Bhakt: Bhagwn mujhe Drd do, Dukh do,

Bhakt: Bhagwn mujhe Drd do, Dukh do, Tension do,Mujhe Barbad kardo, Mere piche har muskil laga do..
Bhgwn: Abe sale sidha- bolna, tujhe ek "grlfrnd" chahiye……

banta & santa

Banta: yaar me kal Bitch per ghoomane gaya tha.
Santa: Ajib baat hai, tu kutti per baith kar ghoomane gaya phir bhi usne katta nahi

Accident hua, bheed ho gayi!

Accident hua, bheed ho gayi! Santa ko age aane ka mouka nhi mil raha tha! Santa chillaya- Hay mera bapu! Sbne aage jaane diya... Dekha toh Kutta mara pada tha...:)

Pappu- Miss Aap Ne Kal Mujhe

Pappu-
Miss Aap Ne Kal Mujhe
Call Ki Thi

Teacher-
Main Ne To Koi
Call Nahi Ki

Pappu-
To Phir Mere Mobile
Pe Kyu Likha Tha
1 Miss call..

Kaidi- Try karna mujhe umr kaid ho, faansi nahi..

Kaidi- Try karna mujhe umr kaid ho, faansi nahi..
Santa- Dont worry!
After court-
Kaidi- Kya hua?
Santa- Bahut mushkil se umr kaid mili hai.. Saale riha kar rahe the!!!!!!! ;-)

Banta In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir ko

Banta In art gallery: ye bhynak tasvir ko aap modern art kahte hai?
Art Dealer: Mere bap tu dimag mat laga ghar ja, ye aaina hai...

Sonu- Abe, Tune School Aana Q Chhod Diya

Sonu- Abe, Tune School Aana Q Chhod Diya

Monu- Yaar, Actually Mere Dad Keh Rahe The Ke
1 Jagah Bar Bar Jane Se Izzat Kam Ho Jati Hai

Pappu: Papa Iron kyon kar rahe ho

Pappu: Papa Iron kyon kar rahe ho
Santa: Iron karne se salwat nikal jaate hain
Pappu: Phir to bahoo achha Papa main Dadaji ke Gaal ke salwat nikaal dunga

Banta Bank Manager se

Banta Bank Manager se
Mera Loan pass kar do
Manager: Is file per wajan nahi hai
Banta: Apna joota rakh deta hai, aur poochhata hai mera loan pass ho jayega

Biwiya apne pati ko"A.G" Q kehti hai?

Biwiya apne pati ko"A.G" Q kehti hai?Q k biwiya izzatdar hoti hai,bahar bazar me"ABE GADHE"Nahi bol sakti isiliye short me AG bolti hai

Teacher:Children whom do u hate The most?

Teacher:Children whom do u hate The most?
LKG Boy:Rajaram Mohan Roy.
Teacher: oh God!! Y do U hate him?

LKG Boy:He abolished Child Marriage

ladki ka baap-tum mere ladki se kitne mahine se pyaar karte ho.

ladki ka baap-tum mere ladki se kitne mahine se pyaar karte ho.


Boy-char mahine se .

Baap-main kaise maanu.

Boy-aur paanch mahine ruko,yakin ho jaayega

Tution sir:

Tution sir:
Abey Gadhey, Homework kyun nahi karta hai tu!

Modern Student:
Tameez Se Baat Kar, Saale Customer se aise baat karte hai kya?..?

Lalu: Vidwaano ne kaha hai Ki "MURKH KI

Lalu: Vidwaano ne kaha hai Ki "MURKH KI BIWI BAHUT SUNDAR HOTI HAI.
Rabadi: "Dhat! Aapke paas to hamaar taarif k alawa kauno kaam nahi hai!..

1 gareeb ladke ki shaadi ho rhi thi.

1 gareeb ladke ki shaadi ho rhi thi.
Pandit: kaho main apni patni koo apna sab kuch dene ki shapat leta hun...
peeche se awaaz aayi "lo bechaare ki cycle bhi gye"...

Santa Delhi se Meerut ja raha hota hai

Santa Delhi se Meerut ja raha hota hai
Suddenly Santa bolta hai: Jaldi chalao, fast nahi to hame kachhe raste se jana parega
Driver: Kyon
Santa: are bewkoof padha nahi, Ye sarak to Haridwar jaane wali hai, pata nahi kabh chali jaye

Feron k waqt Pandit n mehmano s puchha: Kisi ko

Feron k waqt Pandit n mehmano s puchha: Kisi ko iss shaadi pe aitraaz to nahi?
1 shaks: Mujhe hai !
Pandit: Tum chup raho, Tum dulhe ho!

History Teacher : From where to where did

History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals ruled?
Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.

Muhbt Nakam ho Jaye Tab Bhi Anso Nikaltay Hyn.

Muhbt Nakam ho Jaye Tab Bhi Anso Nikaltay Hyn.
Or Agr Muhbt Kamayab Ho Jaye Tab Bhi Anso Hi Nikaltay Hain

ek admi ped ki dal par har roj beth

ek admi ped ki dal par har roj beth jat tha aur wo pagal ho chuka tha bato kyon







kyonki usne mba ki thi apne ko branch manager samjt tha

father:jao beta meray liye ek glass pani ley k ao.

father:jao beta meray liye ek glass pani ley k ao.
beta:abu mein nai jasakta, mein game khel raha hun.
2nd beta:choreye abu ye to hai he batamez






















aap khudi ja k pe lein

ek larki ney pathan sey kaha

ek larki ney pathan sey kaha
"kiya aap ko pata hai aj womens day hai"
pathan ney ghabra k kaha:
"kamal hai, jab hum ghar sey nikala tab to friday tha";-)

