Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=

Santa k Sar Se Khoon Nikal rha Tha Dctr=Ye kaise Hua? Santa=Mai Hatho Se Patthar Tod rha Tha,To kisi ne kaha"Paaji kabhi to Dimag Istemal karo"...?

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

Pathan ne oxford universty mein 1st Positon li News channel walu ne pucha

K ab kia kro gay?

Pathan

bachpan se aik khuwab hy

k hum apna tandoor khole GA.

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Pathan ny chalange kiya k

Woh minar-e-pakistan ko apne sar par utha kar peshawar ja sakta hai.

Hazaron log ikthay ho gaye...

Pathan bola: bus isey utha kar mere sar par rakho tum....:-

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha?? Pathan: Google Khan Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!! Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....

Teacher: tumhare baap ka kia naam ha??
Pathan: Google Khan

Teacher: ye kia naam hoa bhla!!
Pathan: ham jahan marzi hon wo mujhe dhond leta ha....

Mobile Ko Ejaad Karne Wale Ka Sapna Tha K Dunya Me

Mobile Ko Ejaad Karne Wale Ka Sapna Tha K Dunya Me
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FAQEER oR BHIKARI K Hath Men B Mobile Ho

MUBARAK HO

Aap Ny uska Sapna Such Kar Dikhaya.

Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate hai..

Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate hai..



Wo likhte hai:---
"Maine to Loot Liya tu bhi Loot le..."

Hsbnd: (in romantic mood):Tum meri zindgi ho....

Hsbnd: (in romantic mood):Tum meri zindgi ho....
Wife: aur kaho achcha lag raha hai....



Hsbnd: aur LANAT hai aisi zindagi pe.....

Pathan ko gali me para 100 ka note mila,

Pathan ko gali me para 100 ka note mila,
Jis pe likha tha
“EID MUBARAK”
Pathan ne chup k se note jeib me rakhte huye kaha
“KHER MUBARAK.

Boy : Maine Suna hai is Ghar Mein Jin Bhot aur Rohain Rehti Hy

Boy : Maine Suna hai is Ghar Mein Jin Bhot aur Rohain Rehti Hy
Pathan : pta Nai
Mje to Khud Mare Hue 8 Sal Hogye
Moral: pathano ko marne k bad B akal nae ati

Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya

Ek Kutta pathan k piche laggaya
Pathan Gussey me Bolta howa bhaga
Khocha agar tere Bap ka Hakumat nahi hota to tujhe Batata..???

Ek khan saab ko phansi ki saza hui

Ek khan saab ko phansi ki saza hui

Judge ne poocha: koi aakhri khwahish??

Khan saab: hamara jagah tum latak jao...!!

Pathan:molvi sahab koi aisa tareeqa btao k

Pathan:molvi sahab koi aisa tareeqa btao k mai khao peeo or mera roza na tote

molvi:logo se mukke or laat khao or gussa pee jao roza nai tote ga.;-)

Santa’s Son: Papa aaj meri Miss ne

Santa’s Son: Papa aaj meri Miss ne aisa sawal pucha jiska jawab sirf Merey paas tha.

Santa: Oye Shabash puttar, kya sawal tha?

Son: Ye class main PAAD kis ne Mari?

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya

Pathan k paas 1 mehman aaya.
Pathan bola: 'o yara is pankhe k niche betho tumhe sawaab milega.
Mehman:wo kese?
Pathan: hm ye pankha masjid se utaar k laya hai.

Admi:Tumhari shadi kis se hui

Admi:Tumhari shadi kis se hui?
Pathan:Hamara 1 aurat se shadi hua hai Admi:Bewakuf kabhi kisi mard se bhi shadi hoti hai?
Pathan:Han hamara Behan ka hua hai.

The best shair written on A rickshaw!

The best shair written on A rickshaw!

Ferrari ka Baap, Nissan ka Nana…

Yeh rickshaw chala raha hai pathan deewana

8 yrs boy Ladka - "1 bidi ka bundle dena."

8 yrs boy Ladka - "1 bidi ka bundle dena."
Dukandar - "Kya re iss Umar me hi Bidi pine laga."
Boy - "Nahi Ye mere Chote Bhai ke liye hai Mujhe 1 Paket Willes dedo."

santa & banta

Santa - "Me to Apne sare Dosto ko Bhul gaya tha lekin 1 Film dekhi to sub Yaad aa gaye."
Banta - Aisa kya, Kon si Film thi?"
Santa - "KAMINEY"

PREMIKA- aaj tumne bahut acha bhashan diya..

PREMIKA- aaj tumne bahut acha bhashan diya..
NETA PREMI- saare sunne wale gadhe the..
PREMIKA- tabhi tum baar baar keh rhe the mere pyaare bhaiyo, pyaare bhaiyo

A New Teacher Joins schoolHe Finds

A New Teacher Joins schoolHe Finds Two Boys Similar In Appearance.Teacher asks - "kya TUM Judva ho.??Boy-: jee nahi..Hum Padosi hain.

Munna- Aey Circuit, ladki ko patane ke liye kya karne ka?

Munna- Aey Circuit, ladki ko patane ke liye kya karne ka?

Circuit- Simple bhai, "Minto Fress" khane ka.

Ek ganje k sar par do bal the

Ek ganje k sar par do bal the.
Dono ko aapas me pyar ho gaya,
shadi karna chahte the.
Magar nahi kar paye....
Batao kyun?




Kyun ki Bal Vivah apradh hai.

Panditji Ne Jajman Ke Balak Ko Ek Peda Diya Aur Kaha:

Panditji Ne Jajman Ke Balak Ko Ek Peda Diya Aur Kaha:
Bete Ise Hawan Kund Me Dalkar Kaho,
Swaha. Balak Peda Muh Me Dalkar Bola: Aha.

Rat Ko 2 Sharabiyon Ne Talaab me

Rat Ko 2 Sharabiyon Ne Talaab me Chand Ki Parchhayi Dekhi.
1st- Ye Kya Hai?
2nd-Abe Ye Chand Hai.
1st-Sale Ghar Chal Hum Mazak Mazak Me Chand Par Phch Gaye.

santa & banta

Santa k ghar NAVJOT SINGH SIDDHU ki tasvir lagi hui thi

Banta: ye q laga rkhi hai..?

Santa: LAUGHING BUDDHA lene gaya tha dukandar ne kaha yeh LATEST hai..

Sher ki shaadi thi, baraat me sab

Sher ki shaadi thi, baraat me sab shero ke beech ek dogi naach raha tha! Us se pucha-"aap yahaa kaise??
to dogi bola-'shaadi se pehle ham bhi sher the'!

SANTA ELECTRIC SHOP ME- 2 PANKHE DENA

SANTA ELECTRIC SHOP ME- 2 PANKHE DENA
1 LADIES OR 1 GENTS.
SALESMAN- PANKHO ME LADIES OR GENTS NAHI HOTA.
SANTA- KESE NAHI HOTA EK BAJAJ KA DE OR EK USHA KA.

1child 1Re. ka coin kha gaya

1child 1Re. ka coin kha gaya. Kuch din bad poty mei uska coin bahar aa gya to child maa se bola-
AAJ BAHUT DIN BAD FASI HUI PAYMENT MILI HAI.

santa & banta

Santa:-Train me yaar raat bhar neend nhi aayi upar ki seat mili thi.
Banta:-To seat xchange kar leta.

Santa:-Kisse karta niche ki seat pe koi tha hi nhi!:

Santa bnta k bech fight ho rhi thi,

Santa bnta k bech fight ho rhi thi,
Santa-saale mai tere kapde faad dunga.
Banta-yar serious ladai me romantic baat mat kiya kr...

Teacher: Tumhare Papa kya kaam karte hai?

Teacher: Tumhare Papa kya kaam karte hai?
Baccha:"KFC" ke Maalik hain..
Teacher: Nice, (so rich) KFC ka kya matlab hai?
Baccha: "KALLU FRUIT CHAAT"...

Baap : Sharab, Cigarette

Baap : Sharab, Cigarette, Larkiyan Ye Sab Tumhari Jaan k Dushman Hain..
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Beta : Jo Shakhs Apne Dushmano Se Bhaag jaiey

Wo Mard Nahi Hota abba...

makan malik: 500 rupaye mahine ka

makan malik: 500 rupaye mahine ka kiraya hoga! kirayedar:thik hai; par apke makan me bahut chuhe daud rahe hai... Makan malik: to 500 rupaye me kya bipasha basu nachegi?

Ladka- Ghire hue badlo me teri yad ati h

Ladka- Ghire hue badlo me teri yad ati h,
Saawan k ane me teri yad ati h,
Baris ki bundo me teri yad ati h,
Ladki- Haan haan muje yad hai teri Chatri deni hai...

GOLU-Jab B m tumhre ghr khana khata hu

GOLU-Jab B m tumhre ghr khana khata hu
Tumhara kutta mere khane ko ghoor kar dekhta h KYO?
MOLU-kyuki kutta apni Plate phchanta h mere dost.

Sanata in firebrigade-Lady calld-"mere ghar aag lagi h

Sanata in firebrigade-Lady calld-"mere ghar aag lagi h
Santa-pani dalo.
Lady-dala,aag ni bujhi
S-"fir hm akar kya krenge,hm b to pani hi dalenge.

Lali: 12 Baje Ghar Ane Ka Samay Hai

Lali: 12 Baje Ghar Ane Ka Samay Hai? Kab Se Intzar Kar Rahi Hu.
Santa: Ye Jagte Rehne Ka Smy H? 4 Ghante Se Tumhare Sone Ka Intzr Kr Raha hu.

1Budha Budhiya ko Ghur Raha tha

1Budha Budhiya ko Ghur Raha tha.
Budhiya Use Galiya Dene Lagi.
1Ladka Aya Bola-Kya hua?
Budha-kuch nahi Beta,Purana Calender hai FADFADA RaHA HAI.

