghar aane pe saas ne kaha "

bahu ki vidai k baad ghar aane pe saas ne kaha "beti aaj se mujhe ma or apne sasur ko papa kehna.. sham ko pati k aane par biwi boli, maa bhaiya aa gaye...

santa & banta

Santa Banta se:
Bhai ye khushiyan kya hoti hain?

Banta:
Pata nahi bhai,
meri to kam umar me hi shadi ho gayi thi..

WIFE-KITCHEN SE. AJI SUNTE HO DEKHO ME

WIFE-KITCHEN SE. AJI SUNTE HO DEKHO ME AJ KAL BOHAL KHOBSURAT HO RAHI HUN...
HUSBEND-TUMNE KAISE JANA?
WIFE-AJ KAL MERI KHOBSURTI DEKH KER ROTI BHI JALNE LAGI HAI...

1 GADHA RO RO KER DUA KER RAHA THA?

1 GADHA RO RO KER DUA KER RAHA THA? YA KHUDA MUJHE PADHNE KI TOFIQ DE? 1 DIN USKI DUA QABOOL HUYE OR WO YE SMS BHI PADH RAHA HAI

Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,

Santa naha rha tha,dost ne awaz lagai,
santa nanga hi bahar aa gaya dost-kuch to pahen leta yaar,santa bhag k andar gaya or “chappal pahen kar aa gaya.

By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet

By mistake santa entered into a ladies toilet, All the ladies stood up.
santa -BAITHO-BAITHO,IZZAT DIL ME HO BAS YAHI KAAFI HAI...|||"

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur,

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur,
Thakur: tere pas do haat to hai hi, do aur leke kya shera vali mata banega...

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.
Thakur: tere pas do haat to hai hi, do aur leke kya shera vali mata banega...

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.

Gabar: ye haat mujhe dede thakur.
Thakur: tere pas do haat to hai hi, do aur leke kya shera vali mata banega...

Pappu 2 God: Plz give me 1 bag full of money

Pappu 2 God: Plz give me 1 bag full of money, a job and 1 big vehicle full of gals.
God: Bless u!
2day Pappu is a bus conductor of a Girls College.

Father: wht abt ur result?

Father: wht abt ur result?
Son: wo headmaster saab ka beta fail ho gaya...

F: wht abt urs?
S: wo khan saab ka beta fail ho gaya.

F: n wt abt ur?
S: Wo dr. Saab ka..

F: u idiot m asking abt urs?
S: to aap kon se prime minister h jo aap ka beta paas hoga

Banta: Tum Cricket dekhate ho

Banta: Tum Cricket dekhate ho
Santa: Han
Banta: Kisi Mahila Cricket Player ka naam batao
Santa: Simple, Mahila Jayewardane

Banta: Ek Uncle Chips ka pura packet kha leta hai

Banta: Ek Uncle Chips ka pura packet kha leta hai
Khane ke baad sochata hai

Ad me to Bol rahe the ki lips bolenge lekin

Mere to Hips bol rahen hai

Santa's Army Test

Santa's Army Test

Pappu- 3+5?
Santa- 8
Pappu- 7+3?
Santa- 10
Pappu- 8+8?
Santa- Pata nahi sir
Mere pass sirf 10 hi ungli Hai.

Andha Aadmi-bhabhi ye lo laddu

Andha Aadmi-bhabhi ye lo laddu
Bhabhi naha rahi thi soch ki andha hai
bina kapdo ke bahar aa ke boli- ye kis liye,
Andha- Meri aankhe thik ho gai..

santa & banta

Santa: Kal maine Hinjaro ke Raja ko dekha tha
Banta: Kahan, kya naam hai
Santa:Yuvraj Singh, Sab usko angreji me bol rahe the, SIXER KING

Dost Pathan se:

Dost Pathan se:
APRIL FOOL manaya?
Pathan: Han
Dost:kis k saath?
Pathan:Bv k 7!
hum ne 3 bar talaq dia
jab wo rone laga to Hum bola
APRIL FOOL,
APRIL FOOL..!

harid kar do barSanta: Biscuit ka packet

harid kar do barSanta: Biscuit ka packet kabar- barabar tor raha tha

puchha kyon

Santa: Pretto ne bola tha 50- 50 Biscuit lane hai

changu- yaar mangu

changu- yaar mangu bahut der se neend nahi aa rahi hai.
mangu- koi baat nahi tu uska wait mat kar aur so ja.