Premi to premika- "Darling mujhe tumhari aankhon

Premi to premika- "Darling mujhe tumhari aankhon me saari duniya dikhai deti hai.."
Peeche se ek budhha bola- "Hamari gaiyya nahi mil rahi.. Dikhe to batai.." ;-)

adam: Hi darling!

adam: Hi darling!
Eve: Bolo.
Adam: Do you love me?
Eve: No, never.
Adam: Why?
Eve: abbe ! mere paas option kahan hai??? ( There is no other option!!!)

santa & banta

Santa: Kahan se bol rahe ho?
Banta: Mobile se.
Santa: Main puchh raha hun konsi jaga se bol rahe ho.
Banta: Muhn se bol raha hun.

banta & santa

Banta to Santa: Tumhaare income ka source kya hai
Santa: Maine apne upper ka portion kisi ko rahane kiraye par diya hai
Banta:kamaal hai wo pure din tumaher upper kaise rahata hai

Preeto: me bahar ja rahi hun aapke liyer coocker me

Preeto: me bahar ja rahi hun aapke liyer coocker me khichari set kar di hai, 2 2 siti laga kar kha lena.
Santa: Muhn se 2 siti laga kar coocker kholta hai aur bolta hai lagata aaj usne mujhe oollu bana diya

NURSE-AAPKE JUDWA BACHCHE HUE HAIN.

NURSE-AAPKE JUDWA BACHCHE HUE HAIN. SANTA-YE TO HONA HI THA.PROGRAMME HI AISE HI DEKHTI THI-KBC2,INDIAL IDOL2.DHOOM2. NURSE-ACHCHHA HUA K DELHI6 NAHI DEKHI.

GADHE k samne 1 PANI ki, 1 DARU ki BALTI rakhi.

GADHE k samne 1 PANI ki, 1 DARU ki BALTI rakhi.

GADHA PANI P gaya.
POLICE ne SHARABI se puchha:tune isse kya seekha?

SHARABI:jo DARU nahi pita Wo GADHA hai

American ne India ka masaledaar

American ne India ka masaledaar dinner liya,Agli subah toilet se nikalte hi bola,Ab samjha Indians Q paani se dhote Hai,Tissue paper to aag pakad lega....

Boy:Mai tumhare liye sab chhod dunga

Boy:Mai tumhare liye sab chhod dunga
Girl:Maa,Papa? Boy:Haan
Girl:Apne Dost?
Boy:Haan
Girl: daru?
Boy: Didi ghar jao, Aapke papa parishan ho rahe honge.;-)

Santa: Biscuit ka packet kharid kar do barabar

Santa: Biscuit ka packet kharid kar do barabar- barabar tor raha tha

puchha kyon

Santa: Pretto ne bola tha 50- 50 Biscuit lane hai

Power house company ki job hai

Power house company ki job hai
salary Rs 45,000 /-
karni hai to reply karein.?
jayada mehant ka kam nahi
Bus




bijali ke Nange taro par gila kapda marna he..

Power house company ki job hai

Power house company ki job hai
salary Rs 45,000 /-
karni hai to reply karein.?
jayada mehant ka kam nahi
Bus




bijali ke Nange taro par gila kapda marna he..

Jyoitishi: Tere upper shani ki dash hai 1100/

Jyoitishi: Tere upper shani ki dash hai 1100/ do, dasha hata dunga
Banta: Mere pass nahi hai
Jyotishi: To 101/ de do
Banta: Nahi hai
Jyotishi: 11/ de do
Banta: Abhi to nahi hai
Jyotishi: phir chinta mat karo Rahu Ketu Shani tino milkar bhi tumhara kya bigaar lenge

Ladki_ maa...

Ladki_ maa...
ye padosi ka ladka mujhe baar baar kiss kar k bhag jata hai maa muskura ke boli_bada shararti hai... bilkul apne baap par gaya hai

Physics ka bhi baap:..Question:- Which liquid turns 2 solid

Physics ka bhi baap:..Question:- Which liquid turns 2 solid on heating..???...........................Ans:- BESAN KE PAKODE.

Girl- Ye ratein Ye hawaein Ye chandni Ye ghataye

Girl- Ye ratein Ye hawaein Ye chandni Ye ghataye Ye nadiya Ye kinare Boyfnd-Abe Tu pyar kr rahi he ya mausam ki jankari de rahi Hai .

Machhar apne pote se-beta hmare jmane me khoon

Machhar apne pote se-beta hmare jmane me khoon choosna itna aasan nhi hota tha.
Pota-Q
Dada- Kyonki us jmane me ldkiya pure kapde jo pahankar soti thi.

Santa ki Maa Ki tabiyat kharab thi,

Santa ki Maa Ki tabiyat kharab thi, Hospital gaye to Doctor ne kaha ki "Test" Hongi. Santa: Inki umar zyada hai test nahi One-Day ya T-20 karwa lo

Biwi, husband se- Tumhe mere rishtedaar

Biwi, husband se- Tumhe mere rishtedaar pasand nahi!Husband: Kya baat kar rahe ho! Mujhe apni saas se achhi tumhaari saas lagti hai!

Santa Ki Gf Romantic Mood mai thi usne

Santa Ki Gf Romantic Mood mai thi usne santa se kaha mere gahr koi nahi hai aa jaao
Santa-tu mere ghar aajamere ghar sab log hain.Tera man lag jaayega.

banta & santa

Banta: chal bahar chalte hai, taazi hawa kha kar aate hai
Santa: Tu chal me Chammaj Plate lekar aaya

changu- yaar mangu bahut der se

changu- yaar mangu bahut der se neend nahi aa rahi hai.
mangu- koi baat nahi tu uska wait mat kar aur so ja.