Happy Sing: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta h

Happy Sing: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta h
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani, woh le ati hai,
Dost: Garam pani kuon?
Happy: Usse Bartan Achay Dhultay hai

Girl: Aajtak Tumne Kiss Nahi Kia Kiss Karona Muje

Girl: Aajtak Tumne Kiss Nahi Kia Kiss Karona Muje
Santa: Nahi
Girl: Q Nahi?
Santa: Bade-Budhe Kah Gae He Aurato Ko Muh Nahi Lagana Chahiye.. ;-)

Bhikhari: Ek Rupaye Ka Sawal Hai Bachcha?

Bhikhari: Ek Rupaye Ka Sawal Hai Bachcha?
Chintu: Ganit Ke Master Sahab Bagal Me Hain, Unhi Se Poochh Lo.

santa & banta

Santa: Mujhe Raat Bhar Neend Nahi I.
Banta: Q?
Santa: Q Ki Kal Raat Bhar Neend Mein Yahi Sapna Dekhta Raha Ki Main

Jaag Raha Hu

Pota;Daadi Aapne kon kon se Mulk Ghume hai?

Pota;Daadi Aapne kon kon se Mulk Ghume hai?
Dadi;Beta Pakistan,
Hindustan Or Afganistan,
Pota;Ab konsa Ghumogi?
Pichhe se Dada bola-Qabristan.

santa & banta

Santa:Mujhe Kitab Likhne Me 1 Saal Lag Jata Hai.
Banta:Itni Mehnat Kyo Karte Ho 15 Rupaye Me Likhi Hui Kitab Mil Jati Hai.

Santa school me hans raha tha,

Santa school me hans raha tha,
1 ladhka bola chup kar
santa:-Q,tum kon ho..?
Ladhka:-main moniter hu
Santa bola:-main CPU hu...Ab bol...

Sir: Muhavre

Sir: Muhavre
Ka Istemal Karo..
'Muh Me Pani Ana'
Santa: Jaise Hi Maine Nal Ko
Muh Laga K Nal Chalu Kiya,
Mere Muh Me Pani Aa Gaya.

santa & banta

Santa-Mera ghar itna bda he ki usme local train chlti he.
banta-Bas,sale mera ghar itna bada he ki agar1se dusre kone chale jaao to roaming lagti he

At a ladies garments shop,

At a ladies garments shop,
MAN: I need a Ladies Salwar Suit..
Shopkeeper: Sir, wife k liye chahiye yaa kuchh acha sa dikhau?

sonu 2 meter lambi pipe se hukka pi raha tha,

sonu 2 meter lambi pipe se hukka pi raha tha,
monu itne lambe pipe se kyu pi raha hai
sonu yaar dr saab ne tambaku se dur rahne ko kaha hai...

LADKi waLe PANDiT ko: hume aisa LADKA

LADKi waLe PANDiT ko: hume aisa LADKA chahiye jo kuch KHATA-PITA NA ho
PANDIT: jajman aisa LADKA to i.C.U. ya EMERGENCY WARD me miLega.

santa Ne Khubsurat Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Kaha

santa Ne Khubsurat Ladki Ko Dekh Kar Kaha

santa: Aap Kahan Rehti Hain

Ladki: M G Road

santa: Itni Khubsurat Hokar Road Par Rehti Hein

preeto: main kapray nichor nichor k thak gayi

preeto: main kapray nichor nichor k thak gayi, tum mujhe ek spinner hi dila d.

next day santa HARBHAJAN SINGH ko le aaye.

Aaju-Tere Papa Tailor Hai Or

Aaju-Tere Papa Tailor Hai Or
Teri Shirt Fati Hai,

Muju-Sharm Ki Baat To Ye He Ki
Tere Papa Dentist He Or Tera Bhai Bina DANT Ke Paida Hua

Gabbar-Ye Hath Muje Dede Thakur

Gabbar-Ye Hath Muje Dede Thakur
Thakur-Nai
In Hatho Se Me Dosto Ko Msgs Krta Hu
YeJo Is Waqt Msg Padh Raha H Is Ke hath Lele
Ye kabhi Msg Nai Krta

Pati:Jaan roz roz mai tumhari aankhon

Pati:Jaan roz roz mai tumhari aankhon mai anshu nahi dekh sakta.
Patni:Thiq hai,
kal se aaphi piyaz katt k doge.

Bhanja:Mujhe 200/Rs. Do,

Bhanja:Mujhe 200/Rs. Do,
Mama:Tujhe Rupaye Ki Nahi AQal Ki Zarurat Hai,
Bhanja:Ab mai Apse Wahi Cheez to Mangunga Jo Apke Paas Hai.

By: mandar jadhav

Mama ne nayi swift Car Li,

Mama ne nayi swift Car Li,
swift Car K Peche Likhwaya

"SAAWAN KO AANE DO"
Peche se truck Ne Thok Diya,

Truck Par Likha tha
"AAYA SAAWAN JHOOM KE"

Patni:Humare naukar ne chandi ka chamcha churaya

Patni:Humare naukar ne chandi ka chamcha churaya
Pati:Kaunsa?
Patni:Jo humne parso hotel se churaya tha

santa class me gadha lekar aaya,

santa class me gadha lekar aaya,
teacher kyu lekar aaye ho,
sir aapne hi kaha tha ki aap gadhe ko bhi inssan bana dete hai...

Pathan Marte Wqt Doctor Se:

Pathan Marte Wqt Doctor Se:

Doctor Sahb Hm Apna Dimagh Donate Krna Chahta Hai.

Doctor:
Aap Aaram Se Mar Jaein Agr Hoga To Hm Nikaal Lein Ge :-)

MASTER:Kanjoos bole to koun

MASTER:Kanjoos bole to koun
STUDENT:Hm chahe jitne b 'sms' karen uska 'reply' jo na kare Vo
MASTER:Uski ek example do
STUDENT: Aapki ki Beti

Pati-Malum Hota Hai Ki Daraaz Me Koi Khane Ki Chiz Hai..

Pati-Malum Hota Hai Ki Daraaz Me Koi Khane Ki Chiz Hai..


Patni-Aap Ne








Bilkul Sahi Andaza Lagaya Is Me Mere Sendal Hai.

Master G Bachy Ka Lunch Kha Gaya.

Master G Bachy Ka Lunch Kha Gaya.

Master G: Beta Ghar Ja Kar Mera Naam To Nahi Bataogy?

Bacha masumiyat sy: Master G Main Ammi Sy Kahun Ga

Ke Meri Roti Kutta Kha Gaya...

Girl: Kiya Tum Mere Aashiq Ho?

Girl: Kiya Tum Mere Aashiq Ho?

Boy: Haan Hon.

Girl: To Phir Mujhe 1000 ka Easyload Bhej Do.

Boy: Main Tumhara Aashiq Hon IDEA Waloon Ka Damaad Nahi. :-)

1 ladka ne 1 ladki ko kamal ka phool diya

1 ladka ne 1 ladki ko kamal ka phool diya to ladki ne jordar tamacha mari.

Ladka: kyun mari main to BJP ka parchar kar raha tha.
Ladki: aur main CONGRESS ka.

c

Santa- Pravachan sune ke bad ghar aya

Santa- Pravachan sune ke bad ghar aya or biwi ko god mein utha lia.
Biwi: kya guruji ne romance karne ko kahan hai.
Santa:Nahi re pagli kaha apne dukh khud uthao.

POLICE:ye car parking me cycle q park ki?

POLICE:ye car parking me cycle q park ki?
SANTA:jab irado me ho dugni chamak to kapdo me q nahi?
POLICE:kya?
SANTA:sirf do pahiyo ka fark he uncle Aa jayege!

Mareez Nurse Se: Paani Pilao.

Mareez Nurse Se: Paani Pilao.

Nurse: Kya Pyaas Lagi Hai..?

Mareez Ghussay Se:

Nahi, Gala Check Karna Hai

Leak To Nahi...

Teacher To Pathan: AGARBATTI Ka Jumla Banao

Teacher To Pathan: AGARBATTI Ka Jumla Banao.

Pathan: AGAR BATTI Chali Jaye To Andhera Ho Jata Hai...

Ek rat husband ny wife se pani manga or so gaya

Ek rat husband ny wife se pani manga or so gaya

Bivi sari raat khari rahi subha hoi

Husband: tum sari raat yaha khari rahi bolo kya chahye

Wife: Gussy se Talaq ;-)

Husband:Hypnotise karna kya hota hy?

Husband:Hypnotise karna kya hota hy?
Wife:Kisi ko apnay control me kar k apni marzi k kaam karwaana

Husband:Chal jhoTi,usay to Shadi kehte haiN.

Wife: ap apnay best freind ki BV k janazay pay nahi gay

Wife: ap apnay best freind ki BV k janazay pay nahi gay.

Husband:kis moo say jaon.
wo mujay 3rd BV K janazay pay bula raha hai
Aur
Mein ne1 dafa b nahi bulaya

Wife: ap apnay best freind ki BV k janazay pay nahi gay.

Wife: ap apnay best freind ki BV k janazay pay nahi gay.

Husband:kis moo say jaon.
wo mujay 3rd BV K janazay pay bula raha hai
Aur
Mein ne1 dafa b nahi bulaya

wife : ab ki bar tume phir job na mili toh

wife : ab ki bar tume phir job na mili toh main meake chali jaaon gi

Hubsnd: thandi aah bhar ka bola wade wade sirf wade,

bahir b wade ghar pe b sirf wade

Wife:Agar mein koh gayi to tum kya karoge?

Wife:Agar mein koh gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband: Mein akhbar mein ad don ga
JAHAN RAHO KHUSH RAHO.

Anath Ashram Manager to Bania:

Anath Ashram Manager to Bania:
Sethji, aap hamare anath ashram ke liye kya kar sakte ho ?
Bania: Mein anath ashram mein apne 4 bachhe bhej sakta hu

Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya.

Santa ka Padosi Mar Gaya.
Wo Uske Ghar gaya or pucha- Body aa gai kya?
Tabhi Body lekar Ambulance aa gayi.

Santa-Lo Batao, kitni Lambi umar hai.

DO AALSI So Rahe The,

DO AALSI So Rahe The,
Tabhi Ek Chor Unka Kambal Le Bhaga.
1 AALSI CHOR..CHOR..!DUSRA AALSI:
CHUP CHAP Soja,Jab Takiya Lene Aayega Tab Pakad lenge

Santa ne shampoo kharida.