Santa: Mere panv me khujali aa rahi hai

Santa: Mere panv me khujali aa rahi hai
Jyotishi: videsh yatra ka yog h
S: Hath me
J: Paise aane ka yog h
S: Pet me
J: Swadisht bhojan ka yog h
S: Mathe pe
J: Abe khujale doctor ke pass ja mere pass kyon aaya h

preeto poti test karvane gayi dr

preeto poti test karvane gayi dr. ne kaha-ye poti nahi halwa hai.
preeto-ek phone kar lu.
dr.-kyo?
preeto-santa ji ko batana hai ki unke tiffin mein poti chali gayi hai.

santa &banta

Santa:-Yaar Ans sheet pe kya likhun??
Banta:-Yehi Ki
"IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GAYE ANS KALPNIK HAIN JINKA KISI BHI BOOK SE KOI SAMBANDH NAHIN HAI"

Ahmad: hum 25 behan or bhai hai

Ahmad: hum 25 behan or bhai hai
Karim: kya tumhare ghar family-Planning wale nahi aaye the,
Ahmad: aaye the par school shamaj kar chale gaye.....

Maa- Beta tum apne baal kyun nahi katwate?

Maa- Beta tum apne baal kyun nahi katwate?
Beta- Kyu maa?
Maa- Beta log rishte k liye tumhari behen ko dekhne aate hain aur tumhe

pasand kar jate hain!!! ;-)

AMERICA: Hamare Kutte Fotball khelte hai.

AMERICA: Hamare Kutte Fotball khelte hai.
JAPAN : Hamare Machhi Dance Karte hai.
CHINA : Hamare Hathi Cricket Khelte hai.
INDIA : HAMARE GADHE MASSAGE PADHTE HAI.

Mr Saleem had 3 sons

Mr Saleem had 3 sons
1 Rehmet -e- Saleem
2 Barkat -e- Saleem
3 Meboob -e- Saleem

When his 4th son was born, his wife decided to name him

Baskar -e- Saleem!!

teacher: wo konsi chiz hai jo tum roz dekh to

teacher: wo konsi chiz hai jo tum roz dekh to sakte ho par tod nahi sakte .
student: apka mooh.......

santa:chal race lagate hain, jo harega wo rs.1000

santa:chal race lagate hain, jo harega wo rs.1000 dega. banta :thik hai par mujhe rasta nahi pata . santa:bas tu mere peece peeche rehna. banta :thanx bhai.

Santa ko exam mein koi sawal ka answer

Santa ko exam mein koi sawal ka answer nahin aata tha, santa ne har sawal ke neeche ///////// lines laga di or likha Scratch kar ke answer padh lena.

Teacher:Beta tum iss class me 3 saal se fail ho

Teacher:Beta tum iss class me 3 saal se fail ho rahe ho.Tumhari umar me Shashtriji matric pass kar chuke the.
Student:Sir,gyan mat bantiye.Aapki umar me Bhagat Singh fansi chad chuke the!!!

santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha papa tehte

santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha papa tehte hai bada naam karega.

maa - bijli ka bill tera baap bharega...............................

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush kisne toda tha.

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush kisne toda tha.
Boy-Ghabrakar,Sir,such keh raha hoon maine nahi toda.
Principal-Master Sahab!aap kya padha rahe hain bachon ko.
Master-Sir!ye theek kah raha hai,isne dhanush nahi toda.Ye to kal school hi nahi aaya tha.