Circuit: ßhai Jail Ko Hindi Me Hawalaat kyun Kehte Hain,? Bhai: Kyunki Jail Mein Khane Ko Sirf Hawa Aur Laat Hi Milti Hai."

Circuit: ßhai Jail Ko Hindi Me Hawalaat kyun Kehte Hain,?


Bhai: Kyunki Jail Mein Khane


Ko Sirf Hawa Aur Laat Hi Milti Hai."

Santa: 1 Kg Pakora dena

Santa: 1 Kg Pakora dena
Halwai ne jaise hi tel me garm karke nikala
Santa: Abe kanjoos, Pani me dho ke de raha hai, kuch surf saboon to dal deta

Bacha: Miss hamary ghar aaj bhai anay wala hay.

Bacha: Miss hamary ghar aaj bhai anay wala hay.

Miss: wo kasay?

Bacha: jab phichli bar ammi hospital main admit theen tu behan aae thi
Ab abu admit hain…

Girl:Tum Hafte Main Kitni Bar Shave Karte Ho?

Girl:Tum Hafte Main Kitni Bar Shave Karte Ho?
Boy: Hafte Main Nahi, Din Main 30 Se 40 Baar.
Girl: Kya. . . ! Tum Pagal Ho?Boy: Nhi, Main "NAAYI" Hoon.

santa & banta

Santa-Tum Meri Shadi Mai Aaoge Na?

Banta-Mai Un Logo Mai Se Nahi,

Jo Musibat Ke Waqt Dost ko Akela Chhod De.

Main Zarur Aaunga.

1truck dusre truck ko rassi se bandh kr le ja rha tha

1truck dusre truck ko rassi se bandh kr le ja rha tha Ye dekh kr santa hans-hans k lotpot ho gaya or bola- Ek rassi ko le jane K liye 2-2 truck... ud mooorning

Santa Mobile Shop me : 1 Memory card Daal dena

Santa Mobile Shop me : 1 Memory card Daal dena
Shopkeeper Man: Mobile Dena
Santa: Mobile me nahi meri hi yaadast kamjor hai mere dimaag me daal do

Santa & banta

Santa: Upperwale ki daya se teen larkiyon ke baad mere larka hua hai
Banta: Yaar tumhare upper kaun rahata hai

Ek bar 300 phatan ship mein travel kar rahay the

Ek bar 300 phatan ship mein travel kar rahay the
lakin sare k sare mar gayeee
kaise?
nothing serious
ship bich mein kharab ho gai
tu dhaka denay neachey uttar gayeeeeee

judge: u are crossing your limit.

judge: u are crossing your limit.
Lawyer: kaun saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: hoe dare u calling me saala?
Lawyer: my lord i said kaun sa law aisa

Pakistani to American: Tum choron k sath

Pakistani to American: Tum choron k sath kya Salook karte ho?
American: Hum unke sath bohat acha salook karte hain. Un k khany peeney ki her cheez ka khayal rakhte hain.
Pakistani: Bas! ye to kuch bhi nahi, Tum abhi hum se bohat peechay ho.
Hum to choron ko President bana dete hain.

Rancho : "1 Over me kitni Ball Fenki jati hai??"

Rancho : "1 Over me kitni Ball Fenki jati hai??"
Virus : "6 Balls"
Rancho : "Galat Jawab, 1 Over me 1 hi Ball 6 times fanki jati hai."
Think Differnt.

banta & santa

Banta khana bana raha tha aur pucha 'namak kidar hai'?
Santa : namak nahi hai.
Banta : toh Dal mein kya daalu?
Santa : "COLGATE" dalo, usme Namak hai.

Ravan to Doctor: Dr saheb mujhe kai dino se

Ravan to Doctor: Dr saheb mujhe kai dino se loose motion ki shikayat ho rahi hai.
Doctor: wo to hona hi tha "Dus input aur ek output."
bhala kaise nahi hoga.

banta & santa

Banta: Ek sar dard ki goli dena

Santa Chemist: Thora sochane ke baad, Sar dard hone ki to koi goli nahi aati

Santa park me baitha tha.

Santa park me baitha tha.

Friend:Kya kar raha hai ?

Santa:Badla le Raha hu !

Frnd:Kaise?

Santar: waqt Ne mujhe barbad kiya hai,ab mai waqt barbad kar raha

Santa: Beta 2 Bistar kyun lagaye?

Santa: Beta 2 Bistar kyun lagaye?
Son: Ghar Pe 2 Guest ane hai.Santa: Kaun?
Son: Mummy ka Bhai aur mera Mama
.Santa: Fir 1 or laga, Mera Sala bhi aa rha hai!

santa banta

Santa: Agar Bhagwan tumhe 1 wish de or Paise or akl me 1 leno ho to tu kya le.
Banta: Isme puchhna kya hai me Akl lunga
Santa: Achha jiske pass jo cheej nahi ho wohi lena chahiye

Veeru: Iss Gabbar ka kya kare??

Veeru: Iss Gabbar ka kya kare??


Jai: Isse sui chubo chubo ke maar do aur sui iske side mein rakh do...
police samjhegi "Sui-cide" ka cae hai........!!!

DO SHARBI RAT KO..

DO SHARBI RAT KO..
1ST.YAR KITNE BAJE HAI
2ND.PATHAR UTAYA AUR GHAR KI KIDKI PER MARA TO KACNH TUT GAYA
...
UPER SE BUDHI BOLI
..
..
..
NALAYKO SO JAO RAT KE 2 BAJE HAI

Your relation is like paktel “dil to 1 hay” Your Ove like telenor

Your relation is like paktel “dil to 1 hay” Your Ove like telenor “Chaho kuch barh k” Your sincerety like Haleeb “garah to hay” Your smile like twist “Hila k rakh de” your style like Ufone “Tum hi to ho” Your personality lika...