Santa ne shampoo kharida.
Santa- iske sath jo gift hai do.
Shopkeeper- iske sath gift nahi hai.
Santa- saale jhute, ispe likha hai "Dandruff Free"

Pati bola patni se-Raja Dashrath ki

Pati bola patni se-Raja Dashrath ki 3 Raniya thi..PATNI-to ?
PATI- mai 2 shadiya aur kar sakta hu.PATNI- Sonch lo, Dropadi ke 5 Pati the...?

Bhikhari Ko Lottry lagi to Us ne Mandir banwaya

1 Bhikhari Ko Lottry lagi to Us ne Mandir banwaya
2nd- Tune Mandir Q banwaya?
Bhikhari- Iske Saamne ab Main Akele hi Bheek manguga..

Boy :tu dharti pe chahe jaha b rhegi tujhe teri khusbu se Pehchan Lunga

Boy :tu dharti pe chahe jaha b rhegi tujhe teri khusbu se Pehchan Lunga

Girl: Ma KASAM mujhe phle se hi shak tha k tu sala"KUTTA" he

Pathan Driving On The Wrong Side Of Road

Pathan Driving
On The Wrong Side Of Road

&

He Became Upset

&

Said


==== SHIT====

aaj phir late ho gaya

saare log wapis jaa rahe hy:-)

Aik pathan Hamesha Darwaza khol k Nahata tha.

Aik pathan Hamesha Darwaza khol k Nahata tha.

Kisi ne pucha k ap aisa kyun kertay hain?

Pathan Bola: Mujhe Shak hai k mujhe Darwaze k nechay se koi daikhta hy

Wife: ?Agar main mar gayi to tumhara kya ho ga??

Wife: ?Agar main mar gayi to tumhara kya ho ga??

Husband: ?Agar tum na mari to mera ho kya ho ga??

Biwi: Sunien,shakeela k husband usse

Biwi: Sunien,shakeela k husband usse bohot pyar karte hain,Subha pyar,Shaam pyar,Tum itna pyar kab karo ge?Miyan:arey wo choray to mujhe moqa milay na.

1 aurat ne Akhbar Me Prha k 1 Admi ne Apni

1 aurat ne Akhbar Me Prha k 1 Admi ne Apni BV Ko 1 Cycle k Badle Sale kr Dia

BV: Tum to Aisa Nhi Karoge Na?

Husband: Main to CAR Se Kam Baat Bhi Nhi Kron Ga !

Wife: Suno ji...doctor ne mujhe ek maheenay

Wife: Suno ji...doctor ne mujhe ek maheenay k araam k liye beautiful foreign location me jaane ko kaha hai. Hum kahan jayengey???

Husband: Dusray doctor ke pass.....!!!

teacher:bachoo my name is khan

teacher:bachoo my name is khan dekh kar kya lesson mila?
bachee:my name is khan se ye samajh me aya ke paglo se bhi ladkiya pat sakti hai.................

Pathan Rishte k liye Tasweer Khichwane raha tha

Pathan Rishte k liye Tasweer Khichwane raha tha

Peeche ghada bhi agaya Tasweer main

Pathan ne ye likh kar tasweer bheji

Hum Ulta hath ki taraf hai...

Pati aur Patni jhagadte hue

Pati aur Patni jhagadte hue
Pati-Mujhe gussa mat dilao nahi to mere ander ka janwar jaag jayega
Patni-To kya hua.?
Mai chuhe se nahi darti

Girl Kisses A Boy On The Face And The

Girl Kisses A Boy On The Face And The Boy Gets A Mark Of Her Lipstick
Ladka:Ye Kya Kiya
Ladki:Kuch Achchha Krne Me Dag Lage To DAAG To ACCHE He

Principal asked PreM:

Principal asked PreM:
Why r u late?
all ur classmates came to d class on tym
I rplied:
"Jhund me to kutte aate h. Lekin SHER hamesha akela aata ha

GOLU Radio Theek Karwane Gya

GOLU Radio Theek Karwane Gya

Dukandar:Radio To Theek He
Bas Mousam Kharab Hone Ki Waja Se Chal Nai Raha

GOLU:Theek He


Te Mousam Nawa Pa D

BNTA-Tere Ghr Se Hmesa Hsne Ki

BNTA-Tere Ghr Se Hmesa Hsne Ki Awaz Ati Hai,Khusi Ka Raaz Kya Hai?
Snta-Meri Biwi Muje Jute Marti Hai,Lag Jaye To Wo Hasti Hai,Nhi Lge To M Hasta hu.

Pathan Apni Biwi ko Clinic Le Gaya 0r Dr ko Bohat Maara.

Pathan Apni Biwi ko Clinic Le Gaya 0r Dr ko Bohat Maara..

Sab Ne Poochha kya Hua?

Pathan Bola:
Sala Bolta Hai Tmhari Biwi ka B.P Dekhna Hai.......

Teacher to pathan:

Teacher to pathan:
Batao 'Qaatil' kise kehte hain?
Pathan: nahi pata
Teacher: farz karo tum apne baap ka qatal kar do tu tum kia kehlao gay?
Pathan: "YATEEM"

Pathan : Humne Aik Aisa Cheez Banaya Hai

Pathan : Humne Aik Aisa Cheez Banaya Hai Jiske Zareye Deewar Ki Dusri Taraf Dekha Ja Sakta Hai,

Scientist: Wo Kya Cheez Banaya Hai Tumne?


Pathan: "SORAKH"

Light Theory by Pathan:

Light Theory by Pathan:
Moon is more imprtnt than Sun
Bcz it gives light at night when light is needed
While
Sun givs light at day when light is already present

Docter : santa jee Aap k gurday fail hogaye hain !

Docter :
santa jee Aap k gurday fail hogaye hain !

Santa :
Ha Ha Ha
What a joke..

Mere gurday to kabhi school gaye hi nahi.

Chinese lady Indian lady se:

Chinese lady Indian lady se:

mere husband ache bhaly thy par achanak intiqal ho gaya!

Indian lady:

bus behn, China ki cheezon ka yehi masla hai...

Fakeer: 1 Rupia dede Baba

Fakeer:
1 Rupia dede Baba
Aadmi:
Sharam Nai Ati itnay hattay kattay khubsurat nojawan ho k bheek mangtay ho

fakeer:
Acha pher apni behan ka rishta day de.

Ek Pagal Khat Likh Raha Tha,

Ek Pagal Khat Likh Raha Tha,
Dr. ne Poucha Kis Ko Likh Rahe Ho ?
Pagal: Khud Ko.
Dr: Kya Likha Hai ?
Pagal: Mujhe Kya Pata !
Abhi Mujhe Mila Thorri Hai:-)

1 Ladka phool Lekar Ladki k pas gaya.

1 Ladka phool Lekar Ladki k pas gaya.
Ladki ne use KISS kar liya.
Wo GHABRA kar BHAGA to Ladki ne puchha- Kya hua?
Ladka- Guldasta lene ja rha hu.

Dukan ka malik santa se-grahak ko kbhi

Dukan ka malik santa se-grahak ko kbhi khali nhi jane dena! Agr dukaan me vo cheez nhi h to dusri offr kro. Grahak-toilet paper dena.Santa-wo nhi h REGMAL lelo.

Baap- Tumne Apni Mummy Se Unchi Aawaz Me Baat Ki.

Baap- Tumne Apni Mummy Se Unchi Aawaz Me Baat Ki.?

Beta- Mujhe Pata Hai Ki
Apko Jalan Ho Rahi Hai..

..Kyo Ki Aap Aisa Nahi Kar Sakte

Kuch log dozak mein bary aram se soay huy thy

Kuch log dozak mein bary aram se soay huy thy


Farishta : yaar ye koon log hain?

Daroga : ye sab pakistani hain loadshading ki waja se garmi ki aadi hain .

Teacher: Batao Saal Me Kitne Mausam Hote Hain?

Teacher: Batao Saal Me Kitne Mausam Hote Hain?

Student: Sir 4 Mausam.

Teacher: Kaun Kaun Se?

Student: Hartaal, Election, Imtehanaat, Hungame.;-)

1Bar Class Me 1Ladki Gana Gane Lagi

1Bar Class Me 1Ladki Gana Gane Lagi
"Zara Zara Touch Me"

Tabhi 1Ladka Utha Aur Use Touch Kiya,
Fir Bola=Le Ab Himmat He to Aage Gake Dikha.

BV_ne Pati k Gale Me Bahein Daal Kar Kaha

BV_ne Pati k Gale Me Bahein Daal Kar Kaha=
Kaisi Lag Rahi Hu Mai?

Pati=BilkuL
waisi Jaise
Bhagwan
Shankar k Gale Me Naag Latka
Ho..

Boy: Jaan Mai tumhe Bangla

Boy: Jaan Mai tumhe Bangla,
Car,Soney Ka haar DILA Donga....
Girl:Ye Batao, Shaam ko Park Aa Rahe Ho na..
Boy: Agar mummy Ne Bus Ka Kiraya dia to zarur Aunga.....!

Husband: Begum tumhari gerdan pr ajeeb si cheez hai.

Husband: Begum tumhari gerdan pr ajeeb si cheez hai. . .

Jisay daikh kr khouf aata hai . . .

Begum(dar k): Wo kya?..

Husband: Tumhara Munh.

Teacher: "Mere papa aaj job par gaye hain" is ka future tense banao.

Teacher: "Mere papa aaj job par gaye hain" is ka future tense banao.

Student: Wo kal bhi jaenge kisi k baap mei himmat hai to rok k dkhae

Interviewer: wat d difference in mobile & ladline

Interviewer: wat d difference in mobile & ladline?




santa: ladine ka no hum ungli se dail karte hai mobile ka anguthe se.

Student: Machchhar Katne Se Pehle Kan

Student: Machchhar Katne Se Pehle Kan Ke Pas Kyo Bhinbhinata Hai?
Teacher: Ache Yoddha Shatru Ko Suchna Dekar Hi Attack Karta Hai.