1 choti si larki shop keeper k pas gayi or boli.

1 choti si larki shop keeper k pas gayi or boli.

Jab main bari ho jaon gi to mujse shadi karo ge,

Shopkpr. Hans k bola han kar lunga.

Larki boli to kia apni hone wali wife ko 1 choclate bhi nahi de sakte.

Ek Raat light chali gayi SANTA:Aree yaar pankha

Ek Raat light chali gayi SANTA:Aree yaar pankha to chala doo,banta: Kar dii na paglo wali baat?pankha chala diya to mombati bhuj jayegi.

Bhakt-panditji aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo

Bhakt-panditji aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo beautiful ho,intelligent ho,understanding ho,kabhi jealousy na kare aur ek badhiya cook ho ? Pandit-AFWAAH

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai
aunty-chini k sath haste huye boli, acha or kya kaha mummy ne? kid-kaha vo kutiya na de to sharma ji se le ana

Shaadi k din patni pati se: "SUNO JI!!! Aaj se

Shaadi k din patni pati se: "SUNO JI!!! Aaj se AAPKE bina MAI nahi MERE bina aap nahi"10 saal baad patni:"KUTTE!!! Aaj ya to TU nahi ya MAI nahi"

Osama to

Osama to
Amitabh:How are you??Amitabh:Bas kabhi khushi kabhi Gum.Aur aap?? Osama:Bas kabhi Gola kabhi Bum.

Believe it or not, but its true.

Believe it or not, but its true.
Gandhi went to gym at the age of 24. One of his friend said,"Wah bapu, kya body hai".
Tabhi se bapu ne shirt pehenna chor diya.

What is the biggest pressure on a pak

What is the biggest pressure on a pak Captain when they need 1 run to win in 5 overs &10 wkts in hand..?

.

.

Ya Allah..Jeetne ke baad Angrezi bolni padegi.!

santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha papa

santa - radio pe gaane sun raha tha papa tehte hai bada naam karega.

maa - bijli ka bill tera baap bharega...............................

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush

Principal-batao Shivji ka dhanush kisne toda tha.
Boy-Ghabrakar,Sir,such keh raha hoon maine nahi toda.
Principal-Master Sahab!aap kya padha rahe hain bachon ko.
Master-Sir!ye theek kah raha hai,isne dhanush nahi toda.Ye to kal school hi nahi aaya tha.

1 choti si larki shop keeper k pas gayi or boli.

1 choti si larki shop keeper k pas gayi or boli.

Jab main bari ho jaon gi to mujse shadi karo ge,

Shopkpr. Hans k bola han kar lunga.

Larki boli to kia apni hone wali wife ko 1 choclate bhi nahi de sakte.

Ek Raat light chali gayi SANTA:

Ek Raat light chali gayi SANTA:Aree yaar pankha to chala doo,banta: Kar dii na paglo wali baat?pankha chala diya to mombati bhuj jayegi.

Bhakt-panditji aisi patni ko kya kahenge

Bhakt-panditji aisi patni ko kya kahenge jo beautiful ho,intelligent ho,understanding ho,kabhi jealousy na kare aur ek badhiya cook ho ? Pandit-AFWAAH

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai
aunty-chini k sath haste huye boli, acha or kya kaha mummy ne? kid-kaha vo kutiya na de to sharma ji se le ana

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai

Kid-aunty,mummy ne 1 katori chini mangai hai
aunty-chini k sath haste huye boli, acha or kya kaha mummy ne? kid-kaha vo kutiya na de to sharma ji se le ana

Shaadi k din patni pati se:

Shaadi k din patni pati se: "SUNO JI!!! Aaj se AAPKE bina MAI nahi MERE bina aap nahi"10 saal baad patni:"KUTTE!!! Aaj ya to TU nahi ya MAI nahi"

Osama to Amitabh:How are you?