Load Shedding K Fawaaid: Generator,

Load Shedding K Fawaaid: Generator,UPS & Candle Walo Ko Rozgar Ki Farahmi Bijli Ka Bill Kam Aiga Mobile Charge Na Hone Se Balance & Time Saving TV Na Dakhnay Say Gunaho Ma Kami Sabr Karney Ki Waja Se Jannat Mein Jaaney K Ziyada Imkanat (A Public...

Zarori Ilan! 1st Dec, se bijli bilkul khatam ho jay gi,

Zarori Ilan! 1st Dec, se bijli bilkul khatam ho jay gi, 1st Dec se tamam log apnay apnay UPS wapda k kissi bhi office se recharge karwa saktay hain. Shukria.

1st girl

1st girl
, main to usss se shadi karon gi jo handsome ho oor tum?
2nd girl,
main to uss say shadi karon gi jis k han UPS laga ho . :)

1 Angraiz PAKISTAN aya URDU sekhnay. Kuch arsey baad

1 Angraiz PAKISTAN aya URDU sekhnay. Kuch arsey baad wo wapas gaya to logo ne kaha k kya sekha? ! ! ! Angraiz ne kaha "BiJLI CHALI GAYI" "BiJLI A GAYI"

BREAKING NEWS Hakumat ne Ailaan kiya hai 2009-2010 BREAKING NEWS Hakumat ne Ailaan kiya hai 2009-2010

BREAKING NEWS Hakumat ne Ailaan kiya hai 2009-2010 mein new shadi shuda jorey BIJLI peda karenge. Bache nahi Q k Mulk me Bijli ki kami hai Bachon ki NAHI.

Fact of Class Room: Jab Professor Tumhain Class Se

Fact of Class Room: Jab Professor Tumhain Class Se Baahar Nikal Dey To Samajh Lo K Tum Taraqqi Kar Rahe Ho. Coz He Might be Afraid That You Know More Than Him! Be Positive.

EK VILLAGE KI AURAT CHEQUE CASH KARANE GAYI

EK VILLAGE KI AURAT CHEQUE CASH KARANE GAYI
CLERK;SIGN KRO
AURAT:KAISE?
CLERK:JAISE KHAT K END ME LIKHTI HO.
AURAT NE SIGN KIYA "TOHAR MUNNE KI AMMA"

teacher 2 santa-tum me kuch kamiya hai

teacher 2 santa-tum me kuch kamiya hai
santa next day coat pant pehan k aata hai
teacher- what is this?
santa-raymond,the complete man.

1 pagal aadmi bahut der se chand ko dekh rha tha.

1 pagal aadmi bahut der se chand ko dekh rha tha.
aur thodi der baad bola jalte raho beta,
jab bijli ka bill aayega tab pata chalega.

santa & banta

Santa - "Aisi konsi chiz hai jo Lal hai or trin trin karti hai."
Banta - "Telephone"
Santa - "Galat"
Banta - "to phir"
Santa - "Tamatar.... trin trin to confuse karne ke liye bola tha."

Profeser : Tum 20 Saal ki Ladki se Shadi karoge ya tumse 20 saal badi ladki se...?

Profeser : Tum 20 Saal ki Ladki se Shadi karoge ya tumse 20 saal badi ladki se...?
Student : Sir Depend karta hai ki kaun jyada khubsurat hai, apki Beti ya apki bivi....

Teacher:Bada Ho K Kya Banoga

Teacher:Bada Ho K Kya Banoga


Santa:Pilot

Tcher:Q


S:Upar Accedent Ka Khatra Nhi Hota

anta tapasya karta hai

Santa tapasya karta hai

Bhagwan: var mango vats
Santa: Ye kya kiya aapne, me to vadhu ke liye tapsya kar raha tha

agal chinese se: tum american ho?

Pagal chinese se: tum american ho?
Chinese: nhi main chinese hu!
Pagal: nhi tum american ho.
chinese gusse me: haan main american hu Pagal: lagte to chinese ho.

1 Elaan ho raha tha - "Ek Baccha mila hai,

1 Elaan ho raha tha - "Ek Baccha mila hai, Jin ka hai aa kar le jaye."
Santa aya aur kehne laga - "Mujhe bhi dikhao JIN ka bacha kaisa hota hai...."

1 ladka - "Mere Papa itne lambe hai

1 ladka - "Mere Papa itne lambe hai ki khade khade chalte FAN ko rok dete hai."
2 ladka - "Mere papa bhi lambe hai, lekin aisi chutia harkate nhi karte."

Teacher-"Aise koi 5 animal ke naam

Teacher-"Aise koi 5 animal ke naam batao jo pani me rahte hai.."
Student:-"Fish,
Fish ki Mummy,
Fish ke Papa,
Fish ka bhai,
Fish ki Sister..."

banta & santa

Banta: Me naya FM Radio laya hun ye chalata bahut achha hai
Santa: Abe ghonchu, mujhe bewakoof mat bana, ye chalega kaise iske to panv hi nahi hai

santa & banta

Santa: Bakri se door bhag raha tha
Banta: Bhag kyon rahe ho
Santa: Mere Papa ne kaha tha mere dimag me bhoosa bhara hai, soch raha hun kahin ye kha na jaye

Examiner:y r u under tension?

Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?

studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have brought tomorrow
exam’s pharray (Cheating material) today:-)

sholay.ki team ne ipl me hissa liya

sholay.ki team ne ipl me hissa liya


gabber k bowlers ne 20 over me 350 run diye &usme extras 200 run diye.

batao kyu?


q ki wicket keeper thakur tha

Doctor-"Kamjori hai, Fruite khaya karo chilke sahit."

Doctor-"Kamjori hai, Fruite khaya karo chilke sahit."
after 1 hour,,,
Santa-"Mere Pet me Dard ho raha hai."
Doctor-"Kya khaya tha..?"
Santa-"Nariyal chilke sahit...."

According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??

According to Gabbar, Sher Ka Bacha Kaun hai??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

ANS:
HOLI.
.
How?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Coz....
He Keeps Saying...
"Holi CUB hai,
CUB hai Holi...."

Pathan Apne 1 Saal K Bache Ko Hosptal Le Kr Gya

Pathan Apne 1 Saal K Bache Ko Hosptal Le Kr Gya

Dr: Isko Koi Sakht Cheez To Nai Khelai?

Pathan: Nai Kal Yeh Bohat Ro Rha Tha To Bas 1 Chutki Naswar Di Thi

Santa galati se Sansad me chala gaya wanha upper kursi pe baithe huye se pucha

Santa galati se Sansad me chala gaya wanha upper kursi pe baithe huye se pucha

Tum kaun ho ho?
usne jawab diya : ME Speaker hun
Santa: jor se bola, to phir me Loud Speaker hun

Santa: RIM ka connection lene gaya C

Santa: RIM ka connection lene gaya
Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.
Santa: 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai roj khulle kahan se launga
Call rate bataye
1 pase per sec.
50 paise per min.
1 rupee per 3 min.
Santa: 1 rupee wala hi sahi hai roj khulle kahan se launga

Santa: Office jate waqt Rumal, Chasma & Mobile

Santa: Office jate waqt Rumal, Chasma & Mobile bhool gaya
Niche se wife ko bala de do
Wife ne Chasma phenka toot gaya, Mobile phenka toot gaya

Santa: Tum rahne do me rumaal lene upper hi aa raha hun

1 Pathan chilkay samait KELA kha raha tha

1 Pathan chilkay samait KELA kha raha tha

kisi ne usko toka

Is ko cheel to lo

Pathan bola: cheelne ka kya zarorat hai hum ko malum hy

is K andar KELA hi ha!

Wahan Ja K Khoob Naacha,

GOLU England Mai Club Me Chala Gaya,

Wahan Ja K Khoob Naacha,

Dance Karny K Bad Bola,

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

O Yara Koi Hum Ko Ye To Bataye K Ye SHADI Kis Ka Hai

Master To Student:

Master To Student:
A B C D Se Shuru Honay Walay Alphabets Se Sentence Banao.?

Student:

A=Apni
B=Beti ka
C=Cell Number
D=Dijiye

DUKANDAAR: iss bori pay mat baithna, phat jaye gi!

DUKANDAAR: iss bori pay mat baithna, phat jaye gi!

Gahak: kyun, iss main Ghubaray hain?

Dukandaar: nahi… "KEEL" hain

Police to Santa : "Tumhara Dost kaise mara?"

Police to Santa : "Tumhara Dost kaise mara?"
Santa : "O ji Mai kuch nahi janta, Usne to yehi kaha tha-Mere Pat me Chuhe kud rahe hai. to Mene use Chuhe Mar

Ap jeet chuke hen 50Laakh Ab 1crore 1jawab ki duri pe?

Ap jeet chuke hen 50Laakh Ab 1crore 1jawab ki duri pe?
Or 1crore ka Sawal ab ap ki Screen pe
‘KIYA AP NY MASJID SE NEW SHOES CHORI KARNA CHOR DIYE?

A=yes
B=No

Pathan Girlfriend k sath date pe gaya,

Pathan Girlfriend k sath date pe gaya,
Ahista se bola
Mery dil mein ek bat hy mgar kehty huy
Ghbrata hon

Girl:kaho na,
Plz Keh do na
Pathan:
Wo
Wo
Wo
.
.
.
.

Tmhry pas

Bacha : Papa mujhe baaja dilao,

Bacha : Papa mujhe baaja dilao,
PAPA : Nahe tum sabko tang karo ge.
Bacha : Nahe papa kasam se jab sab so jayenge tab mein bajaoonga.

santa & banta

Santa: Mujhe kamjori mehsoos ho rahi hai
Banta: Tum bharpoor desi ghee khao
1- 2 din baad
Banta: ab kaise ho
Santa: Waise hi hoon, Bharpoor Brand ka koi ghee aata hi nahi

GF-Chand kahan hai? BF-Chand do hai, 1 tum aur 1 upar.

GF-Chand kahan hai? BF-Chand do hai, 1 tum aur 1 upar.
After Marriage:Biwi- Chand kaha hai? Pati-Andhi hai? wo upar kya tera Baap CFL jala k baitha hai.:-|

Banta calls FM radio: I'v found sm1 named Kamaljit's wallet wid Rs. 15K.

Banta calls FM radio: I'v found sm1 named Kamaljit's wallet wid Rs. 15K.
RJ: Sir! U wnt 2 retrn d wallet?
Banta: Ni pagal! I wnt 2 dedicate a sad song 2 him.;-)

Raat ko Santa P K lauta; Biwi ki daant se bchne k liye bdi si Kitab lekr pdhne lga

Raat ko Santa P K lauta; Biwi ki daant se bchne k liye bdi si Kitab lekr pdhne lga
Biwi-P K aye ho?
Santa-Nahi To!
Biwi-Phir Suitcase khol kr kya bak2 kr rhe ho

k deewar par likha tha 'Yaha kutte susu karte hain' Santa ne waha susu kiya.

Ek deewar par likha tha 'Yaha kutte susu karte hain' Santa ne waha susu kiya. Fir muskura kar bola-ise kehte hai dimaag, susu maine kiya naam kutte ka aaya.

Race dekhte Hue

Race dekhte Hue
GOLU ne Pucha:"Inam kisko milega?"
MOLU:Sub se age wale ko.
GOLU:To phir piche wale kyu bhag rahe hain?

golu-madam aap murgi hai kya teacher- q

golu-madam aap murgi hai kya teacher- q
golu -aap mujhe hamesha test mein anda deti hain

Ladke wale ladki dekhne gaye.

Ladke wale ladki dekhne gaye.
Ladk ne Ladki se pucha:"Aapko KHANA BANANA aata hai "?
Ladki : " Nahi mujhe to BANANA KHANA aata hai..!!

Motorway police:KHAN ap 180 Kì speed

Motorway police:KHAN ap 180 Kì speed
sy kyn ja rahy ho
KHAN:Tm logn ny he to side waly
board pe likha hy:
YAD RAKHN GHR PE KOI AP KA INTIZR KR RHA HY ;->
( -_-)

Maa: Aaj school se itni jaldi aagaye?

Maa: Aaj school se itni jaldi aagaye?
Son: Machar maara to teacher ne chutti de di.
Maa: Aisa kyon?
Son: Machar teacher k gaal per betha tha.

`1 Punjabi buji hue cigerrete pi rha tha

`1 Punjabi buji hue cigerrete pi rha tha
.
.
Pathan ne pocha ye Kaise pi rahe ho
Dhuwan to nikal nhi rha.
Punjabi bola: Pagal cigrate CNG pe hy.

2 Arabi ek doosre ko arabi main galiyan de rahe thay

2 Arabi ek doosre ko arabi main galiyan de rahe thay
, Qareeb se guzarte hoye pathan ne unse kaha… Qaari Sahab, Hamare liye bhi dua karna.

Ek lady train se utri, ek pathan se poocha ye konsa station hai?

Ek lady train se utri, ek pathan se poocha ye konsa station hai?

Pathan ne socha… socha… socha… socha… socha phir bola

“Baji ye Railway Station hai”

Beta: Kya is martaba abbu election me khare ho rahe hain?

Beta: Kya is martaba abbu election me khare ho rahe hain?
Maa: Wo mere saamne toh khare ho nahi sakte….
Élection me kya khare honge ?

Pathan ki 2 Bevian Lar pari.

Pathan ki 2 Bevian Lar pari.
Aik boli k Aaj sunday Hay.
Or 2nd boli ni.
Aaj Mondy Hay.
PATHAN Tang Aa k Bola






Mai kya Pagal Hun.
Jo Juma parh k Aya Hun.

PARROT TOOK HIS PREGNANT WIFE

PARROT TOOK HIS PREGNANT WIFE TO HOSPITAL 4 DELIVERY. AFTER AN HOUR DOCTOR COMES OUT.
PARROT ASKS, "KYA HUA?"

DOC : "KYA HOGA, POPAT HOGA"

Beta- yeh hathiyaar kya hota hai?

Beta- yeh hathiyaar kya hota hai?
papa-beta hathiyaar woh hota hai,jisse hum ladte hain
.beta- isska matlab mummy hathiyaar hain..gud afnoon

Beta - "Apki Love Marriage hui thi na."

Beta - "Apki Love Marriage hui thi na."
Papa - "ha par tumhe kaise pata."
Beta - "Apki Shadi aur meri Date of Birth me sirf 4 mahine ka Farq hai

Policeman:Madam is Pool me nahana mana hai.

Policeman:Madam is Pool me nahana mana hai.
Lady:Jab main Kapde Utar rahi thi tab kyo nahi Bataya.
Policeman:Pabandi Nahane pe hai Kapde utarne pe nahi.

Wife:Dekho na Wo aadmi mujhe Ghur Ghur k Dekh raha hai.

Wife:Dekho na Wo aadmi mujhe Ghur Ghur k Dekh raha hai.
Husband:Are wo toh Bhangarwala hai,Bekar mal psr nazar rakhna Uski aadat hai.

1 dafa 1 chor ne apni mangetar ko sonay ka set dia

1 dafa 1 chor ne apni mangetar ko sonay ka set dia

Mangetar ne khush ho k pocha is set ki kemat kia hai?

Chor ne jawab dia....:

Teen Sal Qaid e Bamushakat...!!!

STU:Sr sb log HINDI ENG. me bolte hai MATHS me kyo ni bolte?

STU:Sr sb log HINDI ENG. me bolte hai MATHS me kyo ni bolte?
........
TCHR:Jyada 3 5 na kr
9 2 11 ho le
Ni to 4 5 dhr dunga to
6 k 36 dikhne lgenge.....

Mareez Doctor Se: Main ek Month se Rs.50 ki

Mareez Doctor Se: Main ek Month se Rs.50 ki Rozana Dawa Khaa Raha hun.
Lekin Mujhe koi Faida Nazar Nahi Aa Raha.

Doctor: Acha to Mai Aapko Kal Se Rs.40 ki Dawai Donga.

Faqeer:Baji ALLAH ke naam per paise do!

Faqeer:Baji ALLAH ke naam per paise do!

Baji:Haramkhor, sharam nahi ati, road per bheeg maangte ho..!

Faqeer:Tere 1 rupay ke liye Office khol loon..!

In 2025 Bhikhari: Bhagwan Ke Naam Pe Kuch De De..