Wife: Bacha Ab Chalne Laga He

Wife: Bacha Ab Chalne Laga He
husband: kab Se?
wife: 8 din Se
Husband: Are tum Ab bata Rahi Ho? wo Toh Kaafi Dur Nikal chuka Hoga

Farishte Qabar Mein PATHAN Ko Maar Rahy Thay...!!!

Farishte Qabar Mein PATHAN Ko Maar Rahy Thay...!!!

Woh Hans Raha Tha..

Farishton Ne Waja Puchi To Bola:

Hum Khudkash Hamle Mein Mara Tha..

Ye Sar Hamara Hai Aur Jism Kisi Aur Ka..

Putra- “Pitaji, mai nadi me aage jaaunga|”

Putra- “Pitaji, mai nadi me aage jaaunga|”
Pita- “Nahi, doob jaaoge|”
Putra- “Nahi dooboonga, mujhe tairna aata hai|”
Pita- “Yadi doob gaya to ghar jaakar teri khoob pitai karunga|”

Putra se naaraaj hote hue pita ne kaha- “Nalaayak!

Putra se naaraaj hote hue pita ne kaha- “Nalaayak!
prem-patra maine bhi khoob likhe the magar…|”
Putra- “Magar kya pitaji?”
Pita- “Teri tarah galat vyaakaran nahi
likha karta tha|”

Mahesh- “Mere bhai ka koi baal baanka

Mahesh- “Mere bhai ka koi baal baanka
nahi kar sakta|”
Kamal- “Kya vah bahut bahaadur hai?”
Mahesh- “Nahi, vah ganja hai|”

Pita- “Dekho beta, tum kabhi shaadi na karna,

Pita- “Dekho beta, tum kabhi shaadi na karna,
yah baad me bahut badi musibat paida kar deti hai|”
Beta- “Haan pitaji, mai kabhi shaadi nahi
karunga aur yahi shiksha apne bete ko bhi dunga|”

Pathan:hum 25 behan bhai hain

Pathan:hum 25 behan bhai hain

Girl:kya tumharay ghar family plaining walay nahi ayay?

Pathan: aya tu tha lakin school samajh kar wapis chala gaya...

MY CLASS TEACHER"

MY CLASS TEACHER"
Pe 10 line likhne ko kaha

Thori der bad 1 student ne uth kr pucha:

Sir
'Kanjar' ko english me kya kehte hy =P

Teacher: Kal School Kyon Nahi Aaye Tum?

Teacher: Kal School Kyon Nahi Aaye Tum?

Student: Mujhy Bird Flu Hogaya Tha.

Teacher: Kia? Ye to Murgee ki Beemari Hai.

Student: Aap Ne Mujhy Insan Kab Chora Hai?

Roz He To Murga Bana Deti Ho.

Deadly IQ Question.

Deadly IQ Question.

Pathan to Santa: “where is abu dabi ?”

Santa:

“jithy Ami Dabi,

Ody naal e zara para kr k Abu dabi”:-)

santa cycle pe faqeer k pas se guzra..

santa cycle pe faqeer k pas se guzra..
Faqeer ne kaha ALLAH k nam pe kuch dy do!
santa cycle rokte hue, chal peeche beth tujhe jhulay doon.. ;

Pathan- Aaj hume Allah yad aa gya

Pathan-
Aaj hume Allah yad aa gya

Major Rohail-
Wo kese?

Pathan-
Hamara dukan mai jacket wala larka aya ur bola
"Allah O Akbar"
ek rupe ka sawal hy baba

Major Rohail:

Major Rohail:
Yaar tu itna bara ho gaya hai...
Aur ab tak teri darhi moonch nahi aai?
.
.
Pathan:
O yara hum apni AMMI pr gya hai...c

SANTA-YAR MUJHE APNI GF KO GIFT DENA HAI

SANTA-YAR MUJHE APNI GF KO GIFT DENA HAI.
BANTA-DIAMOND RING DE DO,
SANTA-NHI YAR AISI CHESE BATAO JO KABHI PAHNI NA HO
BANTA-GENTS KACHHA DE DE

Miss: Ager Lion ki jaga kutta jungle ka badshah hota,

Miss: Ager Lion ki jaga kutta jungle ka badshah hota,

To jungle ka kya haal hota ?

Student: Wohi Jo Aaj Pakistan Ka Hai .

Aik dafa aik molvi movie dekh raha tha.

Aik dafa aik molvi movie dekh raha tha.

Doosra aadmi: Molvi sahab aap ne to kaha tha ke ap movie nahi dekhte.

Molvi: Mein is ko Nafrat Ki Nigah se dekh raha hon...

Chaandni raat ke romantic palo me premika ne kaha

Chaandni raat ke romantic palo me premika ne kaha-
“Kaash! Agle janam me mai chaand banti!”
Premi- “Aur mai chandrama par utarne waala
pehla antriksh yaatri!”

Santa Pathan K Bachay Ko Dekh Kar Bola:

Santa Pathan K Bachay Ko Dekh Kar Bola:

Bohat Khubsurat Hy!

Kitne Maah Ka Hy?

Pathan Gussey Me Bola:

Kameene 1 Hi Maa Ka Hay.

Santa: Very Tasty, Aaj to tumhare ghar kheer kha kar majja aa gaya

Santa: Very Tasty, Aaj to tumhare ghar kheer kha kar majja aa gaya

Banta: Agar Billi muhn nahi marti to Kheer aur bhi achhi banti

Boy- Sir Ne Aaj Mujhe Bahut Mara

Boy- Sir Ne Aaj Mujhe Bahut Mara
Dad- Why ?
Boy- Sir Ne Puchha 2*3=? , Maine Kaha 6, Phir Puchha 3*2=?
Dad- Saale Dono Answer Same Hota Hai.
Boy- Maine Sir Ko Bilkul Aise Hi Kaha Tha..

GOLU Ek slim ladki ko

GOLU Ek slim ladki ko
Dekh Kar Bola-

Chehra tera khas nahi
Haddiyo me teri maas nahi
Pyar kya tujhse khak karu
Teri to jine ki bhi aas nahi

GOLU-Batao Ghadi Me Kitna Time Huma hai

GOLU-Batao Ghadi Me Kitna Time Huma hai
MOLU-Muje Ghadi Dekhne Ni Aata
GOLU-Ghadi Ki Dono Suaiya Kaha Hai
MOLU-Ghadi Ke Aandar...

GOLU & MOLU Raat ko Chhat Pe So Rahe The

GOLU & MOLU Raat ko Chhat Pe So Rahe The

MOLU to GOLU - Yaar Maachis Kahan Pe Hai?

GOLU: Teeli Jala k Dekh Le Yahi Hogi

1 behra scooter ghasit k la raha tha

1 behra scooter ghasit k la raha tha
2nd behra-petrol khatm ho gya kya
1st- nhi yar petrol khatm ho gaya
2nd- ohh.!Mujhe laga petrol khatm ho gya!!:-P

Sante kol 1sadhu aya,

Sante kol 1sadhu aya,
kenda kuj daan kro.
Santa-50 Rs. de dinda
hai, SADHU Khush ho ke,
Mang beta ki mangda hai,
Santa: Baba ji, mere 50 Rs mod do.. .. .. ..

Santa Marte Waqt-Tumhare Ghr 10 lakh ka

Santa Marte Waqt-Tumhare Ghr 10 lakh ka
daka maine dalwaya tha
0r 50 lakh ki chori b mene hi krai thi
Banta-Tumhe Zehar bi Maine diya he

girl 2 Dr: Medical check up karana hai.
Dr: sare kapde utar ke parde ke pichhe let jao.
Girl-mera nahi mummy ka.
Dr: Acha ! mataji jeeb dikhao.

Boy-mere sath chalogi. girl-kaha

Boy-mere sath chalogi. girl-kaha?

Boy-jaha tum kaho.

girl-ok ! Police station chalte hain.

Boy-lo batao ab banda apni bahen se mazak bhi nhi kr skta..

Doctor ne aik pagal se poocha:

Doctor ne aik pagal se poocha:

Tum chat se kyu latak rahe ho?

Pagal: Main aik bulb hoon...

Doctor: Tum jal kyu nahi rahe?

Pagal:

Bewakof...!!

Ye Pakistan Hai,

Light Gai Hui Hai.

Teacher:Test yaad hai?

Teacher:Test yaad hai?

Student:Miss me Jaise hi prhne betha to light chali gai,
baad mein is dar se parhne nahi betha,
k kahin meri waja se phir light na chali jay.

GIRL-Dear Hum Kaha Ja Rahe Hai?

GIRL-Dear Hum Kaha Ja Rahe Hai?

BOY-Long Drive Par Dear.

GIRL-Pahele Kyu Nahi Bataya.

BOY-Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Break FAIL hua.

Techr: why Taj Mahal considerd as a wonder of d world

Techr: why Taj Mahal considerd as a wonder of d world?

Student: Bcoz,Shahjahan built it witout taking any

.





.

loan 4m bank.... ;-)
Gud evening !!

Mother To Doctor On Phone

Mother To Doctor On Phone: Mere Bache Ko Current Laga Hai Mai Kya Karo Doctor: Pehle Ap 2 Nafil Shukrane Ada Karen K Apki Tarf Bijli Arahe Hay

Beta: Kitni sundar larki hy

Beta: Kitni sundar larki hy

Baap: Beta ye miss hen tumhari maan k brabar hen.

Beta: Haan abba har jagah apna chance lagana , hamen kuch nahin karne dena...;)

Faqeer: Pehle Aap 10 Rupe Dete They,

Faqeer: Pehle Aap 10 Rupe Dete They,

Phir 5, Ab 1 Rupya Kyu?

Aadmi Pehle Mein Kunwara Tha,

Phir Shadi Ki, Ab Bache Hein....

Faqeer: Bohot Khoob,

Matlab Mery Paison Sy Ayashian..!!

Reporter: Ap ne Credit Card chori wale case se kya sabak hasil kya?

