Egotistical Harry was always

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.

"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."

"Batted .007," his wife added.

A drunk man is wandering

A drunk man is wandering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into cars and feeling the roofs. The bouncer comes up to him. 'What the heck are you doing?!' he asks. 'I'm looking for my car and I can't find it!' the drunk replies. 'So how does feeling the roofs of these cars help?!' the bouncer asks. 'Well, my car has two blue lights, and a siren on the roof!' the drunk replies

There was a jatt in the middle of

There was a jatt in the middle of a corn field rowing a boat, when another jatt drove by. The blonde in the car got out and hollered to the other one, 'It's jatts like you that give the rest of us a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and teach you a lesson.'

A theif stuck a pistol in a gentleman's ribs and

A theif stuck a pistol in a gentleman's ribs and
said, 'Give me your money.'
The gentleman shocked by the sudden attack said,
'You cannot do this, I am a Punjab Policeman.'
The thief said, 'In that case, give me my money.'