In 2025
Bhikhari: Bhagwan Ke Naam Pe Kuch De De..
Boy: Ye Le Meri MBA Ki Degree Rakh Le.
Bhikhari: Nahi Chahiye, Tujhe Chahiye
To Meri CA Ki Rakh Le...

Santa ne Zoo me sher ka pinjra khula chor diya

Santa ne Zoo me sher ka pinjra khula chor diya
Officer:Tume Sher ka Pinjra Lock ni Kia
Santa:Sir itne khofnack janwar ko kon chori krega?

FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son?

FATHER: How Are Your Grades, Son?
SON: Under Water, Dad.
FATHER: Under Water? What Do You Mean?
SON: They"Re Below C Level

Police: Park Me Romance Karte Ho, Bacho pe kya Asar Parega?

Police: Park Me Romance Karte Ho, Bacho pe kya Asar Parega?

Aadmi: Hum dono Married Hain

Police: To Ghar Me Karo

Aadmi: Tab Iske Husband Par Kya Asar Parega?

Admi: Tum Bahaduri Wala Konsa Kaam Kar Sakte Ho?

Admi: Tum Bahaduri Wala Konsa Kaam Kar Sakte Ho?

Pathan: Mein Saanp Ke Saath Khel Sakta Hoon...

Admi: Woh Kaise??

Pathan: Hamare Mobile Mein Snake Wala Game Jo Hai...

santa & banta

Santa aur banta ne zindagi me pehli baar riksha dekha..

Santa: Dekho Kitna Chota Tanga Hai.

Banta: Haan..

Aur Gadha To Dekho, Aadmi Jaisa Dikhta Hai..

Construction Ke Baad Uper Wale Part Par

Santa Ne Apna Ghar Construct Kiya..

Construction Ke Baad Uper Wale Part Par

Color kiya,

Aur Nechay Wale Part Par Likh Diya






"SAME AS ABOVE"

santa & banta

Santa : Yaar gadha mithai dekhkar kya sochta hoga ?

Banta : Yahi ki "KAASH YAH MITHAI GHAAS HOTI".

Papa beti sa:-

Papa beti sa:-
Beti pehlay to tum mujhey papa kehti thein,
Laik ab tum mujhey DaD kehti ho,kion?
Beti:-
Oh DaD, PaPa kehnay say lipstic kharab hoti hay

Santa kadi chawal kha rha tha ,

Santa kadi chawal kha rha tha ,
ek makhi us par baithne ki koshish kar rahi thi,
ye dekh santa bola- hat hat ye woh nhi hai jo tu samajh rahi hai....

santa & banta

Santa=matlbi dost se bach kr raho
. Banta=magr matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega.
Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.

Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya,

Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya,
lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai,
bahar ka khaana mat khao..

Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.

Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.

Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai... par hum se shaadi karega koun?

husband-talak lena hai,

husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka natija.....

Ek operation ke baad patient bola:

Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
'doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?'

Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to chitrgupt hu...

Dad:result ka kya hua

Dad:result ka kya hua

Son:aba aik good news hai aur aik bad news

Dad:good news bata

Son:mai pass ho gya

Dad:GREAT aur bad news

Son:good news galat hai. ;->

Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,

Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,

Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga...

Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho...

Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se

Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun".

Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.

Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.

Funny Hindi Man: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.

Raja Pervaiz Ashraf:

Raja Pervaiz Ashraf:
Yaar mujhey Mother's Day pe koi Message nhi aaya?
Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me jub Light jati hai,
Log aap ki Maa ko hi yaad kertey hain :

BOY- Mere papa k aage amer se amer log tak katori le ke khade rehte hai.

BOY- Mere papa k aage amer se amer log tak katori le ke khade rehte hai.
GIRL- aise kitne amer ho tum? BOY- Actually papa gol-gappe ki redi lagate hai. :-)

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?
santa : ji meri biwi.
interviewer : aur sab se bdi kamzori?
santa : ji dusre ki BIWI.

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To ..

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To ..

Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Mere Jesi Biwi Nai MilegiDusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga?

Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."

Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."
Banta - "Kya hua?"
Santa - "Jab se Maine kaha 'Dil Cheer ke Dekh tera hi Naam hai' Saali Chaku le ke Piche hi pad gayi hai."

BOY- Mere papa k aage amer se amer log tak katori le ke khade rehte hai.

BOY- Mere papa k aage amer se amer log tak katori le ke khade rehte hai.
GIRL- aise kitne amer ho tum?
BOY- Actually papa gol-gappe ki redi lagate hai. :-)

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?

interviewer to santa : tumhari sabse badi shakti kya hai?
santa : ji meri biwi.
interviewer : aur sab se bdi kamzori?
santa : ji dusre ki BIWI.

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..

Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Dusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga?

santa & banta

Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."
Banta - "Kya hua?"
Santa - "Jab se Maine kaha 'Dil Cheer ke Dekh tera hi Naam hai' Saali Chaku le ke Piche hi pad gayi hai."

Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua?

Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua?
Santa=Mai Hatho Se Patthar Tod rha Tha,
To kisi ne kaha"Paaji kabhi to Dimag Istemal karo"...?

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

K ab kia kro gay?

Pathan

bachpan se aik khuwab hy

k hum apna tandoor khole GA.

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Woh minar-e-pakistan ko apne sar par utha kar peshawar ja sakta hai.

Hazaron log ikthay ho gaye...

Pathan bola: bus isey utha kar mere sar par rakho tum....:-

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??
Pathan: Google Khan

Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!!
Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....

Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate hai..

Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate hai..



Wo likhte hai:---
"Maine to Loot Liya tu bhi Loot le..."

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..

Wife: Pori Dunya Men Chirag Le Kar B Dhundo Ge To Mere Jesi Biwi Nai Milegi..

Husband: Tumhe Kis Ne Kaha K Dusri Bar B Tumhare Jesi He Dhundunga?

Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."

Santa - "Mujhe us Ladki se bachao."
Banta - "Kya hua?"
Santa - "Jab se Maine kaha 'Dil Cheer ke Dekh tera hi Naam hai' Saali Chaku le ke Piche hi pad gayi hai."

Santa Purani Album Dekhte Hua

Santa Purani Album Dekhte Hua

Mummy A Photo Me Tumare Sath Smart Koun He?

Mummy : Yeh Tere Pappa He

Santa>To Hum Is Ganje K Sath

Q Rehte He

Santa:Judg saab,mujhe TALAAQ chahiye,meri biwi ne 1saal se mujhse baat nahi ki

Santa:Judg saab,mujhe TALAAQ chahiye,meri biwi ne 1saal se mujhse baat nahi ki
Judge:1bar phir sochle beta,aisi biwi nasib walon ko milti hE…

patni-agar me ghum ho jau to tum kya karoge....

patni-agar me ghum ho jau to tum kya karoge....
('.')
>) (>
_/ /_

pati- Its the time to disco.
kaun dhundega tujhko, kabhi na mile tu mujhko...

pati patni ki zabardast ladai ke bad patni bhagwan se boli

pati patni ki zabardast ladai ke bad patni bhagwan se boli
"agar ye galat he to inhe uthalo aur agar me galat hu to mujhe vidhwa bana do".

pati patni ki zabardast ladai ke bad patni bhagwan se boli

pati patni ki zabardast ladai ke bad patni bhagwan se boli
"agar ye galat he to inhe uthalo aur agar me galat hu to mujhe vidhwa bana do".

Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua?

Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua?
Santa=Mai Hatho Se Patthar Tod rha Tha
,To kisi ne kaha"Paaji kabhi to Dimag Istemal karo"...?

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

K ab kia kro gay?

Pathan

bachpan se aik khuwab hy

k hum apna tandoor khole GA.

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Woh minar-e-pakistan ko apne sar par utha kar peshawar ja sakta hai.

Hazaron log ikthay ho gaye...

Pathan bola: bus isey utha kar mere sar par rakho tum....:-

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??
Pathan: Google Khan

Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!!
Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....

Mobile Ko Ejaad Karne Wale Ka Sapna Tha K Dunya Me .

Mobile Ko Ejaad Karne Wale Ka Sapna Tha K Dunya Me
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

FAQEER oR BHIKARI K Hath Men B Mobile Ho

MUBARAK HO

Aap Ny uska Sapna Such Kar Dikhaya.

Hsbnd: (in romantic mood):Tum meri zindgi ho....

Hsbnd: (in romantic mood):Tum meri zindgi ho....
Wife: aur kaho achcha lag raha hai....



Hsbnd: aur LANAT hai aisi zindagi pe.....

Pathan ko gali me para 100 ka note mila,

Pathan ko gali me para 100 ka note mila,
Jis pe likha tha
“EID MUBARAK”
Pathan ne chup k se note jeib me rakhte huye kaha
“KHER MUBARAK.

Boy : Maine Suna hai is Ghar Mein Jin Bhot aur Rohain Rehti Hy

Boy : Maine Suna hai is Ghar Mein Jin Bhot aur Rohain Rehti Hy
Pathan : pta Nai
Mje to Khud Mare Hue 8 Sal Hogye
Moral: pathano ko marne k bad B akal nae ati

Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya

Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya
Pathan Gussey me Bolta howa bhaga
Khocha agar tere Bap ka Hakumat nahi hota to tujhe Batata..???

Pathan or Gadhe me 3 Batien Common hain

Pathan or Gadhe me 3 Batien Common hain
1.Bachpan me Dono Khubsurat hote hn
2.Bachpan se hi Mehnati hote hn
3.Bare ho kr Dono Transport ka Kaam kerte hai.

Pathan: Mera yaar aaya hai chai to bana do.

Pathan: Mera yaar aaya hai chai to bana do.
Wife:
Mein nahi bana rahi.
Pathan
Bana de jab tera yaar aaye ga to mein b bana doonga.

1shaikh kangal ho gya to us ny apni BIWI se kaha

1shaikh kangal ho gya to us ny apni BIWI se kaha
bachon ko un k nanky bhej do
R tum apni ami k ghar chali jao
Mera Allah malik
Main apny susral chala jata hon.

Pathan:molvi sahab koi aisa tareeqa btao k mai khao peeo or mera roza na tote

Pathan:molvi sahab koi aisa tareeqa btao k mai khao peeo or mera roza na tote

molvi:logo se mukke or laat khao or gussa pee jao roza nai tote ga.;-)

Ek khan saab ko phansi ki saza hui

Ek khan saab ko phansi ki saza hui

Judge ne poocha: koi aakhri khwahish??

Khan saab: hamara jagah tum latak jao...!!

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya. Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya.

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya. Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya. Pathan bola: 'o yara is pankhe k niche betho tumhe sawaab milega.
Mehman:wo kese?
Pathan: hm ye pankha masjid se utaar k laya hai.

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya.

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya. Pathan bola: 'o yara is pankhe k niche betho tumhe sawaab milega.
Mehman:wo kese?
Pathan: hm ye pankha masjid se utaar k laya hai.

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya.

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya. Pathan bola: 'o yara is pankhe k niche betho tumhe sawaab milega.
Mehman:wo kese?
Pathan: hm ye pankha masjid se utaar k laya hai.