Reporter:
Ap ne Credit Card chori wale case se kya sabak hasil kya?
.
.
.
.
Shumila Rana:
Shoping waha ke jae jaha Security Camera na lga ho

Height of Kanjoosi

Height of Kanjoosi

Major Rohail ka 1 rupeya 5ve manzil se gir gya
Major Rohail bhgate bhagte neche gya
Pr rupya na mila
Kyu?
Kyu k Major Rohail rupye se pehle neche pohanch gya

Teachr:& Students:

Teachr:
Us Bomb Ka Naam Bataiye Jo
Pakistan Ne India Par Phenka
Tha Aur India Ne Usey Pencil
Ki Tarhan Bana Dia?

Students:
Adnan SAMI….

1 Admi Ki Maut K Bad Uska Dost Uski

1 Admi Ki Maut K Bad Uska Dost Uski BV K Pas Aya Or Bola Kya Me Uski Jagah Le Skta Hu? BV:Muje Koi Aitraz Nhi QABRASTAN Walo Se Puch Lo ;->

1 admi bike pe ja raha tha.

1 admi bike pe ja raha tha.
Admi ne rastey pe jatey Santa se poucha?
Sir! Apko lift chahey kia?
.
.
.
.
Santa:Nahi hamara ghar tou Ground floor pe hai.

Tech: jab bijli chamkti ha to hum ko

Tech: jab bijli chamkti ha to hum ko roshni pehly aor awaz bad me Q ati ha?


santa: Kyonki hamari aankhen aagey hai aur kaan peechay ...:-P;->

Santa 1: yaar tm subah se mitti khod rhe ho

Santa 1: yaar tm subah se mitti khod rhe ho,kia baat hai,
banta kuch nahi yaar
Dada ji ne kha hai'k maine unka naam mitti me mila dia hai bas woi dhond raon

Teacher To Santa:

Teacher To Santa:

Btao Pineapple Aur Coconut K Tree Me Kia Similarty Hy...?




Santa Kafi Der Sochne K Baad:



Madam ! Us Me Angoor Nhi Lgte... ;->

Train chali, Santa ji 1 dibbe mai char gaye..

Train chali, Santa ji 1 dibbe mai char gaye..

TT bola: kyun paa ji, nazar nhe aate, ye ladies ka dibba hai.

Santa : Sorry ji, mere ko laga aap mard ho ;->

Santa Ka Ladka: I'm A Complan Boy.

Santa Ka Ladka: I'm A Complan Boy...

Santa Ki Ladki: I'm A Complan Girl....

Santa: Sala Paida Mene Kiya Or Naam Kisi Or Ka...

Santa k truck k peechay likha tha

Santa k truck k peechay likha tha
"chota parivar sukhi parivar"
Or uske nechay
Tinu, minu, chintu, chinky, pinky, guddu, guddi, sonu, monu, te sohan de papa di gaddi!!

Some1 wrote 2 santa,"Agr tum zaheen ho to Rs100 bhejo.

Some1 wrote 2 santa,"Agr tum zaheen ho to Rs100 bhejo.
Hoshyar ho to 200. Agr dono ho to 300 bhejo"

santa sent Rs600 n wrote, "O-A Main sabka baap hon:->"

santa was drying some fruits in the sunlight

santa was drying some fruits in the sunlight and then eating them

Some1 asked what r u doing?

Sardar: I am weak. The doc has advised me to eat dry fruits!

Dad: Kyu Ro Rahe Ho Beta?

Dad: Kyu Ro Rahe Ho Beta?
Chintu: Teachar Ne Mara..!
Dad: Tumne kuch Galti Ki Hogi.!!
Chintu: Nhi dady Mai Toh Aaram se So Raha Tha..!

SANTA & banta

Santa: Sabse bari durghatna kya ho sakti hai
Banta: Agar koi potty dhone ke dibbe me Tejab dal de

santa ne ek Gadda khoda or

santa ne ek Gadda khoda or usme ja k beth gaya?
banta ne puchha: ?Ae ki ho raya ha??
santa replied: DEEP THINKING

santa ko apna gadhha bechna tha

santa ko apna gadhha bechna tha

unho ne apne ek dost ko letter likha

?agar tmhen kabhi kisi gadhhay ki zroorut ho toh
mujhay yaad ker lena !?

Aaju-Tere Papa Tailor Hai Or

Aaju-Tere Papa Tailor Hai Or
Teri Shirt Fati Hai,

Muju-Sharm Ki Baat To Ye He Ki
Tere Papa Dentist He Or Tera Bhai Bina DANT Ke Paida Hua

Gabbar-Ye Hath Muje Dede Thakur

Gabbar-Ye Hath Muje Dede Thakur
Thakur-Nai
In Hatho Se Me Dosto Ko Msgs Krta Hu
YeJo Is Waqt Msg Padh Raha H Is Ke hath Lele
Ye kabhi Msg Nai Krta

FAQIR: Kuch khana De do

FAQIR: Kuch khana De do

MAF KARO BABA

FAQIR:Kuch To Do

Acha Baba Jo Ye SmS Padh Rha H Usko LeJao
FAQIR:Bheek Manga Tha Bhikari Nhi

santa CIGRATE P raha tha

santa CIGRATE P raha tha
Lady-tmhare Maa-Baap ko pata he tm cigrate pite ho?
snta-Kya Apke H usband ko PATA H Aap AJNABI Se baat krti ho

Ek Kali African ladki ko God ne Pankh de

Ek Kali African ladki ko God ne Pankh de diye to wo kushi se boli-Wow! God kya aab main Pari ban gayi hun? God-Nahi re Pagali tu aab Chamgadar ban gayi ho

Police:Bibi Ap Bht Bahadur Hain

Police:Bibi Ap Bht Bahadur Hain,Ap Ne Dakoo Ko Bohat Mara.

Lady:Mujhy Kya Pata Tha k Wo Bechara Dakoo Hay,

MeiN To Samjhi K Mera Shohar Dair Sy Ghar aya hai.

Golu, Molu se : aaj meri bakri ne pehla anda diya hai

Golu, Molu se : aaj meri bakri ne pehla anda diya hai!
Molu : bakri kaise anda de sakti hai?
Golu : arre yaar maine apni murgi ka naam bakri akha hai

Maa Bete Se:Uth Jaa Kmbakhat

Maa Bete Se:Uth Jaa Kmbakhat
Dekh So0raj Kb Ka Nikal aya Hy..

Beta:To Kya Hua Amma
Wo Sota B To Mjh Se Pehle Hy

Pathan Halwai Sy: Tum Kitny Saal Sy Jalebi Bana Rahy Ho

Pathan Halwai Sy: Tum Kitny Saal Sy Jalebi Bana Rahy Ho?
Halwai Bary Fakhar Sy 30 Sal Sy
Pathan: Bari Sharm Ki Bat Hy Tum Se Aaj Tak Jlebi Seedhi Nahi Bani,

TEACHER Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy

TEACHER Wo konsa DEPARTMENT hy jis me ORAT kaam nhi kr sakti

STUDENT FIRE BRIGADE

Teacher kyon


Student AURTON ka kaam AAG lgana hay bhujana nahi..

Biwi ney apney shohar ko khoob maara .

Biwi ney apney shohar ko khoob maara .

Shohar rota aur aahain bharta hua keh raha tha:

jo bhi karwa raha hai
America karwa raha hai....

Pathan :hum yahan nai rahay ga hmra paisa wapis karo

Pathan :hum yahan nai rahay ga hmra paisa wapis karo,

Itna chota kamra or 1 stool,

tum humein janwar smjhta hai.

Waiter:sir kamray may tu chalian ye Lift hai.

SHEIKH: Meri biwi buht fuzool kharch hai

SHEIKH: Meri biwi buht fuzool kharch hai,Jubse shadi hui ha roz 100, 200 mangti he.

DOST: Wo in paison ka kia karti hai?

SHEIKH: Kya pata Mane kbhi dye he nhi.

Maalik ka inteqal ho gaya hai...

Maalik ka inteqal ho gaya hai...

Santa: Janab, Car qabrastan mein khari thi..

Mein samjha ke is ky Maalik ka inteqal ho gaya hai...

santa fouj me bharti hua....

santa fouj me bharti hua....

2 Din bad jung shru ho gaiii.....

santa ki topi per goli lagi....

santa ne hathyaar phenk diye

aur chup kar bola .. " Aqalmand ke liye ishara kafi hota hai...

Doctor: tumhari sehat bohat kharab hai,

Doctor: tumhari sehat bohat kharab hai,
cigrrete-noshi chor do.

.
.
.

Pathan: ye nahi ho sakta kyon k cigarrete to chor donga.

Magar noshi meri biwi hai.

BOY: Tum Shadi K Bad Apne Liye

BOY: Tum Shadi K Bad Apne Liye Alag Ghar To Nahi Mangogi?GIRL:Nahi me aisi Ladki nahi hu.Tum Apni ma Ko Alag Ghar Dila Dena!
RISHTA WAHI, SOCH NAYEE
STAR PLUS:)

Ek baar chinti hathi k upar beth kr ja rahe hoti hain..

Ek baar chinti hathi k upar beth kr ja rahe hoti hain.. chinti
Raste me kacha pul aa jata ha usko dekhkr chinti boli "cross kr loge ya me utru?' :-)
:-D

Premika:Aisa Khat koi Likh Sajna,

Premika:Aisa Khat koi Likh Sajna,
Meri Umar Beet Jaye Pdhne Me...



Premi:



(!=0!> xE'?1!!:e'$ a?>#"e!%;>;>,e=$?#.P(p+>!$

Le Padh le.

Jyotish: Tumhri life men 14 larkyan ayen gi

Jyotish:
Tumhri life men 14 larkyan ayen gi



Boy"
Oh yess... What a life!"





Jyotish:
Ziyada khush mat ho.

1 Biwi or 13 betyan hongi.

Aadmi kumbh ke mele mai- he prabhu

Aadmi kumbh ke mele mai- he prabhu,
teri kripa se kumbh k mele mai bhai-bhai ko bichadte dekha hai,
kabhi pati-patni par b kripa barsao!

1st Pathan: Yara ye jahaz itna bara hoti hai

1st Pathan: Yara ye jahaz itna bara hoti hai

isay paint kese krte hain?

