Teacher-bina daant k 2 jaanwaro ka naam bataao.

Teacher-bina daant k 2 jaanwaro ka naam bataao.
GOLU-Sir , Dada aur Dadi. . .

Grlfrnd - mera dil mobile hai or tum SIM ho

Grlfrnd - mera dil mobile hai or tum SIM ho
Boyfrnd - O very good I am very happy!
Girlfrnd - zyada khush mat ho naya offer milte hi me SIM change kar deti hu.

Grl:Agr Mujse Shadi Krni Hai

Grl:Agr Mujse Shadi Krni Hai To Tume Hr Hafte Mumi Ko 10kg Atta aur Papa Ki Car Me 20 litre Petrol Dlwana Hoga.Boy:Acha BEHAN chalta hu Ami-Abu Ko Salam Kehna.

1 Chuha sharab ke drum me gira.

1 Chuha sharab ke drum me gira.
Nikal ke mast ho kr soyi hui billi k muh pe laat maar k bola.
"Uth Munni
aaj ye chulbul tera mujra dekhne aaya he

Larki ke Gaal Pe Gulab maarne par Responses

Larki ke Gaal Pe Gulab maarne par Responses

English Girl:you are too Naughty sweet heart!

Urdu Girl: Nahin karo na!

Punjabi Girl: Lakh laanat begairta...

Pathan Kone Me Chup K Mobile Pe Kisi Se

Pathan Kone Me Chup K Mobile Pe Kisi Se
Ahista Se Bat Kr raha Tha



Aadmi: Khan Sahab Larki Se Baten Kr rahe Ho

Pathan: Khuda Ka Qasam Larki Nahi Mangetar Hai.

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.

Malik- Aaj Tumne Roti Me Jayada Ghee Laga Diya Hai.


Naukar- Galti Ho Gai Malik.
Lagta Hai Maine Aapko Aapni Roti De Di Hai

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya


Ye sb kya he?



AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli Dard Bataa Rahe They

Doctor- Tum Toh Mamuli Dard Bataa Rahe They, Lekin Tumhari Toh Dhadkan Bhi Kaafi Badhi Huee Hai
Sonu- Woh Toh Aapki Fees Dekh kar Badhi Hai.

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha

Kutte ko Murgi se pyar tha
Usne MUrgi se sadi ki
Thode time baad Murgi ne Khrgosh ko Jnam diya


Ye sb kya he?



AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI!

Sir 2 me :Padai karo varna koi tumhe job nai dega

Sir 2 me :Padai karo varna koi tumhe job nai dega



Me 2 sir :Padai wo log krte h jise job chahiye ham to job dene walo me se hai

Teacher- Batao banjar kise kehte hai

Teacher- Batao banjar kise kehte hai GOLU- sir jis par hariyali na ho
Teacher- bahut khub kisi banjar jagaha ka example do
GOLU- Ji aapka sir

GOLU:Dehaat se aye ek admi ko

GOLU:Dehaat se aye ek admi ko english ke sirf do words aate the,
phir b usne shehar ja ke lakho rupye kamaye.
MOLU: Kaunse words
GOLU: HANDS UP

Knjus-Ek Or Ice-cream Khaoge

Knjus-Ek Or Ice-cream Khaoge
Beta:Pr apne 1 icecream b nai dilai ab tk
Bap:Bhool Gye jab hum pichle sal yaha aye tha to 1 icecream nai khai thi

1 gav me nadi pe bridge banaya Gya

1 gav me nadi pe bridge banaya Gya
People:bahut accha ho Gya
GOLU: ha ji pehle dhup me tair ke nadi paar krte the ab Chav me tair ke par krenge

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Judge:Tumne Apne Malik Ko Zehar Q Diya

Mulzim:QK Unho Ne Kaha Tha K Aisa Thanda Pani Pilao
K Thanda Ho Jau Maine Zehar Daal Kar De Diya

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H

Techar: Ye Kiska Signature H
"@@@@@@@"

Student: Mere Pitaji Ka.?

Tchr:Aisa Kaise?

Student:Ji,Wo "JALEBI" Bechte Hai..Hath Aise Hi Chalte Hai

His Sicilian wife Gina

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'You Can Be The Man of Your House.'
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?'
His Sicilian wife Gina replied, "The fucking funeral director would be my first guess."

