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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Santa, yaar tum subah se mitti

Santa, yaar tum subah se mitti khod rahe ho , kaya baat hai
Banta, kuch nahin yaar
Dada ji ne kaha hai ‘ ki maine unka naam mitti me mila dia hai” bas vo doondh raha hoo.

Santa, oye bante, ladki ko propose


Santa, oye bante, ladki ko propose karne ki sab se safe jagah kon si ho sakti hai?
Banta, mandir,
Santa, vo kaise?
Banta, kyounki waha ladki ke pairon me chhapal nahin hoti.

Ek Sardar doosre sardar se: Yaar

Ek Sardar doosre sardar se: Yaar bata motorcycle ke kitne tyre hote hai?

2nd sardar: 2 hote hai.

1st sardar: Nahi do nahi 6 hote hai

2nd sardar: Woh kaise?

1st sardar: Iss tarah 4 Motor ke aur 2 cycle ke.

Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.

Wife: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye thay.

Husband: Kya bataoon, sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki

Bania’s son: Daddy meri door ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banwa do.

Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Woh dekh kya hai?

Son: Suraj

Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai tu.

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hai. 10% interest ke hisab se woh 1 saal baad loan vapis karte hai. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?

Bania’s son: Kuch bhi nahi.

Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.

Banis’s son: Main toh maths janta hoon, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

Boyfriend to Girlfriend: Darling

Boyfriend to Girlfriend: Darling main tumse shaadi nahi kar sakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.

Girlfriend: Tumhare ghar mein kaun kaun hai?

Boyfriend: Ek biwi aur 3 bacche…

Nayi(new) doctor ne apni life

Nayi(new) doctor ne apni life ka pehla operation kiya! Operation ki thodi der baad hi marij mar gaya!

Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh pehli bhet swikar kijiye!

Krish: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki

Krish: Doctor ne mujhe kaha tha ki woh do hapte mein mujhe pairo par khada kar dega!

Jack: Accha kya who aisa kar paya?

Krish: Ha uska bill chukane ke liye mujhe apni car jo bechni padi.

Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat

Mohan: Ladkiya sharab se itni nafrat kyun karti hai?

Sohan: Kyun ki isko pine ke baad unke chue jaise pati shero jaise bartab karne lagte hai!!!