2nd Pathan: Woi Pagala jab ye door ja k chota sa ho jati hai phir paint krte hain

Santa- bhai jaldi jao tumhare ghar

Santa- bhai jaldi jao tumhare ghar mein pani ghus gaya hai.
.
.
.
.
Banta- Kyun jhuth bolta hai,ghar mein pani kaise ghus sakta hai,ghar ki chabi jo mere pass hai.

Robert:-Boss isne kuch nahi kiya

Robert:-Boss isne kuch nahi kiya phir ise saza kyu di.
Ajit:-smart boy!Aajkal PREPAID ka jamana hai.Pehle saza bhugto phir galti karo

Ustad: Konsa Prinda Sab Se Taiz Urta Ha?

Ustad: Konsa Prinda Sab Se Taiz Urta Ha?
Boy: Hathi
UstaD: Nalaiq,Tera Bap Kia Krta Hy?
Boy: BSP KA Unit incharg he
Ustad: Shabash Hathi is the right answer .

Pathan: Yar Sooraj Raat Ko

Pathan: Yar Sooraj Raat Ko
Kyu Nhi Nikalta?


2 pathan:
kia pata nikalta bi ho
andhera itna hota hai kahan dikhai day ga...

Beta-Papa aap press kyon karte hain

Beta-Papa aap press kyon karte hain.
Papa-Isase salvaten nikal jati hai.
Beta-Fir to achchha hai, main Dadaji ke gaal ki salvaten nikal dunga.

Santa ne apne 6 months k baby

Santa ne apne 6 months k baby
ki birthday partyrakhi,kisine
pucha:6 month k baby ka B'Day kese.
Santa:Hum semester system ko follow karte hai

fill in the blanks sms fill in the blanks 1.

fill in the blanks sms
fill in the blanks 1.

Three things in ME which U can never 4get. “____” ; “____” ; & “____” ; FiLL in d BLanks. WaiTinG 4 an HonesT RpLy! ;-) :-D:-)

fill in the blanks 2.

wo___bhi kya___thi, jis___me wo___thi us ___ k basane se mere dil ki ___`___thi in 7 blanks me 1hi word ata hai wo word kya hai ??? rply me

fill in the blanks 3.

Hurry up. Fill in the blanks with “Haan” or “Nahi”
1:____ main insan nehi hoon.
2:____ main hi chor hun.
3:____ main hi pagal hun.

fill in the blanks 4.

Fill in the blank…Im ur …..friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-Best of all Reply is a must…


Read more: Funny Sms - Part 2

Father: Mere 4 bachay hain,

Father: Mere 4 bachay hain, 3 ne MBA kea hua hai aur 1 Chor hai

Frnd: Jo choriyan karta ha usay ghar se nikaalte Q Nhi ho?

Father: ek wohi to Kama k lata hai..


Read more: Funny Sms - Part 2हिंदी

santa Banta se:

santa Banta se:

America main Hollywood hai.

India mai Bollywood hai.

England mai kya hai ?

Banta:

England mai Collingwood hai.. :-)

Shaadi mein khana khula...

Shaadi mein khana khula...

Santa ko plate nahi mili..

Santa apni jholi mein khana dalne laga..

Logon ne poocha Ye Kya..

Santa: Daagh To Chala Jaye Ga...

Ye Waqt Phir Nahi Aaye Ga

Wife: Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick

Wife: Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan kahan se aaya.. ?

Husband: Mai khud heran hon!
Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi..

Hostel student 2 his frnd:

Hostel student 2 his frnd:

"yaar dhoka ho gya".

Friend-"kya ho gya?".

studnt-"bhai kitab k paise mangvaaye the,

gharwalo ne kitabe bhej di'.

santa & banta

Santa-Ye 10 lakh ka cheque kisko de rahe ho?? Banta-apne bhai ko. Santa-apna sign to kar do. Banta-nahi. Main apna naam gupt rakhna chahta hu.

ye nhi kahta ki apke liye chand tare tod layenge,

ye nhi kahta ki apke liye chand tare tod layenge,
ye b nhi ki apke liye ye jahan chhor jayenge,
bus ek waada hai apse hamara,
kabhi apki ankho me ansu nhi layenge.

aadmi jyotish se

aadmi jyotish se

meri shaadi q nahi ho rahi..?

jyotish:

ab qudrat ne teri qismat mein dukh nahi likhy to mein kiya karun...

mein tumhy bangla dilaonga

mein tumhy bangla dilaonga
boy:
mein tumhy bangla dilaonga
car dilaonga
gold k dhiar laga dunga...


girl:
acha ye batao shaam ko park aao gy...???


boy:
haan agar dost ny bike de di tou....

Santa g ka ghora race main sbse peechay tha,

Santa g ka ghora race main sbse peechay tha,

kisi ne poocha:

Santa apka ghora konsa hai?

Santa:O dekh jinnay sareyan nu

agay laya hoya ae.

Teacher – Agar irada pakka kar k kuch

Teacher – Agar irada pakka kar k kuch kaam karo tou woh poora hota hai…!!!

Student – Rehne dain miss, agar aisa hota to aaj aap meri baahon me hoti..

1 Billi Chohey ko Pakar Rahi Thi,

1 Billi Chohey ko Pakar Rahi Thi,
Choha Bhag Bhag Kar Jab Thak Gaya


To Barrey Style Se Khary ho Kar Bola:









"Billo Rani! Kaho to Abi Jaan De Don." :-)

Teacher- Netaji, apka beta fail ho gaya hai

Teacher- Netaji, apka beta fail ho gaya hai aur aap laddu khila rahe hai?Netaji- 70 ladko ki class me 60 fail hai,bahumat 2 mere bete ke saath hai.

Major Rohail: Hamara Beta Nalaik Hai.

Major Rohail: Hamara Beta Nalaik Hai.
Hamesha Test Main "Andaa" Lata hai.


Anti Misba: Tum Kya Jano "Andey" ki Qeemat.

Pata hai Aaj Kal 105 Rupee Darjan hain. :-)

Ek Boy Ro Raha Tha:

Ek Boy Ro Raha Tha:

2nd Boy: Oye kya hua?

1st Boy: Aaj mere Abbu ne Mujhe Juta Mara Hai.

2nd Boy: Tum Khush Naseeb Ho.

"Jutta" Sirf "Azeem" Logon ko he Mara Jata Hia.

santa & BANTA

Santa: yar tu kisi k ghar afsos k liye gaya tha, itni jaldi kaise agaya?

banta: abe yaar 1 ghante baitha raha,
majaal hai jo kisi ne hans k baat ki ho.

Major Rohail: Jab tum itni tezi se garri chalatey

Major Rohail: Jab tum itni tezi se garri chalatey ho To mujhe bohat darr lagta hai.

Driver: Major Sahab aap b meri tarha ankhen Band kar liya kro.

Anti Misba: Tumari itni hansi kyu Nikal rhi hy?

Anti Misba: Tumari itni hansi kyu Nikal rhi hy?

Major Rohail: Tumara new dress dekh kar.

Anti Misba: Oh Acha! Is ka matlab tumne Abi new dress ka BILL nhi dekha.

Major Rohail: Ye main bardasht nhi kr sakta,

Major Rohail: Ye main bardasht nhi kr sakta,
Tumare hotel me bohat saari Makheyan hai.


Waiter: Hukam karen sir! Aap kitni bardasht kr sakte hy?
Baki ko bahar nekal dun ga.

Pathan: Mai Ullu kharedne gya par Nhe khareed ska.

Pathan: Mai Ullu kharedne gya par Nhe khareed ska.

Major Rohail: Kyu? Qeemat zeada tha ya Ullu pasand nhe aya?


Pathan: Ullu ne mre sath jane se inkar kr dya.

Santa: Muje E-Mail bnana hy.

Santa: Muje E-Mail bnana hy.
Santa
Santag
Santa123
Santaabc
Koe b nhe mil rha.

Major Rohail: Tum "AKALMAND SANTA" try kro 100% mil jye ga.

Boy: Papa mjhe Nokrani se pyar hy

Boy: Papa mjhe Nokrani se pyar hy
Mei us se shadi kronga.

Major Rohail: Nokarani ko rani banane ka na socho.

Boy: Kyu?

Major Rohail: Yehi galti mei ne b ke thi beta.

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola

Train mein TT Sadhu se bola : Kahan jana hai?
Sadhu : Jahan Ram ka janam hua tha.
TT : Ticket hai?


Sadhu : Nahin
TT : Chalo
Sadhu : Kahan?
TT : Jahan Krishan ka janam hua tha.. Jail mein

Anti Misba: Beta batao "SUCCESFUL" main kitne

Anti Misba: Beta batao "SUCCESFUL" main kitne
"C" aate hai?



Boy: Anti aap Ehtiyatan 3 dafa "C" laga lo.

Santa: Yar muje Major Rohail ne social

Santa: Yar muje Major Rohail ne social work krne Pr bohat mara.

Batna: Social Work?

Santa: Han, me ne qabristan k gate pr Welcome ka board lagaya tha.

Santa: Yaar ab tu mujhe SMS kyu nhi krta?

Santa: Yaar ab tu mujhe SMS kyu nhi krta?

Banta: Petrol mehnga ho gya hy.

Santa: Petrol & SMS?

Banta: Easy load karvane k lye ghar se 10 km
Dur bike pr jana prta hy.

BE-IZZATIIII...!!!

BE-IZZATIIII...!!!
Maths teacher: jab mai tumhare jitna bada tha, mere maths mein 100 marks aate the.
Student: Sir, aapko koi acha teacher padhata hoga.
:D

Munna-apun ka desh kaun chalata hai

Munna-apun ka desh kaun chalata hai? Circuit-bhai simple hai...apna SMS. Munna-kya fekta hai?Circuit-bhai sms bole to ....SARDAR MANMOHAN SINGH...

Patni- shadi se pahle aap roj gift dete they

Patni- shadi se pahle aap roj gift dete they,par ab nahi dete,kyu? Pati: kabhi tumne machuware ko machli pakadne ke baad usey dana dalte dekha hai kya?

2 choohay darakht pe bethy thy

2 choohay darakht pe bethy thy nechy se ek haathi guzra
ek chooha hathi py ja gira...!!!

dosra chooha bola,
daba k rakh saalay ko, mein bhi aata hoon..

Employee:

Employee:

Boss aap shadi shuda mardon ko hi noukri q daitay hain????????

Boss:

Q kay unhain pehlay hi say Gaalian khanay ki aadat hoti hai………….

santa & banta

Banta: tujhe apna laptop bada karwana hai..?

Santa: Haan yaar..

Banta: to fir Isme se
window nikalwa ke darvaja fit karva le..

Teacher: Tumhare father kia karte hain?

Teacher: Tumhare father kia karte hain?

Student: HBFC k malik hain.

Teacher: O Nice, acha ye HBFC ka matlab kia hai?

Student: Hafiz Burger & Fruit Chaat

1 Aurat ne ishara krke taiz a rhi bus ko roka

1 Aurat ne ishara krke taiz a rhi bus ko roka.

Driver: Kaha jana hai?

Aurat: Jana to kahin nhi hai..

Bacha ro raha hai.

Zara bus ka horn poo-poo baja do..

aik admi dosre se: bhia ye larki kia hoti hai?

aik admi dosre se: bhia ye larki kia hoti hai?






dosra:" pata nahi yar main to khud peshawar main rahta haon".

NewZealand me 1

NewZealand me 1
Bacha peda hua hy
Pedaish k wkt
uska wght 80kg tha jo bhurta gya or 15 din bad 280kg ho gya
herat angez Magr sach hy
Q k




Bacha Hathi ka tha.

1 Ghar mein TWINS paida huwe to saas ne kaha

1 Ghar mein TWINS paida huwe to saas ne kaha: mubarik ho! bhala bataao..
hmare pakistan k halat daikh kar bache bhi dunia mein akele ane se darte hain.

Bachi ko jor-jor se roti dekhkar maa ne poocha

Bachi ko jor-jor se roti dekhkar maa ne poocha- “kyo roti ho?”
Bachi- “Bhaiya ne meri gudiya tod di”
Maa- “Kaise? Kaise tod di?”
Bachi- “Maine gudiya uske sir par maari thi?”

Ek Maa boli- “Galiyo me khel-khelkar bache

Ek Maa boli- “Galiyo me khel-khelkar bache
kitne gande ho jaate hai”
Doosri Maa- “Haan, behanji Ab dekho na,
das bacho ke muh dhone pade, tab kahi
jaakar mai apne guddu ko pehchaan payi

Seeta- “Behan, bartan saaf karne ke liye sabse

Seeta- “Behan, bartan saaf karne ke liye sabse
achi kaun-si cheej hai?”
Geeta- “Maine bartan saaf karne ke liye bahut-si
cheeje istmaal ki, par pati se acha kisi ko nahi paya”

Master- “Rinku, kya kar rahe ho

Master- “Rinku, kya kar rahe ho? Padh rahe ho kya?”
Rinku- “Ji nahi Shrimaan, mai apki baat sun raha hu”

Nanhi bachi- “Dadiji, kya aap acting bhi karti hai

Nanhi bachi- “Dadiji, kya aap acting bhi karti hai?”
Dadi- “Nahi to, lekin kyo?”
Bachi- “Subah maa pitaji se kah rahi thi ki yadi aap yaha rahi to drama to jaroor hoga”

Maa- “Itne dino se tum apne premi ke saath ghoom

Maa- “Itne dino se tum apne premi ke saath ghoom
rahi ho, vah shaadi ke liye kuch nahi bolta,
aakhir vah chahta kya hai?”
Beti- “Pata nahi maa, jyada samay vah mujhe
andhere me hi rakhta hai”

1st Pathan: Mere bache honge

1st Pathan: Mere bache honge

To 1 ko Karachi

Aur 1 ko Lahore chor aonga....

2nd Pathan: Woh Kyu...?

1st Pathan: Kal T.V. per bata rahe they

Ke bachon ke darmiyan waqfa zaruri hai...

Bus Driver Ramu ko apni seat

Bus Driver Ramu ko apni seat par baitha dekhkar
bola- “Are, utho shaitaan, meri seat par kyo baitha hai?”
Ramu- “Driver uncle, mai sabse pehle aaya tha”

Jigyasu bache ne poocha- “Mummy, aap papa ko kaha mili?”

Jigyasu bache ne poocha- “Mummy, aap papa ko kaha mili?”
Maa- “Ek picnic me”
Bacha- “Kya mai aapke saath tha?”
Maa- ‘Nahi, jab gayi thi to tum nahi the,
lekin jab mai lauti to tum saath aaye thec

Adhyapika- “Jo kaam tumne nahi kiya, uske liye

Adhyapika- “Jo kaam tumne nahi kiya, uske liye
tumhe saja bhi nahi milegi|”
Rinki- “Dhanyavad Madam, aaj mai homework bhool gayi hoon”

Adhyapak- “Kya tum kisi badi ladai ke

Adhyapak- “Kya tum kisi badi ladai ke baare me jaante ho?
Ramesh- “Ji haan, lekin baat yah hai ki mummy ne ghar ki baate baahar batane se mana kiya hai”

Master- “Rakesh, suna hai,

Master- “Rakesh, suna hai, tumhare ghar me naya baby aaya hai?”
Rakesh- “Ji, naya kyo kehte hai aap? Jab rota hai
to aisa lagta hai ki barso se rona seekhta raha hai

Maa- “Rinku, tum bure bacho ke saath kyo khelte ho,

Maa- “Rinku, tum bure bacho ke saath kyo khelte ho,
ache bacho ke saath kyo nahi khelte?”
Rinku- “Maa, un ache bacho ki maatao ne apne
bacho ko mere saath khelne se mana kar diya hai”

Ek Chote ladke ne apne adhyapak

Ek Chote ladke ne apne adhyapak ko chunauti dete huye poocha- “Agar George Washington sachmuch ek imaandaar vyakti the, to unke janamdin par banko ko kyo band rakha jaata hai?”

Master- “Batao, gadhe aur manushya me kya fark hai?”

Master- “Batao, gadhe aur manushya me kya fark hai?”
Vidhyarthi- “Manushya ko gadha kaha ja sakta hai,
parantu gadhe ko manushya nahi kaha ja sakta|”

Santa- “Ab mai kisi ladki ke saamne shaadi ki

Santa- “Ab mai kisi ladki ke saamne shaadi ki
baat nahi rakhunga”
Banta- “Kyo… Kya phir kisi ne mana kar diya?”
Santa- “Nahi yaar, ek ladki ne sweekar kar liya hai”

"Police Afsar PATHAN se:

"Police Afsar PATHAN se:

Tumhari maadri zuban kon si hai?

PATHAN: Koi nahi..

Police Afsar: Kyun?

PATHAN: Meri ammi goongi thi...:

BHIKARI-maine ek kitab likhi hai jiska naam

BHIKARI-maine ek kitab likhi hai jiska naam hai paise kamane ke sau tarike.
Raahgir-to phir bhik kyon maang rahe ho
BHIKARI- YE UN SAU TARIKO ME SABSE AASAN TARIKA HAI.

Teacher santa sey Koi aisa jumla bnao jis mai

Teacher santa sey Koi aisa jumla bnao jis mai

'MAGAR' 2 dafa istamaal hua ho,,,

santa:-

"Wo Mery aagy chal rahi thi or main us k"!!
'MAGAR'
'MAGAR'

santa ki beti "LAADO" Bacpan se

santa ki beti "LAADO" Bacpan se japan me thi Wo india aai per airport se return ho gayi Q ki waha bord lagha tha "NA AANA IS DESH MERI LADO

After car accident

After car accident
American: Its fine man...

British: Im So Sorry

chines: are u oky?

Pakstani:O BhaRve, Andha hai Kya, Kutte ki tarha chala rha tha,Tere Baap ka Road hai ...

Girl: Lekin mein tumse Umer mein 1 saal barri hoon..!

Girl:
Lekin mein tumse Umer mein 1 saal barri hoon..!


Pathan:
Oye baaji fikar kyun karta hy,
Hum tumse aglay saal shaadi karleg

santaji, Agar aap ki wife ko Jin chimmat jayein...

santaji, Agar aap ki wife ko Jin chimmat jayein...

To aap kya karo ge...?

santaji:Mein ne kya karna hai...

Ghalti Jin ki hai, Khud Bhugtey....

Do memon hotel mein aik dusre ko mile...

Do memon hotel mein aik dusre ko mile...

4 din baad dono mar gaye...!

*

*

Wajah kya thi...?


*

Woh 4 din aik dusre ko dekhte rahe..

Ke khana kon mangwaye ga...?

Teacher: Translate into English

Teacher: Translate into English

“Yaad-e-maazi azab hai ya Rab

Cheen lai mujh say hafiza mera”

Pathan: My mind is full of data base

O God! Please make me a mental case….

BOY TO GIRL: Tum to 14v ka chand ho

BOY TO GIRL: Tum to 14v ka chand ho


Girl: Sach, kya main itni khoobsorat hoon?


Boy: Arey nahin !!

Main to yeh batana chah raha tha kay tum itni gool matool ho....

Teacher: Batao kay chooza anday say

Teacher: Batao kay chooza anday say

kaisay nikalta hai???

Pathan: Miss yeh baat itna important nai..

Soochnay wala baat yeh hai kay chooza

Anday main ghusa kaisay????

SANTA - BABA MUJHE KOI AISA KAAM

SANTA - BABA MUJHE KOI AISA KAAM BATAO JAHAN MUJHE KUCH NA KARNA PADE, LOG KAREN AUR MUJHE PAISE MILE.



BABA-JA BETA. "SULABH SHOCHALAYE" KHOL DE. .

Larka Shadi K Liye Larki Dekhne Gaya.

Larka Shadi K Liye Larki Dekhne Gaya.


Larka: Main Tum Pe Vishvas Kese Karun k Tum Achi Larki ho?


Larki: Pehle Istemaal Karen Phir Vishvas Karen! :-)

Shadi ki raat Santa apni BV

Shadi ki raat Santa apni BV k liye Gulab ka Phool le kr Aaya

BV:Mujhe ye nhi chahiye,
koi SONAY ki Cheez do

Santa:Ye lo Takiya aur SO Jao.