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se

Chor Ki Biwi Shohar Se: Ghar ka rashan khatam ho Gya hai jaldi se le k aaye
Chor: Le aaouga aisi b kya jaldi he zara dukane To band hone do

Q: Ladkiyan Kabhi Khud Pyhar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nahi Karti?

Q: Ladkiyan Kabhi Khud Pyhar Ka Izhar Pehle Q Nahi Karti?

Intresting Jawab.

Taki Break-up Karte Waqt Ye Keh Sake Ki Tum Mere Pichhe Pade The
Main Nahi.

Judge-Fasi Se Pehle Kisse Milna Chahoge

Judge-Fasi Se Pehle Kisse Milna Chahoge

Sonu-Biwi Se

J-Ma Bap Se Nai

S-Wo To Agla Janam Hote Mil Jaenge..

..Biwi K Lie 21Yr Intzar Krna Pdega

Santa-Aaj breakfast kya kiya?

Santa-Aaj breakfast kya kiya?
banta -Sandwiches
Santa -Jhooth Muli ke parathe khaye h na?
Banta -How do u know?
santa-Lips Can Lie But Hips Don't Lie!

Judge- Tumne Samaaj K Liye Kaun Sa Bhala Kaam Kiya Hai

Judge- Tumne Samaaj K Liye Kaun Sa Bhala Kaam Kiya Hai

Mujrim- Saab, Humare Karan Hi Police Aur Adalat Me Lakho Logo Ko Naukri Mili Hui Hai

2lady ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kr rahi thi

2lady ped k niche baithi Kafi der se bate kr rahi thi

Achanak 1aam gira
1lady-ye aam kese gira

Aam bola-

PAK GAYA HU TUMHARI BAATE SUN-SUN KE

Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne

Exam me SIR ne nakal Krne Di or kha Bahar jake Na khna k maine nakal krai h
GOLU-na g hum kahenge sir to bhut harami tha,kutte ne hilne b nhi Dia

girl (pyar se): tum muze bhulna ma

girl (pyar se): tum muze bhulna mat.
boy: are tum jaisi panoti ko bhulega bhi kaun!

Ek baar ek pagal bidi bina jali bidi

Ek baar ek pagal bidi bina jali bidi
pee raha tha
Dusra Pagal : Yaar bidi se koi dhuan
nhi nikal raha hai?
Pagal : Kar di na phir paglon wali baat,
Yeh “CNG” bidi hai...!!!

Lucky Jha

Aman : Yar chaman, sir ka msg aaya hai

Aman : Yar chaman, sir ka msg aaya hai
ki aaj extra class hogi, kya karoon ?
Chaman : “Message sending fail” likh ke
bhej de...!!!

Ek baccha mummy se pitne ke baad apne papa se

Ek baccha mummy se pitne ke baad apne papa se :
Papa kabhi aap Africa gaye ho ?
.
.
.
Papa: nhi beta ..
.
.
.
Baccha: fir itni khofnak item kahan se le aaye...!!!

G:Maine Aisa Mashroob Banaya He

G:Maine Aisa Mashroob Banaya He
Jise Pete Hi Insan Such Bolne Lgta He Pi Kr Dkho
M:Aakh Thoo,Ye To Tail H
G:Dekha Such Bola,Ye Waqai Tail H

MALLIKA KO AIRPORT PE CUSTAM

MALLIKA KO AIRPORT PE CUSTAM WALO NE PAKAD K PUCHA IS TIFIN BOX MAI KYA HAI. . . MALIKA GUSSE SE, -KAMINO YE MERA SUTCASE HAI . . . . .

Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.

Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,

Dost: Garam pani Q?

Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.

Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..

Santa Cricket Khel Kar Aaya..

Banta:Kitne Run Banaye?

Santa:Century Hone Me 99 Run Baki The Or mai Out Ho Gaya.

Banta:shit Yaar so close.. ;-)

Bivi ne pati ke gale main

Bivi ne pati ke gale main bahein dalker kaha- Kaisi lag rahi hun main?
pati- bulkul vaisi jaise bhagwan shanker ke gale me nagin latkati ho....

Suhag raat me santa cnfuse

Suhag raat me santa cnfuse ho gya ki nayi biwi se kya bolu..?
Akhir me bola- aapke ghrwalon ko malum hai, ki aap yahan mere saath ho?