Osama to
Amitabh:How are you??Amitabh:Bas kabhi khushi kabhi Gum.Aur aap?? Osama:Bas kabhi Gola kabhi Bum.

Believe it or not, but its true.

Believe it or not, but its true.
Gandhi went to gym at the age of 24. One of his friend said,"Wah bapu, kya body hai".
Tabhi se bapu ne shirt pehenna chor diya.

What is the biggest pressure on a pak

What is the biggest pressure on a pak Captain when they need 1 run to win in 5 overs &10 wkts in hand..?

.

.

Ya Allah..Jeetne ke baad Angrezi bolni padegi.!

1 indian ne 1 chinese ladki se shadi ki

1 indian ne 1 chinese ladki se shadi ki.1 saal bad hi wo mar gai.
Usey rota dekh uska dost bola:Afsos he,par soch China ka maal aur kitna chalega.

girl to bf= is week roz movie dekhenge

girl to bf= is week roz movie dekhenge nxt week rooz shoping karenge

bf=uske nxt week hum rooz mandir ke bahar bethenge

girl=aisa kyo?
bf=bheek mangne

1 Molvi Dua maang raha tha: Ya ALLAH

1 Molvi Dua maang raha tha: Ya ALLAH Shahadat ki mout Dey.Paas betha 1 Baba bola:Molvi G Jihaad te tussi jana Nai te Halway wich Bomb kisi ne pana nai.

Faqeer to Men: Allaha ke naam pe de do

Faqeer to Men: Allaha ke naam pe de do
Men: Maf karo baba
Faqeer: Kuch to de do
Men: Achha baba jo SMS pad raha hai usko le jao
Faqeer: Maine Bhikh mangi hai bhikari nahin

ek pagal dusere se:- yaar tuzhe pata hai

ek pagal dusere se:- yaar tuzhe pata hai bharat or hindustan ke beach jang chid gaye hai
dusra pagal:- tu chinta kyu karta hai be...
hum to india mein rahete hai.......

Teacher to circuit: munna bhai ne raat ko khana kh

Teacher to circuit: munna bhai ne raat ko khana khaya
is sentence ka future tense banao.....
circuit: munna bhai subah potty karega....

Husband & Wife Husband: Main Tumhari

Husband & Wife Husband: Main Tumhari roz roz ki farmaishon se tang aa gaya hoon…!

is liye khud khushi karne jaa raha hoon

Wife: Acha aik White Saari to dila dain Iddat kay dino main kya pehnungi . . ?

banta & santa

Banta: Santa, Bulb Jalana
Santa Bulb nikaal kar Gas Stove par rakh deta hai
Bulb jal gaya

Santo Office Jaa raha tha

Santo Office Jaa raha tha
Preeto(Pyar se boli): See you at night!

Santa (Gusse se): Dhamki kise de rahi ho mein bhi tujhe dekh lunga

"High Class Insult"

"High Class Insult"


Boy 2 Girl :- Apne Baal to dekho jaise Ghass Ugi Ho

Girl :- Isliye itni der se soch rahi hu ke mere pass Gadhe kyo Khade hai

Banta & santa

Banta: Santa dhobi se te T Shirt Ulti karke press kar dena!
Ek din Baad
Banta: Meri T shirt press ho gayi?
Santa: Babooji press kaise karta, koshish to bahoot ki lekin ULTI aa hi nahi rahe

Ek Angrez ko raat me bahut machhar kaat rahe the

Ek Angrez ko raat me bahut machhar kaat rahe the...


Usne gusse me aake saari light band kardi.
tabhi room ek jugnu aaya.


Angrez: Ohhhh no!!! India ka macchar sala ab torch leke dhund raha hai....!!!!

Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri

Husband to Hotel Manager: "Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai"
Manager: "What can I do?
Husband: "Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai."

Teacher-batao bachcho jo galat kaam karte

Teacher-batao bachcho jo galat kaam karte hai wo kahan jate hai..?






Student- sharmaate huye bola sir.. CENTRAL PARK, VICTORIA, NALBAAN, MILLENIUM PARK..

Billu: WHAT IS LOVE?

Billu: WHAT IS LOVE?
Tillu: JAB GIRLFRIEND PAADE AUR USKI BADBOO BHI TUJHE GULAB KI KHUSHBOO KI TARAH LAGE.Tab Samajhna Tujhe Sachcha Pyar Ho Gaya..

Sharma:Yar murgi k bacche anda torkar

Sharma:Yar murgi k bacche anda torkar bahar kaise aa jate hai. Verma:Mujhe to ye samajh mein nahi aata sale band ande mein ghus kaise jate hai.

Man: black colour ka bulb dena?

Man: black colour ka bulb dena?






Dukandar:
kaha lagana hai?





Man: kuch nai woh dopahar ko bulb jalakar andhera kar ke sona hai

Wife:sunoG Kaam krte waqt mere

Wife:sunoG Kaam krte waqt mere ko baho me mat lia karo
Tabi Kamwali boli:

Madam achhi Tarah se samjha do,mai to bol-bol ke thak gai..

2 cockroachs sittin in a toilet

2 cockroachs sittin in a toilet, eatin potty.1 said 2 another :- yaar mujhe potty aa rahi hai.Othr said:- yaar khane ke time to aisa baat mat kar!!
"!;-)!"

santa & banta

Santa:Duniya mei sabse dukhi aadmi kaun hai?
Banta:Bechare Rickshaw wale!
Santa:Kaise?
Banta:Q ki ladki kunwari ho ya married "BHAIYA" hi bulati ha

Santa pi kr Scoter pe 1 Arthi Se takra Gya,

Santa pi kr Scoter pe 1 Arthi Se takra Gya,
dead body gir Gyi Log Sante ko Pitne lage,
SANTA- Jo Gir gaya Usse To Punch lo Jyada Chont to nhi lagi.

Wife-janu, kash aap msz hote,

Wife-janu, kash aap msz hote,main aapko save karti,jab chahe padhti
Husband- kanjus,save hi karke rakhti ya apni kisi saheli ko forward bhi karti?

GAAV me BIJALI aane wali h sunkr log nach rhe

GAAV me BIJALI aane wali h sunkr log nach rhe the.
1 KUTTA b jum rha tha.Logo ne pucha,tu Q khush h?
Wo bola BIJALI aayegi to khambe b to lagenge

Teacher:Bachcho,Aaj Mai Apko Bhag Ke Sawal

Teacher:Bachcho,Aaj Mai Apko Bhag Ke Sawal Sikhaungi
Billu:Mam Mai Bhag Ke Sawal Nahi Kar Sakta,Mera Dam Bhar Jata hai

Baap:Sach btao ye 100 ka note kha se laye

Baap:Sach btao ye 100 ka note kha se laye
Beta:Mjhe gali ME para hua mila.
or agr yaqi na ho to bahr ja k dekh lO,
1 admi Abi tak dhund rahA Hai

Teacher: Aaj Ka Paper Aasaan Tha Ya Mushkil

Teacher: Aaj Ka Paper Aasaan Tha Ya Mushkil
Ravi: Padne Me To Aasaan Tha, Par Karne Me Mushkil.

Mohan:Ladkiya sharab se

Mohan:Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?
Sohan:Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai

A girl come in class with new slipper

A girl come in class with new slipper
.A boy told her: Chappal achhi hai
.Girl replied: Nikalu kya?
Then all boys replied:Teri dress aur bhi achhi hai. --

Santa interview k liye jata hai

Santa interview k liye jata hai. Boss- aapka janm kahan hua hai?
santa- tiruvantpuram.
Boss- spelling batao?
santa- nahi - nahi goa me hua th

Yamraj=Ur Time is Over

Yamraj=Ur Time is Over

Katrina=Kya koi Rasta He Bachne ka?

Yam=Ha!
SMS Padhne wale ko KISS Karo

Katrina=Oh Shit!
Fir to Mujhe Utha Hi Lo. ..

banta & santa

Banta: Aao Chess Khelen
Santa: Mujhe Chess Nahi Aati
Banta: Main Sikha dunga isme Hathi, Ghore Oont khane hai
Santa: Phir to main bilkul nahi khelunga kyonki main shaakahari hun.

banta & santa

Banta Joins Ad Company
Santa: Mere Father ka dehant ho gaya akhbaar me Shok Sandesh dena hai
Banta: Aap Hindustan Kesari me de. isme abhi 1 +1 scheme hai. Aap ke father ke sath aapka free chhap denge

Santa: Dudh ke saath do roti kha raha tha

Santa: Dudh ke saath do roti kha raha tha
guess why?


kyonki Doctor ne kaha tha halka khana lena hai jaise Dudh, Double Roti

santa: Jab me chhota tha tab me is ped pe

santa: Jab me chhota tha tab me is ped pe chad jata tha. banta: wo kaise? santa: tab ye ped bhi chhota tha na yaar...

GF-Chand Kitne Hote He?

GF-Chand Kitne Hote He?
BF-2,Ek Tum Aur Ek Upar



After Marriage:

Bv-Chand Kitne Hote He?

Pati-Andhi Ho?

Wo Uper Kharbooza Nazar Aa raha He ?

1baar Adnan sami k ghar me chor

1baar Adnan sami k ghar me chor aayaAdnan chor K upar baitha Or bola Ramu police ko bulaRamu- Sahab chppl nhi mil rhiCHOR bola-Meri pehen le par Jaldi Jaa.

1 bar santa USA Gya,wahan wo church mai

1 bar santa USA Gya,wahan wo church mai gaya to achank wahn aawaz aai,
'Tann' ittefaq se light bhi chali gai santa dar k bola,oye bhago Undertakr aa gya.... :-

santa & banta

Santa: Office Chal rahe ho kya?
Banta: tu chal main naha dho kar aaya
Santa: Kamaal hai, tu ab dhone jayega, main to potty jata hun tabhi dho leta hun

santa & banta

Santa: kal mera sher se saamna ho gaya
Banta: Phir kay hua
Santa: maine TV band kar di
Banta: Kyon vo to TV Main tha na
Santa: Ye to main samajhata hun, us jaanvar ko kya pata TV h isase bahar nahi nikalte

Santa Banta ki khub pitai hui. Dono kisi

Santa Banta ki khub pitai hui. Dono kisi Birthday Party me muft ka khana khate hue pakde gye the Kehne lage- Hum ladki walo ki taraf se he...

Ek Sardar Restaurant me soup Pi raha Tha.

Ek Sardar Restaurant me soup Pi raha Tha.
Boy : Sardar G Soup Wich Makhi Ae....
Sardar : Dil wadda Kar Yaar. Makhi ne Kina Pee lena ae.

1Machar ki shadi Makkhi se hui ,

1Machar ki shadi Makkhi se hui , Raat ko Machar bahar baitha tha To dusre Machar ne poocha kya hua?
Machar bola "Yaar Teri bhabhi ALL OUT laga ke so rahi hai".

2 frenz aftr exam1st:Xam kaunsa tha?

2 frenz aftr exam1st:Xam kaunsa tha?2nd:May b Maths1st: Matlab tu xam kr k aya h?2nd:Nhi yaar sath wali Ladki k hath me calculatar tha..

Police high alert k time Santa ke ghar talasi lene gai.

Police high alert k time Santa ke ghar talasi lene gai.
Police-Khabar h k apke ghar me Vishfotak samgri h.
Santa-"Sir" vo maike gai hui h.