DO MACHER BIKE PAR JA RAHE THE..

DO MACHER BIKE PAR JA RAHE THE... RASTE ME HATHI NE LIFT MANGI TO MACHER NE KAHA DEKH LE FIR TERI MAA KAHEGI KI LOAFERO KE SATH GHOOM RAHA HAI.

DO MACHER BIKE PAR JA RAHE THE..

DO MACHER BIKE PAR JA RAHE THE... RASTE ME HATHI NE LIFT MANGI TO MACHER NE KAHA DEKH LE FIR TERI MAA KAHEGI KI LOAFERO KE SATH GHOOM RAHA HAI.

Sharabi-AAJ Tab tak piyenge

Sharabi-AAJ Tab tak piyenge
jab tak woh saamne wale 3
ped(tree)6 nai
dikhte
pub manager-saalon bas karo
saamne pehle se hi 1 ped he

Garmi me Bus Stop pe Log bus K intizaar me khade the,

Garmi me Bus Stop pe Log bus K intizaar me khade the,
1 Faqir aya,
Sub se Bhik mangi
Or
Taxi me baith kar chala gaya...!!

Santa-Teri Sabse Badi Takat Kya He

Santa-Teri Sabse Badi Takat Kya He

Banta-Meri Patni

Santa-Sabse Badi Kamzori ??

Banta-Dusro Ki Patni..

Dr: Motape ka 1 hi Elaj He.

Dr: Motape ka 1 hi Elaj He.
Tum Daily Sirf 2 Rotiya Khaya Karo

GOLU: 2 Rotiya

khana khane se pehle
ya
Khane k baad

Dhobi Ne 1 admi Ki Chaddi Thek Se Nhi Dhoyi,

Dhobi Ne 1 admi Ki Chaddi Thek Se Nhi Dhoyi,

admi Ne Chitthi Likh K Bheji

"KAPRE THEK SE DHOYA KARO"

Dhobi Ne Jawab Likh K Bheja

"CHOOTAR THEEK SE DHOYA KARO"

yaar museebat aane per log upar wale ko hi kusoor war kun thraten hain,

yaar museebat aane per log upar wale ko hi kusoor war kun thraten hain,

dusra dost,
"kunki biwi ko kusoorwar thrane se museebat aur badh jayaigi..

Aik Pagal (hath mai cigarette chupa kr):

Aik Pagal (hath mai cigarette chupa kr): btao mere hath mai kia hai?
.
dosara pagal: rail gari........
.
1st:Tumhe kaise pata chala?
.
2nd:maine dhuwan niklte dekha.............

ek punjabi apni un parh maa se phone py:

ek punjabi apni un parh maa se phone py:

maa mein is sunday par pakistan aa raha hoon..

maa: wah puttar: log jahaz ty aaundey ny
.
.
.
.
tu sandhay ty awein gaa....

Maalik Naukar say:Maalik Naukar say:

Maalik Naukar say:
yeh tum kisi bhi kaam k liye jaatay ho to wapas aanay main

2 - 3 ghantay kyun laga daitay ho. ?


Naukar:
sahab aap nay he to kaha tha k bijli ki tarah kaam karna .........

husband: are munne ko samjhao

husband: are munne ko samjhao ,zid kr raha hai ki gadhe per bethunga...

wife: to kya hua bcha hi to hai,
zara si der ke liye bhitha kun nahi lete..

Baap ne betay se kaha

Baap ne betay se kaha :
'dekho ye aaj tumhari teacher ki taraf se mujhe 1 letter mila he....'

Beta : 'aap bay-fikar rahen, mein ammi ko nahi bataon ga.

Pathan:aj humara jumaah ka namaz nikal gaya yara!!!

Pathan:aj humara jumaah ka namaz nikal gaya yara!!!

Dost:kese yara?

Patahn: Yara imam saab bola apne mobile band kr den,humara ghar par tha..

Jab band kar ke Aya to jamat nikal gaya...

Teacher: Kids write an essay

Teacher: Kids write an essay on President of Pakistan.....
.
.
.
.
Few Moments Later...........
.
.
.
.
.
Student: Miss! What is the english of Kanjar????

Dr. to Patient's frnd: Agr 1 ghanta pehle

Dr. to Patient's frnd: Agr 1 ghanta pehle le aty to hum isy bacha lete.


Friend: Aby saly,

aadha ghanta pehle to iska accident hua hai 1ghanta pehle kese le ata?

Snta College Ki Ladki se Bola I love U! Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hu! Snta: pagli sir Ko Mt Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai Hai.

Snta College Ki Ladki se Bola
I love U!
Ab Tum Mujhe Bolo
Girl:Mai Abhi Ja K sir Ko Bolti Hu!
Snta: pagli sir Ko Mt Bol Unki Shadi Ho Gai Hai.

Friend (Santa) se: Me Tennis k barey me Tum sy Ziada Janta hun.

Friend (Santa) se: Me Tennis k barey me Tum sy Ziada Janta hun.

Santa: Acha te aey duss k Tennis de Net wich kinnay Moray honday ne.:-)

Pathan raat ko cycle ly k qabristan main ghus gaya

Pathan raat ko cycle ly k qabristan main ghus gaya.

Phir dusri side se bahar nikla aur

paseena ponchhty huwy bola:

Yaara, ye konsa road tha?

Itna speed breaker?

Sadhu: we go years

Sadhu:
we go years
without verbal communication..

we call it 'MAUNVRAT'...!!


Man:
we have
the same experience,
but we call it 'MARRIAGE'...!!

santa& banta

Santa: Yaar aaj to 1 Rs. me 3 amrood mil gye.
Banta: Wo kaise?

Snta: 1 Rs. ka 1 usne dia, 1 mai utha k bhag gya, or 1 usne muje fek ke mara...

itni chboss:pichle 6 mahino mein tumne khutiya li hai

itni chboss:pichle 6 mahino mein tumne khutiya li hai.kabhi bimari,to kabhi honeymoon,bacheki bimari.ab kya hai?

karamchari:kal meri shaadi hai.

anta was playing Chess with his Dog!

anta was playing Chess with his Dog!

Friend: Aray wahhh! tera kutta to buhat intelligent hai....

santa: kiya khaak intelligent hai,

5 me sey 3 to mai jeeta hun...

Sante ki BV bhaag gai.

Sante ki BV bhaag gai.
3 din baad wapis aaye
santa gusse se bola
"Hun ki lain aayi ain'

Preeto:

"Mobile da charger".

girl-:teri yaad me neend udti hai,

girl-:teri yaad me neend udti hai,
chain khota hai kuch kuch hota hai,
boy-:doctor ko dikha lo swine flu aise hi hota hai,

Miss: Aaj Tum Late Q Aae?

Miss: Aaj Tum Late Q Aae?
School 7 baje Shuru Hota Hai Fir der Q Ki?

Kid:Miss,Aap Meri Itni Fikar Mat Kiya Karo Log Galat Samajhte Hai.!

Santa ki 10 betiyan thi phir ja

Santa ki 10 betiyan thi phir ja
kar uske ghar 1 beta paida hua.
Santa ne uska naam kya rakha
hoga?
.
.
.
.
MUSHKIL SINGH.

Beta: Papa ye SMS kise kahte hai or Ye kiske kaam aata hai?

Beta: Papa ye SMS kise kahte hai or Ye kiske kaam aata hai?
!
Papa: Beta Ye VIP Log bhejte hai
or KANJOOS Logo k padhne k kaam aata hai.

1980-bhaisab enginir sahab ka ghar konsa hai?

1980-bhaisab enginir sahab ka ghar konsa hai?
wo jobada bangala hai wo
2014-xcuse me yaha enginir sahab ka ghar konsa hai?
abey kisi b ghar me ghus ja

santa to rikshawala : Are o bhai khali ho kya

santa to rikshawala : Are o bhai khali ho kya
Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali hoon
santa: Aao Chalo Phir Tash khelte hain..

police to sharabi-:

police to sharabi-:
kahan ja raha hai be,
sharabi daru pine se hone wale nuksaan par parvachan sun ne ja rha hoon,
police itni raat ko koun deta hai parvachan,
sharabi meri biwi

boy-tumhari aankhain kitni haseen hai,

boy-tumhari aankhain kitni haseen hai,
girl-choro na,
boy-tumhare baal kitne khubsurat hai,
girl-choro na aap bhi,
boy-abhi tak to chor hi raha tha...

ek memon ki plate se murgi ka tukda

ek memon ki plate se murgi ka tukda utha kar billi bhaag gayi
memon ne bahot koshish ki use pakadne ki par pakad na saka
to bola ya allah is ka sawaab abba marhoom ko mile...

Ladki Deo laga ke Bus pe chadhi,

Ladki Deo laga ke Bus pe chadhi, Ladke ne comment paas kiya 'Aajkal Phinayal ka Use zyada hota hai'

Ladki boli: 'Fir bhi makkhiya pichha nahi chhodte'

kanjoos baap bete se-:

kanjoos baap bete se-:
meri dili khwaish hai ki tum bade hokar wakil bano,
son wo kyu?
kanjoos-:taki mera black coat tumhare kaam aa jaye...

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?

Santa: oye banta machli khayega?
Banta:nahi yaar usme kaante hote hain.
Santa: oye chadd yaar, chappal pahen k kha lena.

Principal : y r u late..all ur classmates

Principal : y r u late..all ur classmates came to class in time..??!!


Student :
"jhund me kutte ate hain sir......
sher to akela ata hai "

Ladka- Apni class fellow se,

Ladka- Apni class fellow se, Tum paas ho gayi ho?
GirL- Haa bilkuL!
Ladka- to muh to meetha karwa do!
GirL- Kis se?

Ladka- Chalo kiss se he karwa do...

:-D
Gm

Tchr:Galti hone pe maafi magne waale ko kya kehte hai.

Tchr:Galti hone pe maafi magne waale ko kya kehte hai.?
Stud:Samajhdar.
Tchr:Aur galti na hone pe b mafi magne waale ko kya kehte hai.?



Stud:Boyfrnd...