Bunty film dekhne jane se pehle

Bunty film dekhne jane se pehle apni biwi ko 1 paan kharid kar deta he.Biwi: Apne liye b kharidlo.
Bunty:Mai paan ke bina b chup rehsakta hu

Teacher Asked Pappu

Teacher Asked Pappu: Jab Larki Ki Age 18 Saal Se Uper Ho Jaye To Usay Kis Cheez Ki Zarurat Hoti Hai? Pappu: Shanakhti Card(N.I.C) Ki. Ap B Apni Zehniyat Pappu Ki Tarah Saaf Rakhen.

Two Frogs Sitting Together 1St Frog

Two Frogs Sitting Together 1St Frog: Trrrrr 2nd Frog: Trrrr 1st Frog:Trrrr 2nd Frog:Trrrr 1st Frog: Taratrrr 2nd Frog: Yar Topic Change Na Kar...

Mouse To Elephant

Mouse To Elephant: 2 Din K Liye Apni Kameez Dena. Elephant: "Ha....Ha....Ha..... Pehney Ga Kya ??" Mouse: Nahe,Beti Ki Shadi Hay, Tent Lagwana Hay..

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum

Manager: hamaare bank mein hum aapko binaa interest ke loan denge.
customer: arey, jab dena hai to thoda haste haste dona. agar dene mein interest nahi hai, to mat do

Aman and wife waiting

Aman and wife waiting
for train itne mein PUNJAB MAIL
aayi Aman bhag kar train mein
chad gaya or wife ko bola…
.
.
.
Jab PUNJAB FEMALE aaye
to tu bhi aa jana...!!!

Bhikari Pathan Sy!

Bhikari Pathan Sy!
Mujhy Khaany Ko Kuch Mill Sakta Hai.

Pathan: Kal Ki Roti Kha Lo Gy?
bhikari: G Han Bilkul.

Pathan: Acha To Phir Kal Time Se Aa Jana... ;->

Mein Ne Socha Tum Miss Kar Rahe Hoge,

Larki:
Mein Ne Socha Tum Miss Kar Rahe Hoge,
Call Karlun.

Larka: Acha Aur Jo Aik Ghante Pehle Ki Thi Woh?



Larki: Ooh Sh!t...




Sorry Ghalti Se Dubara Tumhara Number Mila Diya. :

Control yourself

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

I made it alright.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Take my card

Waiter gives bill to Sardar

Sardar: "Take my card."

Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."

Santa Singh at KBC

Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and has used all his lifelines except for “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.
Santa Singh is playing the 13 th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…
Amitabh Bachchan : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…
Santa Singh gets Tense…

Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan? Your options are…

Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He's quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]
But Santa is surprisingly still confused…

Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.
Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.
Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?
Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…
Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…
Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:

Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…
Santa Singh : I would like to use my last life line too – Phone A Friend…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??
Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…
Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan [Thanks to AirTel ]…
Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?”
receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..

GUESS WHY????????? ??
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Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?”

થાંભલો તાજો રંગેલો છે, અડકવું નહિ

એક ભાઈએ દૂરથી એક બોર્ડ થાંભલા પર ઊંચે લગાડેલું જોયું. તે પાસે ગયા, પરંતુ એ બોર્ડ પર લેખેલા અક્ષરો બહુ નાના હતા એટલે એમને બરાબર વંચાયું નહીં. છેવટે બોર્ડ વાંચવા એ ભાઈ થાંભલે ચઢી ગયા! ઉપર ચઢીને એમણે જોયું તો બોર્ડમાં એવું લખેલું કે ‘થાંભલો તાજો રંગેલો છે, અડકવું નહિ.’

તું મોટી થઈશ ત્યારે મને પરણીશ ?

દસ વરસના મનુએ તેની મિત્ર આનલને પૂછ્યું, ‘તું મોટી થઈશ ત્યારે મને પરણીશ ?’
આનલે કહ્યું : ‘અમારા કુટુંબમાં અમે અમારા ઘરના લોકો સાથે જ પરણીએ છીએ. જો ને મારા કાકા કાકીને જ પરણ્યા છે. મારા મામા મારી મામીને અને મારા માસા મારી માસીને પરણ્યા છે. આમ અમે અમારા સગાને જ પરણીએ છીએ.’

What 'which part'?

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .