Santa apni girlfriend ko

Santa apni girlfriend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jaata hai.
Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in Luv

Santa declares: I'll never marry

Santa declares: I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also.

Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.

Nurse- Congrats: Apke jurwa bete hue hain.
Santa: Ye to hona hi tha.
Nurse- Kyon?
Santa: Jab dekho KBC PART-2 dekhti rahti thi, Mil gaya na UMEED SE DUGNA

Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA

Interviewer: Aap kisi MAHILA mein sabse pehle kya dekhte hain?
Santa: O ji, wo is baat par depend karta hai ki woh aa rahi hai ya jaa rahi hai?

Santa: Is operation se mujhe

Santa: Is operation se mujhe kuchh ho gaya to isi doctor se shadi kar Lena.
Jeeto: Aise kyo kah rahe ho?
Santa: Doctor se badla Lene ka yehi 1 rasta hai!

Ek kabutar ne Sante te bitth kar diti

Ek kabutar ne Sante te bitth kar diti. Santa: Oye teri maa ne tainu kachha pauna ni sikhaya?
Kabutar: Saleya tu kachha pa k karda hain?

Santa: Tere result da ki banya?

Santa: Tere result da ki banya?
Pappu: Madam kehndi iss class vich 1saal hor lagna hai.
Santa: Pher theek hai, saal bhaaven 2-3 hor lag jaan, bass fail na hoeen.

Santa: Bhai, har roz murge nal roti

Santa: Bhai, har roz murge nal roti khaidee hai.
Banta: Yaar, Oh kiven?
Santa: Ik burki aap khaidee aae te ik murge nu paayee di hai.

Jeeto: Main tang ya. Tusi

Jeeto: Main tang ya. Tusi hamesha Mera Ghar, Meri car, mera beta, bus Mera Mera hi karde ho, kadi Sadda vi keha karo, hun almari vichon ki lab rahe ho?
Santa: Sadda Kachcha.

Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend

Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.

Bante di wife nu daaku chuk k ley gaye.

Bante di wife nu daaku chuk k ley gaye. Sarean ne keha daaku khatarnaak ne, khali haath na jawin wife nu bachaun. Banta 2-kg Amb ley Gaya.

Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich

Master: Kaka tenu pata hai ki teri umar wich Gandhi Ji, BA kar chuke si?
Santa: Sir tuhadi umar vich Bhagat Singh faansi v chad chuke si.

Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.

Santa: Mere mummy ne kal murga banaya.
Banta: Kinu, tenu ke tere bapu nu?

Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?

Santa-Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.

Baniye shayar ne arz kiya.
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha itna TAJ par Kambakht, Har din ek nayi Mumtaz aa jati us kharche ke BYAAZ par.

Samundar de kande baithe han

Samundar de kande baithe han, Kadi tan lehar aaogi,
Kismat badle na badle, CHAPPAL TAN DHOTI JAUGI, So always think positive.

Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek

Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!

Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine

Jeeto: Doctor ne mujhe ek mahine ka aaram aur kisi Hill station par jaane ko kaha hai, hum kaha jayenge?
Santa: Kisi Dusrey Doctor ke paas!!!

Santa, Banta & Bobby were going

Santa, Banta & Bobby were going on a motorcycle. Policeman gives hand to stop.
Santa shouted: Oye pagal, pehle hi 3 bethe hain tu kahan baithega?

Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?

Teacher: Light Kitho Aandi Hai?
Pappu: Mere Nankeya De Gharon.
Teacher: Kinwe?
Pppu: Jado Light Jandi Hai Papa Kehndy ne `Saleya ne Pher cut ti.

Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne

Teacher: Aasmaan mein udne wali chiz Ande deti hai, Aur zameen pe rahne wali Bachche deti hai. Kaun c chiz aisse hai jo Aasmaan me udti hai par Bache Zameen par deti hai?
Santa: Airhostess !

Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO

Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon?
Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...

Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa

Banta: Life ko kaun zyada achhaa bana sakti hai, Girlfriend ya Wife?
Santa: WIFE. Bas, honi kisi aur ki chahiye!

# Teacher: Asman me udne

Teacher: Asman me udne wali chiz ande deti hai, jamin pe rahne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai jo Asman me udti hai par bachche jamin par deti he?
Santa: Airhostess!

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par plz muje marna nahi.
Santa: Bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu!
Santa: It's a gud News.
Jeeto: Shadi k pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

Teacher: Aisi kisi jagah ka naam

Teacher: Aisi kisi jagah ka naam batao jise banaya to aadmi ne hai par fir bhi wo wahan par ja nahi sakta? Papu: LADIES TOILET!

Banta k ghar ladka hua

Banta k ghar ladka hua, par wo phir bhi dukhi tha?? Kyon?
Itne saalo baad, itni manato k baad ladka hua wo bhi chhota sa...!

Bante de ghar buddi mar gayi.

Bante de ghar buddi mar gayi. Saare kehan lagge: Bebe mainu lai jaandi! Mainu lai jaandi!
Banta vichon uthh ke kehenda: Saaleo! Bebe ne SUMO kiti hoi si ki?

Santa: Rab j tu mainu 100 rs

Santa: Rab j tu mainu 100 rs deve ta 50 main Guru Ghar devanga. Thodi dur ja k usnu 50 rs lab gaye.
Santa: Wah rabba ena v Bhrosa ni, apne pehle hi kat laye...

Banta mujra dekhne gaya,

Banta mujra dekhne gaya, sari raat mujra dekha.
Bai ne kaha: Sahab humne aap ko khush kiya, ab aap hume khush karo.
Banta utha or khud nachne laga.. Gud Night.

Pappu: Dad, main itna jawan

Pappu: Dad, main itna jawan kab banunga k main mummy ko bina bataye ghar se bahar ja sakoon.
Santa: Beta, itna jawan to aaj tak main bhi nahi hua...

Amli: Doctar ji tuhanu

Amli: Doctar ji tuhanu tankay lagonay aunde hun?
Dr: Haan ji, daso kithay lagonay ne?
Amli: Aa lo ji chapal te la do...!

Inspector to Banta: Faansi

Inspector to Banta: Faansi se pehle, bata teri antim ichha kya hai?
Banta: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k faansi de do..!

Pappu: Ajj madam ne 1 swaal puchhya

Pappu: Ajj madam ne 1 swaal puchhya jisda jawab sirf mainu hi pata si.
Santa: Mera biba beta, ki swaal si?
Pappu: Swaal si k blackboard kol susu kine kita hai?

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

Dr: Yeh urine sample nahi,

Dr: Yeh urine sample nahi, Apple juice hai!
Santa's wife: Ek phone kar loon? !
Dr: Why? !
Wife: Santaji ko batana hai k urine bottle unke tiffin me chali gayi.

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, Jeher bharwane aya hoga

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo. Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo

Santa bada dukhi tha,

Santa bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Santa: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use pehchan nahin pa raha